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So I went to see him in the hospital yesterday....

Old 01-25-2011, 12:30 PM
  # 61 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by MissGuided View Post
Hi Britt, thank you for your prayers.
You say bf is 31 - so has he stopped drinking as you seem to be talking about his medical issue in past tense? I hope so.

Yeah AH was told a loooong time ago that he had to stop drinking, probably late teens/early 20's. I believe that when alcohol starts effecting your liver that early, its a big warning sign that your liver cant process alcohol as well as someone elses may be able to...y'know?
I am a bartender (I know, go figure) and I have seen many heavy drinkers, alcoholics who just dont have the health problems AH did. (his 68 year old father included!)
I read somewhere that only 10-20% of heavy drinkers will develop cirhrhosis.
who knows? *sigh*
Yes, he stopped drinking on Nov 16, 2010. He spent some time in jail for his own stupidity while drinking and then went to a 30 day inpatient treatment program on Dec 12. I am thanking God for that, but it's definitely not easy.

I know, you would think that they would not take the warning lightly. Unfortunately, this disease makes you do crazy things and things like that do not seem to matter to them. They always think that it's not going to happen to them and then.. BAM it smacks them right across the face. His dad just turned 60. You can look at him and tell that he is terribly unhealthy. He has gained about 75-80 lbs in the last year.. all in his stomach. It's swollen and distended and not to mention he is so jaundice. He has had several mini strokes in the last few years, but he continues to drink non-stop. Like right now, he is sailing somewhere in the Caribbean with friends and all they do is drink from sun up til sun down. I'll never understand it completely, but I can't kill myself worrying about it all either.
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Old 01-25-2011, 12:44 PM
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Originally Posted by brittbritt40 View Post
Yes, he stopped drinking on Nov 16, 2010. He spent some time in jail for his own stupidity while drinking and then went to a 30 day inpatient treatment program on Dec 12. I am thanking God for that, but it's definitely not easy.

I know, you would think that they would not take the warning lightly. Unfortunately, this disease makes you do crazy things and things like that do not seem to matter to them. They always think that it's not going to happen to them and then.. BAM it smacks them right across the face. His dad just turned 60. You can look at him and tell that he is terribly unhealthy. He has gained about 75-80 lbs in the last year.. all in his stomach. It's swollen and distended and not to mention he is so jaundice. He has had several mini strokes in the last few years, but he continues to drink non-stop. Like right now, he is sailing somewhere in the Caribbean with friends and all they do is drink from sun up til sun down. I'll never understand it completely, but I can't kill myself worrying about it all either.
No you cant! Thats great about bf, lets hope he is one of the ones that heeds the warnings before its too late.
His father on the other hand... yeah I sometimes i dont understand how someone can ignore the blatantly obvious. ALcohol is crazy and ya just cant make sense of crazy!
People keep asking me 'why didnt just he stop if he knew he could die'?

Alot of people just dont buy into the 'its a disease' theory. Alcoholism is such a complex thing to understand
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Old 01-25-2011, 06:29 PM
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Originally Posted by MissGuided View Post
OMG Lexie what are you doing to these poor guys! lol!
You should have your own lifetime movie!!!
Heh, what can I say.

I'm thinking of having a warning label tattooed on my forehead. SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Dating this woman may be hazardous to your health. Possible health hazards include acute liver failure, heart failure, and testicular cancer. Other risks include digestive upset due to poor cooking, asthma due to excessive dust in the home, and skin irritation due to sporadic laundering of clothing.
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Old 01-26-2011, 08:12 PM
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Originally Posted by LexieCat View Post
Heh, what can I say.

I'm thinking of having a warning label tattooed on my forehead. SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: Dating this woman may be hazardous to your health. Possible health hazards include acute liver failure, heart failure, and testicular cancer. Other risks include digestive upset due to poor cooking, asthma due to excessive dust in the home, and skin irritation due to sporadic laundering of clothing.


oh you forgot to say 'the uninsured need not apply'' hehe
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Old 01-26-2011, 08:23 PM
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Oh I am so effing mad at him today!

I was talking to him on the phone this evening and all he did was complain, that nobody came to see him today. doctors or visitors . period. I know doctors went in to see him today as I talked to one. he had 7 visitors yesterday including myself! There is a big snow storm going on where we are so I am not surprised that no one got up there today.
and that 'these people' keep waking me up- i remind him that 'these people' are looking after him and hes not in a hotel
'This heart monitor is bothering me' 'I cant sleep.'

And I just thought you selfish f'er.
I have been on the phone all day to doctors, and insurance companies while at work (as I had to work as I havent worked since all this happened.)
It just makes me wonder - jeez has he really changed - can he?
I mean he should be thankful to be alive right now!!
Is he still in the whole alcoholic ME ME ME thing?

because this does not give me much confidence for the future
or am i reading too much into it and hes just sick, uncomfortable, in pain, scared, etc......
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Old 01-27-2011, 06:48 AM
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It's probably all of the above. I mean, think about it. You're lying in a hospital bed 24/7 for days on end. You know your own actions put you there. You might be dying, but you have to try to push the facts around in your head because the thought of it all is too much to bear. Nobody seems to know too much about what the future holds for you, and there's not much you can do about ANYTHING as long as you are there.

Think you might get a little cranky, feel a little sorry for yourself, take it out a bit on other people?

I know it's frustrating, but try not to take it personally. He's not able to feel any gratitude right now, though he may very well at some later point.

Big hugs, I know how YOU feel!
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Old 01-29-2011, 12:26 PM
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Hi MissGuided - Haven't checked in on this site in a long time, but I saw your story and just wanted you to know that while I have nothing to contribute, you and your family are in my thoughts. Take care of yourself.
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Old 01-29-2011, 01:34 PM
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Originally Posted by ConfusedNC View Post
Hi MissGuided - Haven't checked in on this site in a long time, but I saw your story and just wanted you to know that while I have nothing to contribute, you and your family are in my thoughts. Take care of yourself.


Its the not knowing that is the hardest, I accept he has cirrhosis, but I cant start accepting anything else, as the doctors are just not SURE of anything else. his whilte blood cell count is very high, indicating an infection which thay cant even find
very frustrating.

Thank you for your thoughts
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Old 01-29-2011, 06:45 PM
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I just wanted to say that I am here for you. I am the 21 year old daughter of 2 alcoholics, and a drug addict myself. My father put himself into the hospital in november after I begged him to go get help after not speaking to him for nearly 2 years while living in the same house. He was told that he had a fatty liver and had to stop drinking... unfortunately, he only stayed sober for a month.
I know that your situation is a very scary one... Stay strong MG! Above all, take care of yourself and your children, because no matter what he decides to do, you need to be there for them and they'll be there for you even if they don't understand whats going on.
((((((HUGS))))))) Best wishes!
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Old 01-29-2011, 10:54 PM
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Hi MG,

Lexie is so right - he's not able to feel gratitude right now. Nor is he able to appreciate all the efforts of those around him. When I was with my AH in the hospital, I slept there most days on a cot, the staff was AMAZING and always wanting to find comfort for me, coffee, food, etc. My AH - was terrible,wanted to leave, went toe-to-toe with me demanding his clothes, and only settled down when he thought the cops came (hospital security). If he would have walked out - our insurance would not have paid the bill. We feel these feelings but the alcoholics cannot - not right now.

I know how tough it is to be in your shoes right now. Can you get him into an inpatient treatment program? The docs and I made my husband go directly from the hospital to treatment. It's the best 3+ weeks he could have right now. If he's truly waiting for a transplant - he must remain sober.

As always ... thinking of you and wishing you comfort and peace!!
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