My new boyfriend of 5 months
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: the moon, milky way
Posts: 1,250
So glad to hear that you are at a better place now with him and the relationship! As he achieves more goals, finishing school for example, then his self confidence will build as well as his self esteem. All good things to maintain sobriety.
You listened and that is a healthy sign in any relationship.
Best of luck!
You listened and that is a healthy sign in any relationship.
Best of luck!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Northfield NJ
Posts: 31
Hi My name is Hailee and I just thought that my experience could help you make a decision about child rearing with an Alcoholic. When I married my husband, we were both 35. He had a son from a previous marriage who was 13 but got divorced when his son was two. My husband begged me for a family, wanted children more than anything--begged me. He had $$, very successful construction business. Our daughter was 8 mos old when he walked out on me the first time.
I thought it was strange that he would disappear for a few days, just because we argued-my parents argued sometimes too-but my dad never left us for days at a time. Got pregnant right away again and when I was 4 months along--I found the empty liquor bottles hidden all over the house followed by dozens of disappearing acts.
I never knew he was an alcoholic. Says he relapsed after 7 years. Divorced the first time for being drunk/not working/rehab multiple times/DUI's. Now history repeats itself.
I stood by for many many detoxes, rehab stays (at least 4), amother DUI -ended up becoming pregnant again accidentally (God has his own plan)! I am blessed with my children. Wouldn't trade them for a million bucks.
I am an RN--my husband was drunk after I completed my shift at the hospital. He lost his whole business. Noone wanted to use his business because he was in rehab or checked into a motel drinking most of the time. He is now in Florida. He abandoned all of us. His parents bought him a condo and a truck down there with cash. We have two little girls 5 and 7 and an 18 mo old son. He has been gone for 1/3 of my son's life.
He is a horrible father. Sure he loves them, but loves the liquor more. Who walks out on their babies and moves 1000 miles away. He just looks for an escape. Hasn't paid one dime in support since October when he took off. We went to church, he had Christian counselor, etc. etc. Alcohol will always come first to him.
Just my experience. Please think very carefully.
I thought it was strange that he would disappear for a few days, just because we argued-my parents argued sometimes too-but my dad never left us for days at a time. Got pregnant right away again and when I was 4 months along--I found the empty liquor bottles hidden all over the house followed by dozens of disappearing acts.
I never knew he was an alcoholic. Says he relapsed after 7 years. Divorced the first time for being drunk/not working/rehab multiple times/DUI's. Now history repeats itself.
I stood by for many many detoxes, rehab stays (at least 4), amother DUI -ended up becoming pregnant again accidentally (God has his own plan)! I am blessed with my children. Wouldn't trade them for a million bucks.
I am an RN--my husband was drunk after I completed my shift at the hospital. He lost his whole business. Noone wanted to use his business because he was in rehab or checked into a motel drinking most of the time. He is now in Florida. He abandoned all of us. His parents bought him a condo and a truck down there with cash. We have two little girls 5 and 7 and an 18 mo old son. He has been gone for 1/3 of my son's life.
He is a horrible father. Sure he loves them, but loves the liquor more. Who walks out on their babies and moves 1000 miles away. He just looks for an escape. Hasn't paid one dime in support since October when he took off. We went to church, he had Christian counselor, etc. etc. Alcohol will always come first to him.
Just my experience. Please think very carefully.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: baltimore, md
Posts: 8
Hi everyone well is has been year now and my bf is still sober.Sept 14th 3 yrs. He is still working and going to school. No I have not had a child nor walked down the isle. We are okay with this.
We talk all the time and getting to know each other better. We are discovering new things about ourselves dalily. Which makes me so glad I listened to all of you. We are now asking questions like is he or she the one really? We were truly blinded by lust. We may be a older but we feel like rookies in relationship land. He said all his other relationships were a failure while he used. With a clear head he can now see how to be a good friend first. He is learning to care for someone else and not to hurt himself. He learning that it's not good to be alone all the time, like back in the day when it included a bottle of JackD.
We are taking it one day at a time and I am really okay with it. I have been to more then a few meetings with him and that has helped me so much. I plan to attend more.
We talk all the time and getting to know each other better. We are discovering new things about ourselves dalily. Which makes me so glad I listened to all of you. We are now asking questions like is he or she the one really? We were truly blinded by lust. We may be a older but we feel like rookies in relationship land. He said all his other relationships were a failure while he used. With a clear head he can now see how to be a good friend first. He is learning to care for someone else and not to hurt himself. He learning that it's not good to be alone all the time, like back in the day when it included a bottle of JackD.
We are taking it one day at a time and I am really okay with it. I have been to more then a few meetings with him and that has helped me so much. I plan to attend more.
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