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Discreet Book Recommendations on Co-Dependency & Detachment?

Old 01-21-2011, 12:01 AM
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Discreet Book Recommendations on Co-Dependency & Detachment?

I was partially raised by a relative who was in CODA, so I'm quite familiar with the big, blaring, brightly colored books that scream "CODEPENDENT NO MORE!" and others like them. So instead of announcing to my fellow local library patrons that I'm a co-dependent as I scan the books through the self serve check out system, I was wondering if there were any more subdued and toned-down titles on books dealing with detachment and other relationship issues specific to co-dependency and al-anon that anyone would like to recommend. Thanks in advance, Penny.
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Old 01-21-2011, 04:44 AM
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Hi Penny,
I wish I could help, but alas, no. All the books I'm thinking of have those sorts of titles plastered on the covers, lol. Have you tried getting some of the books you want from Ebay/Amazon? Sometimes they have second hand books for sale and they're cheap. You could always keep them in a secret library of your own at home? Personally, I'm way past the point of caring what others think and I live in a small town. I suppose I can't really hide it anyway as my ex is a well known alcoholic in the area and I was with him..... Just out of curiousity, have you ever wondered what goes on behind the closed doors of your fellow library patrons? The mind boggles!
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Old 01-21-2011, 05:16 AM
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Just out of curiosity, have you ever wondered what goes on behind the closed doors of your fellow library patrons? The mind boggles!
My librarian attends Al-anon and was the one who got the Al-anon books for my local library.

I, too am past caring what other people think. I seem to remember that worrying about what other people think is codependent? My therapist used to say that to me too.
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Old 01-21-2011, 05:24 AM
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I second the idea of buying copies cheap. Put a book cover on it if you want to keep what you're reading private.
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Old 01-21-2011, 02:56 PM
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Cover them if you want. Buy them cheap from Alibris books or Half.com online.

It's what's inside the books that matter not the covers. Codependency is a term that describes certain behaviors. Not everyone is in agreement about exactly what it means. The word codependency is used and and miss used by all sorts of people. Some have no idea what the heck they are talking about. Some are in denial about their own codependent behaviors.

Don't worry about what books people see you carrying around.
You do what you need to do to take care of yourself.


Sometimes you have to feel the fear and then do it anyway.
It will make you feel powerful.
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Old 01-21-2011, 03:20 PM
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Also, don't forget places like Salvation Army, Goodwill, etc. for cheap books. The selection is hit-or-miss, but sometimes you get lucky. I love our local used book stores, too. Both DS and I can spend hours there; well as long as we're looking for books for him. (Are you done yet, Momma? Did you find one yet?)

I actually make book covers using scrap-book paper; still inexpensive but a lot prettier than the brown-bag covers ala high school.
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Old 01-21-2011, 04:03 PM
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Originally Posted by Verbena View Post
The word codependency is used and and miss used by all sorts of people. Some have no idea what the heck they are talking about. Some are in denial about their own codependent behaviors.
Thank you for bringing this up, I completely agree! I have yet to find out what it really means myself!
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Old 01-21-2011, 09:06 PM
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On top of that, if you're seen walking out of the bookstore carrying "Codependent No More," the only people who would recognize the term would be people who understand what you're going through, and won't judge.

I'll confess, I never heard the term until I met XABF, and it took awhile before I started to understand what it stood for.
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Old 01-22-2011, 09:16 AM
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You don't know what it means either?

Hmmm, let's see, that brings the count up to about one million and two of us.
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