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Cyranoak 01-13-2011 12:06 AM

I taught high school for seven years, have been in Al-Anon for eight years, have a child in 9th grade, and have several nieces and nephews who were homeschooled. Based on that experience I would say this-- Absolutely do not homeschool your kids because they hate school or want to be homeschooled (their reasons). It's codependant enabling in my opinion. Absolutely do homeschool your kids if you want to homeschool your kids and believe it's the right decision (your reasons). That's making a decison because you think it's best, not codependancy.

There are a ton of resources out there to help you do this well, and as Noday pointed out you can homeschool and socialize your kids too-- it's not mutually exclusive. I'd add that my nieces and nephews all chose to go to public high schools, but were homeschooled up to that point. All good kids.

Take what you want and leave the rest.

Cyranoak

escape artist 01-13-2011 06:35 AM

thanks everyone, much to think about. I realize the commitment part of it, but I work from my home now and do not know if this is something I can work around my schedule or if it is something that I would need to be a full time stay at home mom/teacher. I have heard that they can do the work part in much less time than a typical school day and i have always questioned what the heck they do in school all day, because it doesn't seem like much around all the pep rallies and movies......thanks Cyranoak, i see what you mean about the codie thing, and i don't want to do that either. what gets me about the one child of mine is that she is doing great in math and science, yet failing reading and history! so i am thinking, ok, it is not that she has a learning disability...and would tend to blame the teachers for perhaps marginalizing her because she is not "out there" you know, jumping out of her seat to answer the questions. i struggle with if she flunks, then i could take her out and home school her and put her back in after i get her back on the track....but at her grade level , 7th, i am told it is a rather critical time for kids and their development regarding how they acclimate to a more rigorous academic climate in prep for high school. but then again, i agonize over whether i put her in school too soon and that is why she struggles.

would it be an eye opener to say her older sister is an "a" student?

findingpeace that just kills me and i can see "big brother" all over that. ugh! no wonder the kids come home demoralized and angry and rude......

invisigoth 01-13-2011 06:42 AM

1 Attachment(s)
My cousins in Texas were all home schooled and they all seem like weird little Rod & Todds to me. I think there some social skills that can only be learned by going to real school with other kids.

FindingPeace1 01-13-2011 09:07 AM

I'm not saying homeschooled kids always fit in with schooled kids.
Sometimes they don't.
I think its best if homeschooled kids are socialized with schooled and homeschooled kids.

I hear cyranoak's feelings, and yet, if your kid hates school (as I did) and you listen to them and try something different...still expecting them to engage and learn...is that really enabling? Or is that appropriately responding to their needs? School isn't for every child. If your child would thrive at home, I just can't see that as dysfunctional.

My husband woud say, "Kids need to learn they don't get what they want and they have to do what they are told."
Well, in my opinion, I think that is cr*p. I'd rather teach kids that life is engaging and full of wonderful things to learn and they can learn and grow and be challenged and not hate life and the environment education happens in.

That's just my 2 cents. :)

Hadassah 01-13-2011 09:38 AM

I didn't read all of the other posters comments due to lack of time this morning, but I did want to give you my 2 cents. I have 3 teens, and they are all HS'd. All but the oldest have never gone to any kind of "school." The point of socialization is such a joke to most homeschoolers ( no disrepect intended) because most hsers are very socialized. My oldest plays basketball and is at pratice at least once a week, and the other two are in 4-H right now, and we also have a Coop that they attend every week, to take classes and see their friends. We also go to church and they are active in the youth group. They have sleep overs, boy scouts, parties, drill team ect.... I sometimes think we have too much socialization. As adults do we "play" all day,every day? Nope. I see my friends once a week at a sewing group I attend. I also have a quilt quild meeting I go to once a month. I sometimes speak on the phone (once a week) to a friend. My kids are home during the day for school, and then in the evening/weekends they have their social time,and activities, pretty much like most adults.
They are not pushed into all the peer pressure stuff, but they are still normal teens. My girls do not wear makeup, but that is because I don't let them. They do go on FB, have cell phones, go to movies, ect.... Please do not decide to not hs because of this issue. There are so many benifits to it, but I have to say that it is not for everyone, and I never would look down on anyone becuse they don't hs, but I have had plenty of people make remarks, sneer at us, and be dissaproving because I do hs. They don't even bother to get to know us before they deem us stuck up or think that we feel that we are better than others. We don't. So look into it, maybe give it a try, and if you need to speak to me, please feel free to contact me. gina

johnnymau 01-13-2011 02:12 PM


Originally Posted by theuncertainty (Post 2828103)

So I probably sound like a walking advertisement for Waldorf, but I love our school!

