I'm making a new friend!
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: the moon, milky way
Posts: 1,250
I'm making a new friend!
No it isn't a guy.
But it is a co-worker who I click with. She is a great gal and her mom was an addict, her sister currently is. So she 'gets it'. I don't have to pretend and talk about my imaginary boyfriend. I tell her who he is REALLY and she gets it. She also gets my anger and confusion about things. It has been a really nice connection and nice to talk about the real situation. Making a TRUE friend is tough the older I get let alone one who understands how challenging it is to have a loved one with an addiction in your life.
So today I was talking about a trail that I know of which is around the shoreline. I know she has a way serious boyfriend so I never thought to ask her to go for a walk some time. I was lamenting how I don't like going for walks or hikes by myself and she said I should call and invite her when I want to. I don't know why but it made me so happy that she said that. And she really did want to hang out with me. It felt great.
I can spend some time with someone who I have things in common with, and who I can be really open with and she won't judge or make me feel crazy. I also notice that I've been isolating myself and that isn't good because I start to worry and obsess over the RABF. She even admitted she has co-dependency issues of her own regarding her family.
It is also nice to be able to not have to just say stuff like 'he's going through a rough time'.. or 'he is going through something challenging right now'. Or minimize the extent of his disease. I can tell her point blank that he is a binge drinker! Neat o! Kind of refreshing actually because I get tired of all the stupid euphemisms I have to toss around so to make it appear that my boyfriend is just like any other with a car and a job, when actually he was living on the street a few months back, has no car and the most extravagant meal he can afford for a 'date night' is a burrito
. She actually told me to give him a chance because it sounds like he really does love me and wants to do the right thing.
When I first told her that my bf was actually in rehab, I was nervous that she would make assumptions, or that she would feel 'sorry' for me. But when I told her the name and location of his facility, she said "oh wow! we've been trying to get my sister in their program. Be sure to tell me what you know about it and how he likes it".
I think my jaw must have dropped to the floor. I knew then that this gal really did 'get it'. Yea for new friends!
But it is a co-worker who I click with. She is a great gal and her mom was an addict, her sister currently is. So she 'gets it'. I don't have to pretend and talk about my imaginary boyfriend. I tell her who he is REALLY and she gets it. She also gets my anger and confusion about things. It has been a really nice connection and nice to talk about the real situation. Making a TRUE friend is tough the older I get let alone one who understands how challenging it is to have a loved one with an addiction in your life.
So today I was talking about a trail that I know of which is around the shoreline. I know she has a way serious boyfriend so I never thought to ask her to go for a walk some time. I was lamenting how I don't like going for walks or hikes by myself and she said I should call and invite her when I want to. I don't know why but it made me so happy that she said that. And she really did want to hang out with me. It felt great.
I can spend some time with someone who I have things in common with, and who I can be really open with and she won't judge or make me feel crazy. I also notice that I've been isolating myself and that isn't good because I start to worry and obsess over the RABF. She even admitted she has co-dependency issues of her own regarding her family.
It is also nice to be able to not have to just say stuff like 'he's going through a rough time'.. or 'he is going through something challenging right now'. Or minimize the extent of his disease. I can tell her point blank that he is a binge drinker! Neat o! Kind of refreshing actually because I get tired of all the stupid euphemisms I have to toss around so to make it appear that my boyfriend is just like any other with a car and a job, when actually he was living on the street a few months back, has no car and the most extravagant meal he can afford for a 'date night' is a burrito
. She actually told me to give him a chance because it sounds like he really does love me and wants to do the right thing. When I first told her that my bf was actually in rehab, I was nervous that she would make assumptions, or that she would feel 'sorry' for me. But when I told her the name and location of his facility, she said "oh wow! we've been trying to get my sister in their program. Be sure to tell me what you know about it and how he likes it".
I think my jaw must have dropped to the floor. I knew then that this gal really did 'get it'. Yea for new friends!
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