theuncertainty

Inspired by my recent attempts to keep a journal to sort out what I’m thinking, how it affects my emotions, and just trying to name how I’m feeling. (And by L2L’s “If You Don’t Marry Them..." thread.)

So I’m going to try to do this without using the 4 main descriptions (angry, afraid, depressed/sad, happy) and without judging myself for feeling them. Any one else who wants to take part in this little exercise and fill in their own blanks is welcome.


Today I feel…

Exasperated – DS’s particularities with how he puts on his winter gear takes soooo long. I do it too and have been known to take off my coat to put it back on if my shirt sleeves get bunched up.

Resentful – Why does XAH get rewarded with having all of the weekends which are for fun and I continue to have to do all the work like making sure DS gets to school on time, lunches made, bills are paid, baths are taken, clothes are washed, all the grown up things.

Capable – I can handle any project thrown at me at work and I can handle being a single Mom and I can do both very, very well.

stella27

really frustrated and kind of despondent. Lonely.

I can do this single-mothering gig, but it's so unfair and I am meeting with hostility when I set boundaries.

thanks for making me put words to it.

barb dwyer

... stoked!
I paid off my car today!
I feel like ... well, like some major part of myself is ... back.

Self-sufficiency, I think.
That's just how *my* day is going.

Nobody can take my car from me.
It's mine.
All mine.

BWAHAHAHAHAAaaaaaaa!

The proud owner of a thousand dollar car!

theuncertainty

Helpless - a dear friend just told me that her 14 yo grandson has cancer of the bone - osteosarcoma - and is looking at the start of a 10 week chemo treatment, surgery and then 14 more weeks of chemo and then possibly more surgery

Contemptuous / disgusted - remembered XAH lied about having cancer as a ploy to get me to come back. How dare he when there are other people - little kids - out there dealing with this for real.

Bewildered - I am again making everything about him

Learn2Live

OK, so the idea is to NOT use the words "angry, afraid, depressed/sad, or happy"?

OK, well, today I feel frustrated about some things I have been trying to help my parents with but have run into another obstacle. I think I need to instead find patience.

Am I doing this right Uncertainty?

lillamy

I found this list, that's similar to one I've used with my kids.
List of Feeling Words
It gives you more "specific" words under the headings of the "usual suspect" feeling words that we tend to group everything together under.

I feel free: I just had an e-mail exchange with RAXH without tensing up. Every day gets easier.

I feel calm and certain: My life is going in the right direction -- maybe not at the speed I would like, but it's going.

I feel excited: About all the new possibilities in my life.

StarCat

Lost - G finally broke "no contact" and sent me an email claiming he's been working his 12 steps and he's learned so much, he was in a massive car accident on Sunday two weeks ago, the car is still in the shop, but he is in work for the first time this year today. (I only truly believe the part after the "but").

Jaded - I wish I could believe him, the car accident wouldn't be unheard of considering his drinking habits, but I don't even believe that part.

Loved - I mentioned to a co-worker about this whole affair, and he's already getting a posse together to get G his things from my car so that I don't have to talk to him, and he won't know I have a new car.

Resentful - How dare he send me backwards. How dare I allow him. How dare everything turn into all about G again.

Calm - The whole frustrated cycle only lasted 5 minutes, so I am better, just not fixed. Now I can go focus on me again.

theuncertainty

Yep, L2L.

Thanks, Lillamy. I've bookmarked the link you gave. It will definitely help!

Thumper

Well thank god - now I can participate. I've been avoiding this thread. It is hard - which is a sign I should not avoid.

I'm still staying away from LTD's thread, lol.

So today I feel..

A sense of loss - it was hard to think back to when we I got married and the qualities I appreciated in my xah then.

Accepting - that this is life. Not always perfect, but I'm OK. It is actually a positive feeling in my book

whereisthisgoin

Today I feel
a. miserable - knowing I should divorce my A since he's not willing to stop drinking, only willing to cut down. I never thought I'd be divorced.
b. blue - thinking of how I will miss members of his family - and our family!
c. apprehensive - while his drinking is way down, I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop
d.hopeful - that our relationship is going to get to a resolution soon. I can feel myself getting stronger and knowing what is right.
e.confident that tomorrow will be a better day

Babyblue

Today I feel....

Calm because I chose to not do anything on my day off.

Eager to commit to finishing things I need to do.

I also feel somewhat jaded as well about life, family and how that sometimes goes against finding your true happiness.

But I also feel strong today. I can't explain why but like a fog is lifting and I see I have more control than I think about my life.


that's all she wrote

wicked

I am inspired and eager to learn about Buddhism.
I am irritated that my friend did not call and he said he would.

I feel loved and inspired because my daughter said she loved me and I am a good mother. Add warm and touched to that. (she doesnt emote about me much )

In this moment I feel free and satisfied.

Beth

skippernlilg

Today I feel accomplished since I finished a boatload of homework,

and a little tired since I finished that same boatload of homework,

and enthusiasticabout tomorrow so I can hand in my boatload of homework.

tjp613

Today I feel
anxious - about my daughter's emotional health issues
hopeless - that I can't do what I'd really like to do until the above issue is resolved
lazy - well, that's self-explanatory!
excited - for my best girlfriends to come over on Friday night for a mu-mu party!

Learn2Live

Ooh, I really liked yours TJP.
What's a mu-mu party?

Tuffgirl

Great thread!
Today I feel... good! For the first time in 2 weeks, I don't regret moving my family out, standing up for what I want in a marriage, & making him face his issues in his lonely house all by himself. I didn't like that house anyway.
Today I feel...rested! I have had two nights of continuous sleep. Phew. I thought about resorting to Ambien but was afraid of driving around naked and not knowing it!
Today I feel...accepting. This is my reality. And it's not so bad after all. That's a great feeling!

tjp613

Well, in my world there is nothing better than sitting around with my best girlfriends in a comfortable setting with a glass or two of wine and some good food....and chocolate....lots of chocolate.

So I came up with this idea of a totally stress-free party, centered around the idea of comfort and laughter. The rules are that you have to wear a mu-mu, sweats, pj's, or yoga pants and an old t-shirt. Make-up is frowned upon, as are bras. Shoes are left at the door. You bring your own wine and all the food is very no-frills. Order a pan of lasagna, throw together a salad, heat up some frozen garlic bread. There are bowls of chocolate EVERYWHERE. We play games and gossip and a prize is awarded for the most comfortable looking "outfit" (meaning oldest, most faded T-shirt and baggy pants).

How can you go wrong?

theuncertainty

tjp, I love the mu-mu party idea!

wicked

i think mu mu parties sound like an excellent idea.
i would have to drink foamy sweet coffee drinks, bring my own machine.
and we must (well, me and L2L) have 60's and 70's southern rock!

FREE BIRD!
<holds up lit lighter>

Beth

wicked

yeah, driving around naked is not good, especially in alaska!
and it will get better tuffgirl.
you sound strong and free.
excellent.

Beth