Insomnia?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 115
Insomnia?
About 2 months before I moved out from living with AH (I left in October) I started having really bad insomnia. Leading up to moving out, I think the constant stress of the situation and the planning to leave definitely made it difficult to sleep. Since moving, I have my own quiet, peaceful, sober space, which is a huge improvement. Despite all of the angst surrounding my leaving, I am 100% sure that I did the right thing in leaving. However, I continue to have insomnia, and it seems to be getting worse. I can't sleep, so of course I'm tired all of the time. I am getting to the point where I am starting to feel achy too, and I am unintentionally losing weight as well. Does anyone have experience with post break up insomnia? Any advice? I've read that insomnia can be a sign of depression, but I don't feel unhappy, just tired.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Glenn Dale, MD
Posts: 16
It's normal to have disrupted sleep and or eating habits when experiencing trauma. Melatonin is a natural sleep aid that you can get at health stores. I read a good article about not concentrating on trying to fall asleep because that never works. It suggested concentrating on relaxing. I have been practicing that and have been sleeping alot better. Chamomille Tea also is a nice sleep aid. Hang in there. It just takes time.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 650
I have tried benadryl, valarian, melatonin, chamomile, catnip, and various prescriptions, and if my body wants to stay up, it doesn't care what I pump into it, it is not going to sleep! Not sure if it's due to my using or not-- I used for a long time, and I have also had intermittent insomnia a lot, often I get no sleep at all, once I went 4 nights with no sleep until they snowed me on ambien (which I now refuse to take, as it is addictive, and makes me hallucinate or black out).
Now that I'm clean my problem is that I can't eat, so I get low energy, so I drink caffeine to get through the day, but then I can't sleep at night... it's not working well at all!
Wish I could be of more help instead of just throwing my issues out there, too... just do the opposite of whatever I'm doing, I guess.
Now that I'm clean my problem is that I can't eat, so I get low energy, so I drink caffeine to get through the day, but then I can't sleep at night... it's not working well at all!
Wish I could be of more help instead of just throwing my issues out there, too... just do the opposite of whatever I'm doing, I guess.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: crestline, california
Posts: 17
Sounds like anxiety...sounds like you need to still keep talking until you feel at peace with your decision. Might I suggest yoga mid evening?
Often times when you leave someone because of their substance problems, while you're elevating out of crisis, they are slipping further into it, and experiencing further loss of quality living, even the basics. Just knowing that, even if it is not your fault, really toys with the head.
Often times when you leave someone because of their substance problems, while you're elevating out of crisis, they are slipping further into it, and experiencing further loss of quality living, even the basics. Just knowing that, even if it is not your fault, really toys with the head.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,059
when i can't sleep, i try to increase my exercise and also, my exposure to fresh air. essentially, tire myself out. it helps me.
when i couldn't do that because i had a broken shoulder and the pain was keeping me awake, i used sleeping pills. i found tamazapan was the best one. not something to get in the habit of, but i would take one after a few nights of bad sleep and found it very relaxing and i slept well.
my doctor prescribed 20 pills and that lasted me for about 6 months.
when i couldn't do that because i had a broken shoulder and the pain was keeping me awake, i used sleeping pills. i found tamazapan was the best one. not something to get in the habit of, but i would take one after a few nights of bad sleep and found it very relaxing and i slept well.
my doctor prescribed 20 pills and that lasted me for about 6 months.
Awakening
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Beautiful Texas hillcountry
Posts: 1,272
Originally Posted by sturtel 
It's normal to have disrupted sleep and or eating habits when experiencing trauma. Melatonin is a natural sleep aid that you can get at health stores. I read a good article about not concentrating on trying to fall asleep because that never works. It suggested concentrating on relaxing. I have been practicing that and have been sleeping alot better. Chamomille Tea also is a nice sleep aid. Hang in there. It just takes time.
When I first started it, I was a little "sleepy headed/foggy" upon arising for 15 or so minutes the first 2 days. But after that no side affects at all, been using it for years.
Man, I remember getting a script for Ambeian (sp?) a few years ago during my "trudging through hell daze". Is that stuff even still on the market? Talk about weird dreams, damn. That and the house could burn down around you and you'd never budge for 6 or 7 hours.
Also my system is REALLY sensitive to caffeine, no coffee, tea, chocolate, etc., after 4pm or so or I can tell.
No video games before bed, I used to let LMC (Little Miss Coyote/9yo daughter) play her DS before bed once in a while, even in bed, till I realized it "wired' her brain. It would take her 45min to conk out, compared to 5min usually. Had to put the ixnay on all that nonsense.
Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Glenn Dale, MD
Posts: 16
A friend gave me ambien too. I can't believe they give that to poor souls who can't sleep. Talk about hallucinations! I'd rather be up all night with my live thoughts than being tortured in my sleep by Gremlins!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Waterford MI
Posts: 4,202
ditto what raynedrop said.
i had to go to sleep naturally, not slide into a blackout and unconciousness.
a routine, a little light reading, and a dark room.
worked great for me.
but, if you continue to lose sleep, talk to a doctor.
even though i am much better taking venlafaxine for my depression, there are still nights where i am up for 24 hours.
lol
and, i just remembered when I had guard duty (24 hours) in the Army, after 3 am, i could not keep my eyes open.
Beth
i had to go to sleep naturally, not slide into a blackout and unconciousness.
a routine, a little light reading, and a dark room.
worked great for me.
but, if you continue to lose sleep, talk to a doctor.
even though i am much better taking venlafaxine for my depression, there are still nights where i am up for 24 hours.
lol
and, i just remembered when I had guard duty (24 hours) in the Army, after 3 am, i could not keep my eyes open.
Beth
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 115
Thanks for all the suggestions, I appreciate it. I really need to get back to exercising. I actually love exercise, and have worked out regularly for years. Since the break up, though, I have had a hard time exercising because I always feel so weak and tired lately. But maybe it's a chicken and egg thing where I wouldn't feel so weak and tired if I exercised. And then maybe I could get to sleep. I am not interested in taking a script, so I think I will add in some exercise and maybe pick up some melatonin.
I actually went to the doctor yesterday to make sure that I don't have any kind of health problem besides stress. So frustrating! First, I called to make an appointment to get a physical (which I haven't had done in years). Then, I get to the clinic and they have me meet with a physician's assistant (not a doctor), who merely asks me a few questions, tells me absolutely nothing and gives me a script for sleeping pills. I asked if she was going to check me out, and she said that given my age (31) a physical probably isn't going to tell us anything. Um, I scheduled the appointment to have a physical. I then asked (politely) what the point of going to the clinic was if they weren't actually going to check anything that I couldn't check myself. She just shrugged and said that normally they don't do physicals on a first meeting. Like I scheduled the appointment because I just felt like chatting? So, I got to fork over a big co-pay to not meet with a doctor, not get a physical, and be told that since my age indicates I'm probably healthy, why bother to check anything? Grrrr, I am very frustrated.
So, once again, my SR friends are much more helpful than people in real life. Love you!!!
I actually went to the doctor yesterday to make sure that I don't have any kind of health problem besides stress. So frustrating! First, I called to make an appointment to get a physical (which I haven't had done in years). Then, I get to the clinic and they have me meet with a physician's assistant (not a doctor), who merely asks me a few questions, tells me absolutely nothing and gives me a script for sleeping pills. I asked if she was going to check me out, and she said that given my age (31) a physical probably isn't going to tell us anything. Um, I scheduled the appointment to have a physical. I then asked (politely) what the point of going to the clinic was if they weren't actually going to check anything that I couldn't check myself. She just shrugged and said that normally they don't do physicals on a first meeting. Like I scheduled the appointment because I just felt like chatting? So, I got to fork over a big co-pay to not meet with a doctor, not get a physical, and be told that since my age indicates I'm probably healthy, why bother to check anything? Grrrr, I am very frustrated.
So, once again, my SR friends are much more helpful than people in real life. Love you!!!
Rising from the Ashes
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Republic of Texas
Posts: 451
SashaMB, 
I've, also, noticed the lack of professional health concern lately. I was going to suggest that you needed to have a physical because insomnia can be one of the
first warning signs that something more is going on with your body. I suggest that if your insomnia continues either go to another doctor or go to a psychiatrist. I suffer from insomnia and had a physical checkup with my doctor for my stroke after-effects on Friday. He had previously prescribed me ambien. I had run out of his prescription for the ambien and needed him to write me another prescription. He wrote me one month's worth of ambien and referred me to a psychiatrist. He just didn't feel comfortable writing prescriptions for psychiatric medication. His specialty was for my physical well being, and the psychiatrist's specialty is for my emotional and mental well being.
Insomnia Techniques:
See a Doctor
Take a Warm Bath
Use bath salts, or throw in Epsom salts and baking soda—one cup of each. These will relax you and also help remove toxins from your body.
Get a Massage
Have your spouse (or whoever) give you a massage just before going to sleep. If you can convince them to give you a full body massage, great. If not, even a short backrub and/or a face and scalp massage can be a big help. Have them make the massage strokes slow, gentle, yet firm, to work the tension out of your muscles and soothe you to sleep.
