You wanna make amends? Give me money!

Old 12-22-2010, 09:39 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
nodaybut2day's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Quebec
Posts: 2,708
Originally Posted by nicam View Post
I am giving more than I am comfortable with and am feeling resentful.
So, you could...stop doing what makes you feel uncomfortable?

Don't get me wrong, I totally understand how you feel, and I've done what you've done tenfold. Ask me where the 100K is that I made dancing to support XAH and his son...*poof* all gone.
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Old 12-22-2010, 11:49 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Thumper, thank you so much, you are awesome. Yes, the holidays make me crazy and there are much deeper issues than him paying me back, which he did, and then some (I think the trip is happening too). The focus should be on me, I'm putting myself in the victim role here and looking to my RABF to make me happy. I need to be responsible for my own happiness and not do anything that makes me uncomfortable on top of that. Boundaries, right?

I would not carry on this relationship long term if he didn't work full time, and I'm sure that's not what he wants either. I'm working, got a great new job, getting a great new apartment soon, new car, etc., and have lots of great friends and some family. I hope and have faith that he will get a job real soon and progress in his sobriety enough to be in an equal, fulfilling relationship with me. If not, I will take care of me and be OK.
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