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Snack4 01-04-2011 11:00 AM

CoDA or Al-anon
 
Both local meetings in my area are held on the same night at the same time in 2 different locations. Any suggestions as to which would be better for me?

I just came out of a good relationship with a RA and I am also codependent. Any advice or guidance from past experiences would be greatly appreciated.

keepinon 01-04-2011 11:17 AM

I would suggest trying one each week and see which feels like a better fit

Cyranoak 01-04-2011 11:22 AM

It's not an exact science this recovery thing...
 
...so try both and see what you think. People find recovery in more than one way, though some are more "proven," than others. The bottom line, as always, is what is actually working for you. For me, Al-Anon works. I've never been to a CoDA meeting so can't address it directly, but it sure sounds good to me.

That said, unless you give them both a chance you'll never know. While it sounds like you are pretty open minded, I have seen people go to meetings one time specifically so they can, while rejecting them, say they've been as if one time teaches anything at all. It's high level, personally manipulative justification for not finding recovery. You know, the whole doing it so you can hate it thing.

Bottom line? In my opinion go to several meetings, some different if possible and at least six of each, before deciding if it is for you. That is how you will discover, or begin discovering, your answers.

Take care,

Cyranoak

Snack4 01-04-2011 12:05 PM

Thanks for the replies. I have thought about going to both alternating them but my thought process is to get comfortable at one or the other. I guess going to each one for one week, seeing the people who are there and which is better suited to me is actually the way to go.

Since these meetings are so very close to my home, I do not see going as a problem. This is something I NEED to do to keep moving forward. I am also hoping to make some friends along the way since I have very few that I can actually call friends. Just seems to me that going through the recovery process with someone might make it a bit easier in the long run.

Thanks again for the suggestions!:thanks

sandladyvb 01-05-2011 09:12 AM

Decisions, decisions
 

Originally Posted by Snack4 (Post 2818053)
Both local meetings in my area are held on the same night at the same time in 2 different locations. Any suggestions as to which would be better for me?

I just came out of a good relationship with a RA and I am also codependent. Any advice or guidance from past experiences would be greatly appreciated.

For me, attending CODA was like putting the cart before the horse. I needed to go to Al-Anon first to stay in touch with how my husbands drinking and living with sobriety was affecting me. I found that problems don't cease and relationships don't heal just because the drinker stops drinking.

I wanted the relationship so badly to work and improve so that we could live happily ever after. But there is a lot of "footwork" that has to happen in terms of my own recovery first so that I have a "me" to give to the relationship. My experience with the CODA meetings I attended was that there were a lot of people there who simply would not admit that their lives had been affected by someone else's drinking. It is like expecting a flower to bloom without ever getting to the root of the problem.

I didn't come to this conclusion overnight. I went to both types of meetings for awhile before I made up my mind. For me, there is no simpler softer way in dealing with someone's alcohol abuse. Attending Al-Anon helped me eliminate denial and enabling the drinker and doing what I needed to do for me.


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