Just wanted to echo what theuncertainly said: my wife and I chose Waldorf for our two boys, and really love it too, for all of the same reasons!

lillamy 01-13-2011 03:24 PM

I have a bit of a different take on Waldorf -- because my experience hasn't been quite as sunny...

I find a lot of "group consequences" in "our" Waldorf school. It's been explained to me that it's "community building" when the entire class is punished for something one kid did, and it "encourages the class as a whole to behave better." (Not to my daughter -- her take on it is, "so it doesn't matter how much you try to behave, you still get punished as if you hadn't, so you might as well goof off and at least get to have the fun you're going to get punished for one way or the other.)

I'm having more and more of a hard time with the discrepancy between the talk ("we respect the individual") and the walk ("if Tim throws foot at lunch, the entire class loses recess privileges" or "refusing to participate in a group activity at recess means you get sent to the principal's office for being disruptive to the class").

I know this might only be "our" Waldorf school -- but I just wanted to sound a warning alarm that, as always, don't trust the advertising until you've seen the quality of the merchandise...

theuncertainty 01-13-2011 04:01 PM


Originally Posted by lillamy (Post 2829539)
I'm having more and more of a hard time with the discrepancy between the talk ("we respect the individual") and the walk ("if Tim throws foot at lunch, the entire class loses recess privileges" or "refusing to participate in a group activity at recess means you get sent to the principal's office for being disruptive to the class").

I know this might only be "our" Waldorf school -- but I just wanted to sound a warning alarm that, as always, don't trust the advertising until you've seen the quality of the merchandise...

I definitely agree. Not every school within a given program is the same as the next. Just look at the public school system for the largest example. They all have basically the same requirements, same tests, same standards to meet, but there are so many differences over how they acheive those goals; by the standards the different teachers hold themselves to. Which is a reason why there is a lottery system for when families want to move their kids to a certain school when they don't live in the neighborhood. (Oh! which may be another option, Escape!)

I haven't had this problem with 'our' Waldorf school; we've been there 2.5 years (2 years of preschool and now Kindergarten, which is different than the grades, but....). I wholeheartedly recommend visiting the school (checking out the homeschooling program) if you're considering moving you're kids to an optional program within the public school system or 'alternative' school method. Each one is different. Just because 'our' Waldorf is a wonderful program, filled with dedicated teachers and administrators, doesn't mean that all of them are. (Sorry for missing that angle.)

hps 01-13-2011 05:10 PM

Both of my kids are home schooled - they are 13 and 9. I think the main advantage is they love it & they are learning a lot more than if they were at school. The main disadvantage is that it is a lot of work.

My wife has handled most of the work (ranging from finding tutors, finding play dates, to getting them to write properly when they have no interest in doing so), although I do manage the math and some of the science. I think we're getting great kids out of this, but you really need to think about whether you can handle the work!

FreeingMyself 01-13-2011 05:44 PM

I also am a teacher, and I have had MANY homeschooled kids transfer into my class. Granted I teach elementary, so the social aspect and growth of kids is huge. I have notice that the majority of my homeschool kids are behind. I am certainly NOT saying it can't be done, but I think it requires a HUGE commitment from the parents. It makes me very sad to hear that you are having a rought time with some teachers....there are good ones and bad ones....good luck in making your decision!

CircleInTheSea 01-14-2011 01:24 PM

I think Homeschooling is a great option, but as many have said, it really depends on your kids and if it's a good fit for them. Some books to look into
The Imperfect Homeschooler's Guide to Homeschooling
So Why do you Homeschool?

The Unschooling Unmanual
MDC Homeschool Page (Very Crunchy- but you gotta love it ;), lol)
K-12 Public School online

Hope this info helps :)

CircleInTheSea 01-14-2011 01:29 PM


Originally Posted by CircleInTheSea (Post 2830747)
I think Homeschooling is a great option, but as many have said, it really depends on your kids and if it's a good fit for them. Some books to look into
The Imperfect Homeschooler's Guide to Homeschooling
So Why do you Homeschool?

The Unschooling Unmanual
MDC Homeschool Page (Very Crunchy- but you gotta love it ;), lol)
K-12 Public School online

Hope this info helps :)

On a side note, the people who wrote 'The Imperfect Homeschooler's Guide' also wrote a workbook called Life Prep for Homeschooled Teenagers
This book should be required reading for the whole of the species. It has exercises on how to find an apartment, understand credit, understand MONEY, how to budget, etc. Even if you don't homeschool, consider getting it and going through it with your kids :)


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