matrix

My mom is a long time alcoholic, who mostly maintains and functions ok, but periodically binge drinks. The binges last anywhere from 3 - 10 days usually. She drinks straight vodka round the clock and is completely out of her mind. She doesn't eat, can't take care of herself and injures herself falling. She is 77 and has never been in treatment and refuses to consider stopping.

My 81 year old dad has been living with her and he acts as her caretaker, when this happens. So there has been someone there with her.
He had a stroke 5 weeks ago and she functioned ok, while he was in rehab and for a couple of weeks after he came home.

This past Tuesday, she went off on a binge. My sister, who lives near them, has taken my father to her home, so he is safe. BTW My parents and sister live in RI; I live in CA. When my sister went to the house last night to pick up some things for my dad, my mother was totally drunk, barely able to walk and impossible to communicate with...none of us have heard from her today and she is not answering the phone.

We are thinking that we have to take action but are struggling with what to do and we don't really know what the options are....

Can we call 911? If we do, what happens? Are there other options?

Obviously, there is a lot of history here. My sister and I are really struggling with violating the family policy of enabling and ignoring mom's drinking. However, we are clear that we have to do something. My mom is not safe alone and my dad is not safe with her.

Any advice appreciated......

nodaybut2day

If you suspect that something may have happened to her, then yes, 911 is the way to go. They are professionals trained to properly assess the situation. I imagine that should they come and find your mother drunk and injured, she would be taken into the hospital for treatment and/or evaluation. However, I'm not certain about the legalities of being drunk in one's own home...seems to me that if they find her drunk but not in any danger, then there's nothing they can do really. I may be wrong...someone correct me if I am!

I applaud you and your sister's efforts to stop enabling her. It must be a difficult choice to make.

Thumper

I think that yes you can call 911 and request a welfare check.

Where I live you can also make a report to Adult Services and Aging with the Department of Social Services. They will investigate and assess if everyone in the home is safe and if they need any follow up services. That agency will also be able to assist your family with services for you dad whether that be a placement or in-home services (in his own home or in your sisters).

This is a lot to take in. My thoughts are with you.

least

If it were me I'd call adult protective services and see if they can do anything, at least do an assessment. But call 911 if you're really worried about her safety right now.



PS, I quit drinking for good over a year ago and it makes me feel good to know that my kids will never be put in this situation.

Phoenixthebird

Matrix, I almost feel like you and your sister would be doing more enabling if you choose to just ignore your mother's drinking under the situation you described. Thank God, your sister was able to become your father's caregiver.

I would suggest you contact the State of Rhode Island Department of Elderly Affairs Rhode Island Department of Elderly Affairs:

The way you described your mother's drinking it's affecting her mental health and should not be living by herself any longer.

Just my personal opinion. Take what you like and leave the rest.

Love and Peace,
Phoenix

jen928

You can most definitely call 911. Although my post is a day late...I hope that you were able to get someone to do a welfare check for your mom. I called 911 on my mom and although they couldn't take her (against her will), at least they checked on her and tried to talk some sense into her. I feel for you...my mom is also a vodka drinker and out of her mind (unfortunately, this is all the time now).

matrix

Just wanted to do a quick update. We did end up calling the RI Dept of Elder Affairs for a welfare check. The caseworker went there and called 911, because she was unsafe. The police and ERT came and determined that she was not competent or safe and she was taken to the nearest hospital. The caseworker met my sister at the hospital, said that she would file a report and left.

My sister, who has power of attorney, was able to request that she be detoxed, which she was. Less than 24 hours later, the hospital discharged her, as she was legally sober and therefor competent and therefor able to decide for herself. She rejected all offers of treatment and demanded to be released.

So frustating after years of not taking action, we finally do after much agonizing, and it didn't addd up to much.

She has been home and functional since then and has agreed to talk to a therapist. We know that she will start again and our plan is to keep on getting the authorities involved.

Cyranoak

With caring in my heart I say that you already know what to do. Now do it.

Take care,

Cyranoak