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OT: Online Dating and giving out your phone number

Old 01-13-2011, 03:22 PM
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OT: Online Dating and giving out your phone number

What is everyone else's policy on giving out your phone number when talking through an online dating site?

I've put a couple of ads up on the popular sites and so far the guys seem pushy about getting a phone number within only 1-2 emails that really contain no significant conversation. I'm annoyed. I'd like to chat a little first before I decide if I want this total stranger having my phone number.
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Old 01-13-2011, 03:24 PM
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I haven't done online dating and don't have a policy, but if I did, it would be: HELL. NO.
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Old 01-13-2011, 03:45 PM
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Never Ever do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable.
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Old 01-13-2011, 05:03 PM
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That seems like a great way to weed out people! Pushy? Ahh, no.
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Old 01-13-2011, 05:08 PM
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I can't believe how pushy some of them are. I tell them I'm not interested in giving out my phone number to strangers and they just ask again. Forget that!! Gee I can already see the future...everytime I say no they just push to get their way.
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Old 01-13-2011, 05:09 PM
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I used to do the online dating thing, years ago. I met some really nice guys, but I also met some real jerks. I waited until I had chatted with them online and through email for at least a couple of months before I was willing to give out my phone number. You really need to be very careful about the information you share. You may not even realize you are doing it, but just in common conversation you can give clues and flat out direct information on where you live, shop, work, etc.

I was thinking about this and it might be worth it to get a pay as you go phone to use exclusively for the purpose of talking to the guys you are interested in. That way, they won't have your main number and as you weed them out, you can block them from further contact. Just a thought, but please, be careful!
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Old 01-13-2011, 05:10 PM
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I never give my home or cell number out to anyone online, I have a skype number for that
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Old 01-13-2011, 05:35 PM
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Online Dating

I have met a few men through online dating and it was pretty much always the same that they wanted to talk on the phone pretty soon after contact. The best thing to do is to get their phone number and then phone them with your number blocked so that it doesn't show up if they have call display. I personally prefer to speak with someone by phone because you can tell quite a lot through a phone conversation as opposed to emails or messaging which can be edited and carefully composed. I met a couple of quite decent men thru online dating, but I also met a few who I never wanted any further contact with. When it comes to the face to face meeting I always meet at a very public place and never anywhere isolated. Also I do not ever let them know where I live until I am very comfortable, however, I am no longer online dating. I recently realized that it isn't a relationship that I am looking for right now and not sure when I will again. Online dating is OK but mostly it's the same old, same old story, men looking for someone to do their thing and not too interested in my interests. Have fun but be very, very cautious !
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Old 01-13-2011, 05:45 PM
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This is certainly not adding to the conversation

but ...
(lol= as if that'd stop me, huh?)

I've seen too many movies.
I wouldn't be able to date online.
Just reading about it creeps me out...
not creepy yuck but
creepy - scary.

You're braver than I !
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Old 01-13-2011, 05:48 PM
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A cell phone doesn't give your location. I gave out my cell to someone I emailed with 40 times first. Landline # came later.
No pic on the dating site either. Only interested in chat, emailing. Didn't even put interested in dating. I really didn't put myself out there. If nothing happened at all, I was even ok with that.
Onto week 4--we'll see how it goes.
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Old 01-14-2011, 08:14 AM
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Sometime people forget that they are on dating websites so they can go on dates.
I would say most of the women I dated I met online. I'm not on those sites so I can do endless email correspondence with someone. I don't believe you can tell much about a person unless you meet them face to face, so we exchange a couple of emails, maybe chat online for a little while, then switch to phone so we can set-up a date. I usually give out my phone first and the woman then feels more comfortable giving mine.
If I see someone is being too apprehensive and doesn't seem to want to meet, just to exchange endless emails, I move on, plenty of fish in the sea.

I would assume it's harder for women, because there a lot more male jerks out there, but unless the guy is being blatantly offensive on his emails, there's not really any way to tell if he's a jerk or not unless you meet him face to face.
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Old 01-14-2011, 08:19 AM
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Yeah but I can't even get one email exchange out of some of them. If we don't have similar interests and goals, I'm not about to waste my time yakking on the phone or meeting them.
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Old 01-14-2011, 10:17 AM
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Gotta ask, what type of person do you think you'll attract at this point in your life?
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Old 01-14-2011, 10:22 AM
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I met my fiance via online dating. I don't recall how soon I gave him my number but I do know we chatted via video chat for 3 to 4 months before I would even meet him.

Like someone else said ..... never do anything that makes you uncomfortable. If you tell someone you don't give your number out and they're a jerk about it ..... well, screw them anyway, right?!
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Old 01-14-2011, 10:28 AM
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I don't know if you get these, but I've got an unregistered sim that I can put in a spare handset. It was free. There's no way of getting an address out of it. If I wanted to chat with someone and weed out the obvious nutters, I could use that. Anyone becomes a pest I could bin the sim card and get a new free unregistered one.

But you don't have to give out any info you're not comfortable with -

Sometime people forget that they are on dating websites so they can go on dates.
sometimes people forget that women have entirely different safety concerns than men.
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Old 01-14-2011, 10:38 AM
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Hi!

I've done the online dating thing off and on over the years...some sites are better than others. I keep going back because I have been to a number of weddings that resulted in them. I also think where you live influences the quality of the pool. In NYC online dating started a long time ago and the culture here is condusive to it.

That said. I think SailorJohn has a point...what type of person are you looking for and perhaps why are you looking?

I know I took a peek at Match.com a few weeks ago and there were almost no men who said the did not drink at all. I could see myself with someone who drank rarely but that's about it. When I was on checking things out a guy contacted me...we had a lot in common and he suggested meeting....for drinks...despite the fact that I don't drink. Bad sign...didn't meet him.

Besides...I only have 6 months, I am not interested in actively looking...should Mr. Wonderful fall into my lap that would be a different story, but for now, I am focused on me and my recovery
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Old 01-14-2011, 10:58 AM
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I have used a Majic Jack phone number. You can pick them up at the big box stores now. You get a number that runs off your internet service. It slowed down my computer some when I had it plugged in. If I didn't want to take your calls, I didn't plug it in.

I also recommend getting their number first. Then you can use your cell to call them and block your number by using *67

Good luck
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Old 01-14-2011, 11:57 AM
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Originally Posted by LaFemme View Post
That said. I think SailorJohn has a point...what type of person are you looking for and perhaps why are you looking?
I think you missed the point I was trying to make, mine was more of a rhetorical question.

'Matching mental illnesses', I can have these women pick me out of a crowd, or if I'm so inclined, I can pick them.

Now if I'm just looking to get laid-pardon the vulgarity-I don't need an online dating service. For now, think my best bet is to stick to the personal growth thing, and leave the relationships thing on the back burner.
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Old 01-14-2011, 01:02 PM
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I've done the online dating off an on for probably the last 10 yrs, I used to meet lots of men who drank as much as I did....I never had any problems. 1 of the first people I met we had spent probably 2 months emailing and I was falling for him then we finally talked and met and he was not at all like the person he'd been in his emails I didn't care for him in person....so after that I never wasted time emailing because I think people can be less deceitful in person than online. Usually after 1-2 emails I'd give them my # and after 1-2 long conversation I usually agree to meet (as long as we hit it off via phone) but only in a very public place and only during daylight hours. If you're cautious it's no more risky than if you met the person at the library or grocery store.
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Old 01-14-2011, 03:28 PM
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If someone can't respect that you don't want to give your phone number right now do you really want to carry on?
If he doesn't respect that then he isn't going to respect much more is he, really?
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