It's been a while..
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: London, UK
Posts: 927
It's been a while..
Hello all 
It has been a while since I posted. The last time I was here I was early in the process of recovery. Kinda fresh from leaving my A, recovering from injuries received on leaving, stumbling around making sense of it all and of me.
Well, in a couple of months time I will be two years down the track. Wow time has flown and whilst it hasn't always been easy I can look back now and see just how far I have come. I'm happy in work, happy in my life and have in it a man who is the antithesis of the one I left.
I suppose I'm posting this to say to anyone new here, it DOES get better. Just hang in there..
Tx
It has been a while since I posted. The last time I was here I was early in the process of recovery. Kinda fresh from leaving my A, recovering from injuries received on leaving, stumbling around making sense of it all and of me.
Well, in a couple of months time I will be two years down the track. Wow time has flown and whilst it hasn't always been easy I can look back now and see just how far I have come. I'm happy in work, happy in my life and have in it a man who is the antithesis of the one I left.
I suppose I'm posting this to say to anyone new here, it DOES get better. Just hang in there..
Tx
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,516
Tallulah! I remember you! Thank you for the update, and the encouragement! And please, if you have the energy, hang around and tell us how you worked through whatever garbage you took with you out of your bad relationship... I'm so, so, so happy for you!
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: London, UK
Posts: 927
Aw ty lillamy.
Of course I have the energy :ghug3 that's one of the beauties of not being in that relationship anymore.. no longer drained! Anyone wants to know anything.. they just have to ask.
I posted because I remember the disorientated woman fresh out of a really dysfunctional relationship, who wanted to believe that everything would work out and would come through it, but just couldn't visualise it. If one person reads that it WILL be better and has even a grain of hope, then....
Of course I have the energy :ghug3 that's one of the beauties of not being in that relationship anymore.. no longer drained! Anyone wants to know anything.. they just have to ask.
I posted because I remember the disorientated woman fresh out of a really dysfunctional relationship, who wanted to believe that everything would work out and would come through it, but just couldn't visualise it. If one person reads that it WILL be better and has even a grain of hope, then....
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Nice to *see* you again T!
Thank you for checking in with an update on YOU!
It is inspiring to read the positives that your journey has provided, stick around and share as much as time allows.
Thank you for checking in with an update on YOU!
It is inspiring to read the positives that your journey has provided, stick around and share as much as time allows.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
I am _so_ glad you posted, tallulah 
You've been missed. Thank you for these wonderfully positive posts. There's nothing like the light of hope from someone who's been there, done that, and came out a winner.
Mike
You've been missed. Thank you for these wonderfully positive posts. There's nothing like the light of hope from someone who's been there, done that, and came out a winner.Mike
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
tallulah I do remember you. I think you, naive, MissFixit, NYC Chick are in my same "generation" 
2 years... its not that much time, but its light years away in many aspects. So, so glad you came back to say hi and that your life is much better. Thanks for sharing your hope today. I am so glad for you!!
HUGS!!
2 years... its not that much time, but its light years away in many aspects. So, so glad you came back to say hi and that your life is much better. Thanks for sharing your hope today. I am so glad for you!!HUGS!!
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: London, UK
Posts: 927
Aww Pelican and Desert Eyes and TakingCharge. 
TakingCharge.. omg yes.. I remember us sooo well. I hope you're doing ok and you're happy
Mike.. not to blow smoke up your bum or anything.. but I'd just like to say that your words of encouragement made a difference. I never forgot them.
I remember, back in the dark old days of post break-up, reading posts from people further down the track than me and thinking, 'I want that level of calm and peace but can I get it, will I get it'. I admit to being cynical about ever getting positives from such a messed up negative situation. It's like winning the lottery, you never think it could be me. Well.. it can be.
And, as mad as it may sound to someone who is deep in the maelstrom, I am grateful it happened, because it has made me who I am today. I think, well hope, I'm a better stronger person for having gone through it. For example, I didn't know the serenity prayer before that chapter in my life.. and now it's one of my philosophies for living. It also brought me to here and my Al-anon buddies, gifts in my life i would never have had, had it not been for that madness.
You guys rock.
TakingCharge.. omg yes.. I remember us sooo well. I hope you're doing ok and you're happy
Mike.. not to blow smoke up your bum or anything.. but I'd just like to say that your words of encouragement made a difference. I never forgot them.
I remember, back in the dark old days of post break-up, reading posts from people further down the track than me and thinking, 'I want that level of calm and peace but can I get it, will I get it'. I admit to being cynical about ever getting positives from such a messed up negative situation. It's like winning the lottery, you never think it could be me. Well.. it can be.
And, as mad as it may sound to someone who is deep in the maelstrom, I am grateful it happened, because it has made me who I am today. I think, well hope, I'm a better stronger person for having gone through it. For example, I didn't know the serenity prayer before that chapter in my life.. and now it's one of my philosophies for living. It also brought me to here and my Al-anon buddies, gifts in my life i would never have had, had it not been for that madness.
