Help, Support and Feedback for Financial issue
 

Here is a little background. In enough of a financial mess with my STBXAW where bankruptcy needs to be declared (after all of the bills and rehab and ER stays). I gathered all of the information needed, gave her the information needed a couple of days ago and all she has to do is ask questions as needed and sign the papers (so this could be done before the divorce is finalized). She asked a couple of questions and won't sign anything. This came back up in a conversation yesterday and essentially it came down to that if I stay in the marriage, she'll work with me on the finances, but if I keep with the divorce, she won't work with me.

Besides all of the reactions that I have to that basic statement (and will keep to myself for now), I need to know if anyone has been in this situation before and how people have handled it.

I've never been in that situation, but it's obvious she's trying to blackmail you. Only you can decide whether or not to stay in the marriage, but, I think I'd talk with my bankruptcy attorney to find out how to go about getting the bankruptcy filed if she refuses to cooperate, or if it's even possible.

While I never thought of it as blackmail, it is just another reason why staying in the marriage is impossible. This is also seems to be another delay tactic to keep herself in the comfort zone.

I was divorced first, then filed bankruptcy to protect MYSELF for various reasons related to the financial status of the marriage.

If she won't cooperate, proceed without her. Personal bankruptcy is to protect YOU, if I'm not mistaken.

And yes, it is blackmail.

Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote

Why do you need her approval/signature in order to proceed with *your* bankruptcy? I declared personal bankruptcy 5 years ago and though I was common law with my then-AH, I didn't require his signature. I would discuss this with your bankruptcy trustee and see if there is a way to proceed without her.

sirpher, in my personal opinion, I think you are putting the carriage before the horse, here. If in fact, you are going to procede with your divorce, filing for bankruptcy is something that could be worked out in the legal procedures, or even after your divorce is finalized. Filing for bankruptcy before you file for divorce will only delay your divorce finalization. I recommend you consult an attorney concerning your particular situation.

Phoenix

Because most of the debt is joint, that is why I would need her signature. I thank you for all of the opinions and it does help settle my mind out this.

How come you can't wait till after the divorce? The debt will be split and you'll have your half and she'll have hers. You can file bankruptcy then and she can do whatever she wants with her debt.

I don't mean that to sound so patronizing. My how come was a real question - there is probably a reason that won't work that I just don't know about!

My situation as a little different (husband refused to be reasonable when selling our house) and my lawyer said that we could take it before the judge and he'd order this and that to get it done. It would have been expensive but possible.