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Alcoholic now popping pills - nothing we can do?

Old 01-01-2011, 09:26 AM
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Unhappy Alcoholic now popping pills - nothing we can do?

Coming from a family where my mother was the child of an abusive alcoholic, I have a little bit of knowledge. She went through a lot as an adult recovering from the abuse and dealing with repressed anger. This situation with my fil is a bit different. He was not an alcoholic until later in life after he lost his father. He lost everything because of his drinking. He became so unhealthy that my mil had to care for him. He had a heart attack, and then cancer, and almost died from septic shock twice. He is so ill that they have him on morphine, oxy, and zoloft in addition to about 4-5 other medications for heart, chrone's disease, COPD, and who knows what else. Mil told us all that he "rehabbed" and we found out about a year ago that he was still drinking about two beers a day, and mil was drinking out of these huge glass bottles of wine. Fast forward to about two months ago, mil was diagnosed with cancer and died within a month of finding out. Fil started drinking heavily again, and starting abusing his pain medication. It was so bad that he went out to his car while his mother and some of his grandchildren were there (alone - parent left the pre-teen and teen there because they have no other babysitter), to get his case of beer, and he tried to hide it, but ended up falling and breaking his arm and had bleeding on the brain. While he was at the hospital, I had to stay with the kids, and they showed me fil's stash under his bed. Empty cases of beer, and at least 6 of those large wine jugs all empty. We found countless empty beer cans and then we found a full case plus a freezer insulated bag full of beer - estimated at about 36-40 beers. When fil came home from the hospital a few days later, he was told not to drink or take any extra pain meds, but then I heard him telling his mother that he was okay to take extra morphine for pain. Just four days later, fil was out of beer. He missed a four hour IV treatment he desperately needs because he didn't want to miss out on drinking. He made one of the kids take him to the ER because he said he was in "pain" and they marked his chart as "chronic alcoholic" and refused to give him any kind of pain meds and sent him home. Now the family doctor has been called, and she says no more morphine or oxy for him because she didn't know he was an alcoholic until now. She is also going to adjust his zoloft at the next doctor's visit. My husband made sure that his father had enough morphine to get through Sunday so he could see the doctor on Monday, but apparently it's all gone already. None of the kids want to deal with this after just burying their mother before the holidays, but fil is out of control. He is going to either OD or he is going to go crazy from the detox on his own. Is there anything we should be doing for him, or do we pretty much just leave him on his own since he doesn't care anymore about what he is doing to himself? It's so bad that he can't drive right now and he's asking his 80 something year old mother to go to the store and buy beer for him - the kids are refusing, and now he keeps saying he's in pain all the time. The grown kids don't understand anything about detoxing or about the side effects that come from withdrawal.......I tried to tell them he will need medical help to get through it since he has so many other medical issues, but no one is listening. I feel helpless and don't know what can be done.
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Old 01-01-2011, 09:40 AM
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Welcome to SR, you've come to a great and understanding place for your situation. There is a whole community here that exactly knows your pain.

I'm sorry this is the start to your new year!

I'll just invite you to check out the classic reading links that will help you educate yourself, while others come to chime in with their Experience, Strength, and Hope. They will be along, but it may be a bit slow, with it being a holiday, so do come back and hang around!

CLMI
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Old 01-01-2011, 10:07 AM
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Hi doodlebugger. So sorry for what your fil and family are going thru. Such a sad situation and all too familiar. My brother was also once hell-bent on killing himself with drugs and alcohol, and I was powerless to help him, try as I did. I suggest Al-Anon for those family members who are affected by their loved one's drinking.
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Old 01-01-2011, 10:18 AM
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Welcome to SR, but I am sorry for the circumstances that brought you here.

He is going to do what he is going to do, unfortunately. With his heavy drinking, the Zoloft will not do any good either. Alcohol is a depressant.

I too recommend the reading that Catlovermi suggested to you. "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie is an excellent starter book.

I'd also like to suggest Alanon as there you will find face-to-face support among those who understand. Alcoholism affects everyone in its path, and we need a way to heal ourselves and live a full life in spite of what the alcoholic is/isn't doing.

Alanon has been invaluable to me, and I practice the principles of Alanon in all areas of my life.

I hope you continue to post!
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Old 01-01-2011, 04:38 PM
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Nothing you can really do for him. I am slowly coming to terms with this. It's not easy.
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