You guys rock.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,059
hey tallulah-
just wondering what happened to your A...is he still drinking? mine is.
as for me, i'm fine. and yes, it's been two years. i have a nice little flat now, a vegetable garden. i'm into juicing and trying to transition to 100% raw diet. i've rehabilitated my broken shoulder...no more pain, but not as flexible as it used to be. i'm hoping the green juice will cause the scar tissue to be rejuvanated with new cells.
no man for me and digging it. free and single with time to make some changes in my habits.
i'd love to hear more about your new life.
naive
just wondering what happened to your A...is he still drinking? mine is.
as for me, i'm fine. and yes, it's been two years. i have a nice little flat now, a vegetable garden. i'm into juicing and trying to transition to 100% raw diet. i've rehabilitated my broken shoulder...no more pain, but not as flexible as it used to be. i'm hoping the green juice will cause the scar tissue to be rejuvanated with new cells.
no man for me and digging it. free and single with time to make some changes in my habits.
i'd love to hear more about your new life.
naive
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: London, UK
Posts: 927
Hey naive
I'm glad you're doing well. You sound peaceful and happy. I'm so proud of you :ghug3 Sorry to hear the shoulder isn't 100% yet.. but it can take time. I was told you really don't get an idea of what you might have to work with until you get 2 years post injury under your belt. Stick with it babe.
I've been lucky with my thumb. If you saw it now you'd be amazed. I was religious with my physio. I even had to point out the scar to my manicurist the other day, she couldn't believe it had been severed. It still aches sometimes and reminds me to be a little more delicate with it than the thumb on my right hand.. but I really can't complain as I've healed pretty well considering. Massage.. can't recommend it enough.. my physio made me massage the scar for two solid hours a day. I was like whaaaaaaaaaaaaat! Two hours! Who has two hours to sit massaging a thumb! But I did it because quite frankly she was scary and knew immediately if I hadn't been doing my exercises and scar care. She knew what she was talking about.. even if I thought she was bonkers. I even massage it now.. sit there with some Bio-oil and just give it a lil 10/15 minute pampering.
I have absolutely nooo clue how the ex is. The last time I saw him was just before the Police arrested him for his attack on me. Luckily he finally entered a guilty plea, so I didn't have to go to court to give evidence.. not that by that time (which was like some 4 months after he attacked me) I wasn't fully ready to go to court and face him. I was soooo damn ready to get it done, over with and end that chapter. I don't know where he is, how he is, who he is.. and to be honest, I like it that way. I don't even think about him.. posting here is the first time he's even entered my thoughts in so very very long. I decided early on not to let him live rent free in my head.. lol.
I got back to work about 4 months after the attack.. so about 2 weeks after the surgeon/consultant gave me the all clear. Moved into a new place. Re-connected with friends I had neglected. Romantically.. dated off and on but no-one special until recently. I was happy on my own, working on me, doing counselling and Al-anon, being with friends, having the life I'd given up when I got on the A's merry-go-round. Met a wonderful guy in November (2010) who I adore and who adores me (yaay). It's an adult relationship and couldn't be more different from the one with the A. It's early days yet, but I've not seen one single red flag pop up and he doesn't have any addictions! He's emotionally pretty healthy and whilst I have no idea how long this relationship will last, it's a brilliant reminder that all men are not like the A. He just popped into my life unexpectedly.. guess my HP thought it was time to bring him in.
*hugs*
Tx
I'm glad you're doing well. You sound peaceful and happy. I'm so proud of you :ghug3 Sorry to hear the shoulder isn't 100% yet.. but it can take time. I was told you really don't get an idea of what you might have to work with until you get 2 years post injury under your belt. Stick with it babe.
I've been lucky with my thumb. If you saw it now you'd be amazed. I was religious with my physio. I even had to point out the scar to my manicurist the other day, she couldn't believe it had been severed. It still aches sometimes and reminds me to be a little more delicate with it than the thumb on my right hand.. but I really can't complain as I've healed pretty well considering. Massage.. can't recommend it enough.. my physio made me massage the scar for two solid hours a day. I was like whaaaaaaaaaaaaat! Two hours! Who has two hours to sit massaging a thumb! But I did it because quite frankly she was scary and knew immediately if I hadn't been doing my exercises and scar care. She knew what she was talking about.. even if I thought she was bonkers. I even massage it now.. sit there with some Bio-oil and just give it a lil 10/15 minute pampering.
I have absolutely nooo clue how the ex is. The last time I saw him was just before the Police arrested him for his attack on me. Luckily he finally entered a guilty plea, so I didn't have to go to court to give evidence.. not that by that time (which was like some 4 months after he attacked me) I wasn't fully ready to go to court and face him. I was soooo damn ready to get it done, over with and end that chapter. I don't know where he is, how he is, who he is.. and to be honest, I like it that way. I don't even think about him.. posting here is the first time he's even entered my thoughts in so very very long. I decided early on not to let him live rent free in my head.. lol.
I got back to work about 4 months after the attack.. so about 2 weeks after the surgeon/consultant gave me the all clear. Moved into a new place. Re-connected with friends I had neglected. Romantically.. dated off and on but no-one special until recently. I was happy on my own, working on me, doing counselling and Al-anon, being with friends, having the life I'd given up when I got on the A's merry-go-round. Met a wonderful guy in November (2010) who I adore and who adores me (yaay). It's an adult relationship and couldn't be more different from the one with the A. It's early days yet, but I've not seen one single red flag pop up and he doesn't have any addictions! He's emotionally pretty healthy and whilst I have no idea how long this relationship will last, it's a brilliant reminder that all men are not like the A. He just popped into my life unexpectedly.. guess my HP thought it was time to bring him in.
*hugs*
Tx
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