lillamy

Get thyself a good family lawyer. The 50/50 division of property in a divorce isn't at all cut in stone.

No doubt, it would be worth it, though. Ha. I so hear you there.

LexieCat

Here in NJ, fault has nothing to do with property division. Not sure if it affects alimony, but I believe not. All "fault" does is give you grounds for divorce without having to wait for the separation period.

isurvived

While your story is sad, and I can relate (been there too) I am applauding your resolve!
Good to hear that! :-)

In time, you will be very happy!

mfrankl6

Man you are lucky! No kids! It has been almost a year since I have been in the forum. My situation is very similar to yours. My wife has slipped so far into alcoholism its totally taken over our marriage. We have become more distant from one another than ever. I continue to tell myself I am here for my children. They really need me right now and if I just got up and left I would be abandoning them. I am a big dude and I am reserved to say there are moments when I just want to cry.

lillamy

You could take your children with you... (((hugs)))

BTB

Best not to unless you have an order from the court.

mfrankl6

My kids are 9, 14, 19! We are now living in the home I saved to buy last year my first home it was a major goal I wanted to accomplish. Even when the wife was falling short. I fear I will loose everything I worked so hard for.

Thumper

You might but you'll have your sanity in exchange.

I lost my dream home, all my retirement money, and 1/2 the possessions in the house.

But I have clear thinking, a new home without the bad memories and broken promises, security in myself and my future, and an alcoholism free environment for my children.

Worth every penny.

Carol Star

I lost my lakefront in the Blue Ridge Mts. home. I am now much happier in my basement apt. There were ducks at the old house with the Alcoholic......alot of quacking.....none now.......but I have my sanity......

MissChievous

Welcome, Dayr. You will find this site to be immensely helpful; full of some very insightful, wise people.

Kudos for your courageousness! It's the hardest thing you will probably ever do, but one day you will look back on this...probably still with disbelief, but mainly sadness. Be thankful that there are no kids being drawn into this madness...but that doesn't make it any easier for you. Hang in there and check in here often, for you are truly cared for here.

I have to comment on something Tuffgirl said regarding her finding it difficult to drink now. The same thing happened to me --- I used to enjoy a drink (or two or three!) sometimes; socially. And now, with my messed up psyche, I can't tolerate it all all. I have to force myself to get a couple of sips down --- so what's the point?!? I think the whole alcohol thing has such a bad connotation in my mind that it has just become unbearable. Makes me angry...something else I enjoyed stolen from me!

Be strong Dayr. One day at a time.

tallulah

I am so sorry.

You are worth so much more.