LS2

Can an alcoholic stay friends with people who they used to drink with? If you're a RA, how could you even want to be around someone who is drinking?

My sober-but-not-in-recovery-children's-father took my two little ones ice-fishing yesterday. BUT he failed to mention that his friend, who's an alcoholic, was going to be there too. He made me think he was just barrowing this friends fish house to take the kids. Turned out this "friend" has another fish house and was up there with his two kids, which are close in age with mine.

Well after they got home that evening I asked my daughter, who is four, if daddys friend was drinking pop (Their dad had always told the kids its "pop") She said yeah that he was drinking the blue pops. Which is most likely beer because this guy never drinks pop. She didn't think daddy had one but he was drinking his "Diamond mountain" Diet mt. dew.

Those poor kids, they stayed overnight in a fish house with a drunk dad. Grrrrr and the kids mom whom I used to/kinda be friends was at home with their baby and is probably well aware her husband was drinking. We used to drink almost everyother night with this family..Our kids would play and we would drink.When she got pregnant it all came to a hault and I realized my drinking was a problem and stopped. It makes me so mad at myself that I had put my kids through that, but I have now forgave myself for the past and would never put my kids life in danger like that.

What is the difference of a problem drinker or an alcoholic? I'm trying to figure out why I drank alot during this time. I'm kind of confused if I would be an alcoholic or not? My problem was more of he pressured me to drink with him all.the.time. and I would go waaaay over my limit...Drinking makes me feel extremely tired and depressed.

Ok one more thing, My sober-childs-father's work has a company weekend at a hotel water park. I don't really want to go because of him, but my kids are looking forward to it. This last weekend we had a fight and of course he told me I wasn't going with to the waterpark. Well, half a day later he calmed down and was being nice. SO, I am so conflicted if I should go with. I don't trust him with the kids. The company has a hospitality room which is full of free booze and snacks. If I didn't go how in the world would I trust him with kids, and I'd spend the whole weekend worrying for their safety...he has never been alone with them for more than 1 night. Ugh, I think I am just overreacting. Help me Lord.

lillamy

I can't tell you what to do. I can tell you how I think I would think about it, if the man I loved and was married to was recently sober.

I think I would sit him down and say, "You are responsible for your own sobriety and recovery, and it's your choice what temptations and challenges you want to expose yourself to. We are both responsible for our children, and until you have a strong track record of sobriety even when exposed to temptations and challenges, I don't want the children going with you to events where you have to actively resist drinking unless I am there as well."

And in my mind, there's no difference between a problem drinker and an alcoholic. If alcohol creates problems when you drink it, you need help. Doesn't matter what you call it.

I don't think you're overreacting. I think you're trying to overrule your instincts when you're saying "maybe I'm overreacting." I think being concerned about your children's safety in the circumstances you're talking about is completely and utterly sane.