Dating a recovering alcoholic
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Central O-H-I-O
Posts: 1,689
Originally Posted by LexieCat 
Guys, this is a thread from 2011.
Doubt the OP (and many other posters) are around to read it.
Doubt the OP (and many other posters) are around to read it.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 127
Relationships are about compromise. If you wanted to date a guy who you knew was a big drinker then there was a good chance problems would arise and your life would come with some big compromises right?
So now he's gotten sober - this is terrific! There are people in Alanon who would give a limb to have their A get sober. A small request like this surely can't be too troublesome unless you need alcohol in your house??
You are right that the A should get to a place where he is neutral to alcohol and is safe and protected by God but that doesn't happen until he goes thru the 12 steps and is working the latter steps for whatever length of time is required for him. Given that he's still in his first year of sobriety you should be patient. If he never gets around to working those steps then you'll have to re-assess. By working the steps I mean going straight thru the work in the big book, all of it.
Best
So now he's gotten sober - this is terrific! There are people in Alanon who would give a limb to have their A get sober. A small request like this surely can't be too troublesome unless you need alcohol in your house??
You are right that the A should get to a place where he is neutral to alcohol and is safe and protected by God but that doesn't happen until he goes thru the 12 steps and is working the latter steps for whatever length of time is required for him. Given that he's still in his first year of sobriety you should be patient. If he never gets around to working those steps then you'll have to re-assess. By working the steps I mean going straight thru the work in the big book, all of it.
Best
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