kia

right well a few thoughts the ex has been nice for few days mask was always gonna slip wasnt it and i do know what u will all say we said friends never works they dont know how to function on that level but one small step forward i think ive made.

The abandon on the station incident a while back (which incidentally hes re written the whole story is this normal ?) and for oh i would say a little while i was almost triggered into going to prove my story but i didnt i actually changed my thinking and thought what does it matter i know what happened my HP knows what happened he knows im blameless and my conscience is clear so i let it go and didnt go trying to find the proof and guess what it wasnt mentioned again.

Then today similar story fact changing mission in fact prob if i looked on here i could find a post that describes in great detail what happened on the nite of the police incident ,cos surprise suprise thats also been changed now to justify his actions , get this he says i purposely got changed into my nite shirt after they got called to make him look bad wtf lol oh yeh i always do that how ludricous eh i was in bed actually what u normally do at nites lol

Arent they comical though the things they do well u can laugh when your at a distance i know when your in it thats not funny one little bit but im proud of myself for them two times i didnt actually spend hours going through files to find the proof thats a very small step forward too the next one will be to not be triggered in first place but think that might be large step for me anyhow xxxkia

Live

I don't understand even continuing to have these conversations, Kia.

kia

cos hes actually been ok lately quite supportive for a drinker and my al anon group that i spoke to said it has to be when im ready to cut him off completly not matter how long that takes other wise it means that instead me been controlled by him that someone else is doing if im influenced by others ive spoke to quite a few members and thats what they adverised me and the conusellors working on what i need and right now so am i maybe ill get to a point where i can say i dont need him anymore and that i need more than he can give me but im working my recovery at my pace and how i want it sorry didnt mean that nasty live know your just worried but im feeling ok atm best i have in along time cos his dramas are nowt to do with me anymore i can choose to not talk to him and its good knowing the woman hes now living with is getting all the grief i used to get off him that this morning actually didnt bother me this time which i think for me is good cos normally id stress for hours over it small steps is the way i have to go thanks live xxxkia

Live

awesome!
and I am chucling with you..you really do sound good!
Do you realize you just put appropriate boundaries in place for yourself and was nicely assertive about your path?!
That rocks, my friend!

kia

awwwww i love u too live lol xxxkia

jensday71

The re-writing of stories really can make you feel insane, can't it? Good job not sucked into that trap.

kia

ohh btw not like that dont u know lol xxkia

kia

it is common then hmm i thought so cos hes done it since we met and i used to think i was going insane cos i knew what had happened ,now i know im not its him that is, well im maybe still half nuts but im lots better lol can u be half nuts i wonder lol xxxkia

Tally

It's very common and you did the right thing by letting it go...if you didn't would he have changed his mind, realised he was wrong? Nope! No point...move on.

StarCat

He probably knows he's wrong, but thinks he can convince you otherwise.
That's how my XABF was... He always knew what he was doing was the "wrong thing," but somehow he always thought that trying to convince me it was my fault instead would make everything "all better".

You have come a long way, kia!

kia

this is the best one guys just had to share it hes apparently joined AA 8 weeks ago even though hes not been sober one day in that time and i mean pardon me but surely the point of AA is to be sober :rotfxko and to catch his out i asked him what the first step was and he got it wrong if hed been going 8 weeks it would of been ingrained that unless he was drunk the nites he went lol how stupid do they think we are eh he quoted me prob the only one he could remember from when hes dad was in them years ago and he used to go priceless isnt it lol

And he said the AA told him he doesnt need to be there as hes not a drunk , i mean god im gonna need to start writing these all down there priceless does anyone else have any things the drunks have said that are obvious lies cos these tickled me i can tell u bless him hes trying to win me back anyway he can when the obvious one get off the drink ,mind u dohhh thats prob why he made up the lie never though about that oppsss lol xxxxkia

Floss

Good on you Kia, for not justifying yourself to him. As you said, you know what happened. So does your HP. And you sound really strong! That sounds like good progress. And can you be half nuts? I'm sure I'm half, if not 3/4 nuts!

StarCat

Good for you, kia! You're catching on!

kia

i do think the longer your away from them the stronger u become cos your away from all that nuttiness and all the dramas they surround them selves with cos the longer i want away from all that the more im feeling like the real me is coming back again xxxkia