Under the Influence is an EXCELLENT read. It clearly explains, also, that the beginning stage alcoholic doesn't think there is a problem, nor does anyone close to him/her. They are still functioning alcoholics in the beginning stage and the only ones who will recognize it are the people on this site (or others like it) who have been through it, researched it and can now spot it from miles away.

Just saying that 9 drinks in one day/night is way beyond normal. It takes quite a history of drinking for a 115lb woman to be able to knock back that much alcohol without passing out cold.

IMO alcohol tolerance does not equal alcoholism but that level of tolerance is a red flag to look at the big picture. How important is alcohol in my life? How much am I willing to sacrifice? What sacrifices have already been made? Why on earth am I drinking that much? You can't answer those, only she can, but firs she has to want to ask the questions. You can't ask them for her or of her.

IME, there are some sacrifices at that level of drinking - if we quit denying them. That is personal experience - and no I am not an alcoholic but at one time in my life I drank that much. I did not have a 'resistance' I had 'tolerance'. I haven't drank like that for years. I'm pretty sure I'd be under the table on my fourth drink and I'm a far cry from 5'6 and 115lbs. Not sure as I drink like a normal person now so I don't really get that far. I knew a lot of people that drank that much. Some are still drinking that much. They have suffered some pretty major sacrifices and keep on drinking. They are alcoholics. The rest of us grew up and went on to lead lives and drink like normal people. Looking back I can't see any way to tell the difference between the two groups so you can't go looking for something like 'natural resistance' as a way to find a 'get out of alcoholism free' card ya know. Its a red flag. Pay attention.

I should include that I found friends that drank that much because I did. Normal college students do not drink that much either. It is dysfunctional and even though I didn't become an alcoholic I did marry one - still dysfunctional. There is also a difference between drinking a couple of drinks while socializing and drinking enough to blot other things out and/or hid other very faulty coping mechanisms or personal issues - which is a lot of what I was doing.

I wish I could go back and pay attention. I wish someone would have said 'this is not normal'. I wish I would have dealt with stuff then.

I'm not sure how to phrase this or even exactly what I'm trying to say. I know it's going to take me a long time to trust myself to let a guy in my life - to trust a guy IRL. I know it will take a significant act of courage to disclose to him the level of abuse that was in my marriage. I haven't gotten there yet, so I don't know, but I'm not surprised it took her a year to disclose abuse.

It catches up eventually ....
 

I lived with my ex for 10 years and was completely ignorant of how much he drank - he never looked drunk or showed the signs. It finally caught up with him in our last year together and I had to leave him six months ago. It was him or me ... I had to make the choice.

Thank you everyone for your insight. I guess I will try to talk with her about it, but I will be patient and wait for her to be comfortable and ready to tell me. I am a very good listener and I will use this skill to help her through her past no matter how much or little I learn about it.

intersting, just interesting!

well this is pretty old information with all the new drugs on the scene, but i remember if you did cocaine while drinking you seemed to be sober as a judge-so maybe it is her mix. could be she is a high functioning alcoholic who you really don't even know her as her real self. then again, if you are young you very well may have a healthy body that can resist it for awhile. it is after some time of constant binging though it will catch up with her. that's where the die hard alcoholics come from.

Guess each persons tolerance is different. My aw can drink 14 beers at a time and seem normal. Of course I'm so attuned to her drinking that I can tell after she's had one beer. She hides those airline sized bottles of vodka that you can buy anywhere and she can keep a steady buzz going all day