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QUACKERs....

Old 12-10-2011, 10:05 AM
  # 281 (permalink)  
Trudging that road.
 
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SPF 80 proof

If you've ever woken up with a sunburn on the roof of your mouth...you might be an alcoholic!
---John W.
Quack Quack
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Old 01-11-2012, 04:33 PM
  # 282 (permalink)  
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This is a few I got a couple of days ago after my husband relapsed:

-I don't know why I drank, I didn't even want to do it.
-If you had come with me like I wanted I wouldn't have drank and got in a fight and now have broken ribs.
-God is punishing me

sigh........
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Old 01-11-2012, 05:06 PM
  # 283 (permalink)  
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"The reason I go to the bar after work and drink and don't want to come home is because you won't sew any of my buttons on my shirts like my mother used to." I swear this is a true statement that came out of his mouth. I guess he ran out of anything else to blame me for.
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Old 01-11-2012, 05:08 PM
  # 284 (permalink)  
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I order 2-3 beers at the beginning of dinner because I like to let them warm up a little.
-or-
I'm only ordering a pitcher so you can have some honey (I don't drink except in rare, teeny amounts)
-or-
I'm saving the waitress time by ordering all my [always 2-3 minimum] drinks now.....Waitress! Can you bring me another?
-or-
It was such a good sale on [booze/wine/champagne/beer] that I HAD to buy it! Look how much I saved!
-or-
Having my own keggerator in my own fully stocked personal bar in my own home helps me to drink less.
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Old 01-11-2012, 05:47 PM
  # 285 (permalink)  
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But you complete me! What will I do without you? QUACK< QUACK< QUACK AKA pay my bills, make sure I have money, gas and food.

As he cracks a beer with my two DS in the car, We were on back roads I didn't think it would matter. (At least I was driving)

After he has not had a drink in 6 MONTHS. I need a beer! Only a NA one. How can you need a non-alcoholic beer?
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Old 01-26-2012, 12:37 PM
  # 286 (permalink)  
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Aaaaa reminds me of the final quack before I was done for good 3 weeks ago
"why are you so upset and angry with me?" this being said in a how dare you feel that way and in total shock that I would feel that way.
He has used that quack the most probably be ause it always got an insane reaction out of me....but not anymore. It gets a quack laugh attack now.
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Old 01-26-2012, 12:42 PM
  # 287 (permalink)  
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Had to respond to this one...It use to work like a charm on me. "I'm just meant to be alone," or "god must want me to be alone" what a quack of poop.
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Old 01-26-2012, 06:15 PM
  # 288 (permalink)  
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I may have posted this one before..I don't remember but I heard this one right before I my final exams and exit exams (major life changing events)

this was in a phone conversation...
RAH: I have a lot of resentments toward you and the kids and I think that's why I drank.
ME: REally? Like what?
RAH: Well Son#1 never takes out the trash..
(I just about spit my coke all over my car on that one...)
ME: (after coughing and choking back my laughter)...and ..? what about me?
RAH: I resent you for not making me quit sooner.


Yup that MUST be it.
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Old 01-26-2012, 06:28 PM
  # 289 (permalink)  
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Said to me many a time by ex AH as I sat stone cold sober watching him EMBARASS himself while drunk. This was among many of his go to remarks when I'd mention his drinking or inebriated state.

"you're drunk not me & that's why you're so delusional"
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Old 01-26-2012, 06:37 PM
  # 290 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by FindingJoy View Post
Had to respond to this one...It use to work like a charm on me. "I'm just meant to be alone," or "god must want me to be alone" what a quack of poop.
I have heard this too many times to count.
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Old 01-27-2012, 08:20 AM
  # 291 (permalink)  
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xABF: i feel so much better now that i'm not drinking

(said, with pint in hand, standing in a bar)

me: um, you're drinking right now
xABF: no, i'm not drinking. that's only my forth pint
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Old 01-27-2012, 08:44 AM
  # 292 (permalink)  
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I just heard this one the other day. My STXAH, who is living with another woman, says that he actually has cut down on drinking because he has no one that is pressuring him either way. Mind you, this is 15 minutes after he was seen at the liquor store! Yes, he has cut down from beer to whiskey because you drink less whiskey to get the effects from it! LOL
:rotfxko
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Old 01-27-2012, 09:20 AM
  # 293 (permalink)  
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"I have been sober for 3 days, I'm not an alcoholic anymore"

wow-should I be doing cartwheels? really? Let me know when you are a year sober. That's worth something.
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Old 01-27-2012, 09:58 AM
  # 294 (permalink)  
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These are really priceless!! Where else and from who else would you hear these kinds of statements? The topper has got to be from wanttobehealthy saying her A told her that SHE was the one that was drunk and delusional. lol
As Findingjoy said -"What a quack of poop." I have to remember that one.
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Old 01-27-2012, 10:27 AM
  # 295 (permalink)  
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From my AH recently (we are separated; he still loves his booze):

Him: "My 50th birthday is coming up soon. I'd like to have a party." (Translation: I want you to throw me a party)
Me: Well, I don't think that's in the cards right now. (Trying hard not to laugh)
Him: Well, that's OK, because it couldn't be the party I'D like to have anyway.

A few days later...

Him: I talked to my friend. He said that when he turned 50, he had, like, SEVERAL parties all month long! So that is what I am going to do. He is going to host a little party for me.
Me: (Thinking...said friend is a wine buff but not an alcoholic. Wine will be the focus of the entire party) "Well, have a great time!"
Him: I'd love for you to go!
Me: (Thinking...."yeah, over my dead body!") "Well, I don't think that's in the cards right now..."
Him: I wish we could have fun together again!

QUACK! QUACK! QUACK!
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Old 01-27-2012, 07:00 PM
  # 296 (permalink)  
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Well my friends...even in recovery they quack. even if they aren't actively drinking they quack...my example:

RAH: Hey is there anything on my back? (as he turns around so I can see the back of his jacket).
ME: yeah, what are all those burn marks...
RAH: me and the boys were shooting bottle rockets at each other.
ME: (with a stunned look) That can't be safe. Your supposed to be the grown up and not let them do things like that.
RAH: You never let us have ANY fun!

and this was just on new yrs eve....18 mos into recovery. Yup still can't be trusted to keep my kids safe...just in a whole new way now!
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Old 01-27-2012, 07:33 PM
  # 297 (permalink)  
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The quack lines I've Hearn so many times that I even knew when their about to come out of his mouth (past tense RExAB of just 3 weeks):

"I didn't intend to _______ " fill it in with hurt you, lie to you, forget you were have a medical procedure, etc...

"why are you upset and mad at me? (said in a how dare u tone)"

"I only drink wine"

"expensive wine has less alcohol in it then cheap wine"

"I know you have hear me say this before but this time it's different"

"I'm no good you deserve better" (wait that's not a quack that's true Ha Ha)
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Old 01-28-2012, 04:38 PM
  # 298 (permalink)  
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just had to do it....*teehee*
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Old 01-29-2012, 10:30 AM
  # 299 (permalink)  
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Said when he was in a drunken rage .................................


"What worse? verbal abuse or sleeping alone?"

"I would put up with you screaming and yelling at me all day, if you would have sex with me, why isn't it the same for you?

"Who are you going to blame for your miserable life, once I'm gone?"



Well, duh:rotfxko
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Old 01-29-2012, 10:47 AM
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Sorry, those weren't really quackers, just needed to get it off my chest................

But I did always get ............"I can't drink around you, that's why I go out and don't come home, if I stayed home I would just fight with you"

"This is my last beer....................until my next"
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