Listen to Music or Other Audio
Play some soft, soothing music that will lull you to sleep. There are many CDs designed for that very purpose. Some are specially composed music, others simply have sounds of waves rhythmically breaking, or the steady pattern of a heartbeat. Some will lead you to sleep with a combination of music, voice and other soothing sounds.
Drink Warm Milk
A glass of warm milk 15 minutes before going to bed will soothe your nervous system. Milk contains calcium, which works directly on jagged nerves to make them (and you) relax.
Drink Herb Tea
If you don't like milk—or are avoiding dairy products—try a cup of hot camomile, catnip, anise or fennel tea. All contain natural ingredients which will help you sleep. Most health food stores will also have special blends of herb tea designed to soothe you and help you get to sleep.
Eat a Bedtime Snack
Avoid Caffeine, Alcohol and Tobacco
Sleep in a Well-Ventilated Room
Sleep on a Good Firm Bed
Sleep on Your Back
Get Some Physical Exercise During the Day
Keep Regular Bedtime Hours
If You Can't Sleep, Get Up
Don't Sleep In
Get Up Earlier in the Morning
Keep Your Bed a Place for Sleep
Avoid Naps
Avoid Illuminated Bedroom Clocks
Counting Sheep
Progressive Relaxation
Deep Breathing
Visualize Something Peaceful
Visualize Something Boring
Imagine It's Time to Get Up
Quiet Ears-Earplugs
Not Thinking
Yawning
Backwards Counting / Mental Computer
Secure Place
Bedtime Routine
Hot Water Bottle
Short Walk Before Bed
Sex
Good luck! Have a pleasant sleep!
Just my personal opinion. Take what you like and leave the rest.
Love and Peace,
Phoenix
I've, also, noticed the lack of professional health concern lately. I was going to suggest that you needed to have a physical because insomnia can be one of thefirst warning signs that something more is going on with your body. I suggest that if your insomnia continues either go to another doctor or go to a psychiatrist. I suffer from insomnia and had a physical checkup with my doctor for my stroke after-effects on Friday. He had previously prescribed me ambien. I had run out of his prescription for the ambien and needed him to write me another prescription. He wrote me one month's worth of ambien and referred me to a psychiatrist. He just didn't feel comfortable writing prescriptions for psychiatric medication. His specialty was for my physical well being, and the psychiatrist's specialty is for my emotional and mental well being.
Insomnia Techniques:
See a Doctor
Take a Warm Bath
Use bath salts, or throw in Epsom salts and baking soda—one cup of each. These will relax you and also help remove toxins from your body.
Get a Massage
Have your spouse (or whoever) give you a massage just before going to sleep. If you can convince them to give you a full body massage, great. If not, even a short backrub and/or a face and scalp massage can be a big help. Have them make the massage strokes slow, gentle, yet firm, to work the tension out of your muscles and soothe you to sleep.
Listen to Music or Other Audio
Play some soft, soothing music that will lull you to sleep. There are many CDs designed for that very purpose. Some are specially composed music, others simply have sounds of waves rhythmically breaking, or the steady pattern of a heartbeat. Some will lead you to sleep with a combination of music, voice and other soothing sounds.
Drink Warm Milk
A glass of warm milk 15 minutes before going to bed will soothe your nervous system. Milk contains calcium, which works directly on jagged nerves to make them (and you) relax.
Drink Herb Tea
If you don't like milk—or are avoiding dairy products—try a cup of hot camomile, catnip, anise or fennel tea. All contain natural ingredients which will help you sleep. Most health food stores will also have special blends of herb tea designed to soothe you and help you get to sleep.
Eat a Bedtime Snack
Avoid Caffeine, Alcohol and Tobacco
Sleep in a Well-Ventilated Room
Sleep on a Good Firm Bed
Sleep on Your Back
Get Some Physical Exercise During the Day
Keep Regular Bedtime Hours
If You Can't Sleep, Get Up
Don't Sleep In
Get Up Earlier in the Morning
Keep Your Bed a Place for Sleep
Avoid Naps
Avoid Illuminated Bedroom Clocks
Counting Sheep
Progressive Relaxation
Deep Breathing
Visualize Something Peaceful
Visualize Something Boring
Imagine It's Time to Get Up
Quiet Ears-Earplugs
Not Thinking
Yawning
Backwards Counting / Mental Computer
Secure Place
Bedtime Routine
Hot Water Bottle
Short Walk Before Bed
Sex
Good luck! Have a pleasant sleep!
Just my personal opinion. Take what you like and leave the rest.
Love and Peace,
Phoenix
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 115
So, I just woke up this afternoon at 1:00 p.m. My first reaction was to be disgusted with myself for being so lazy that I missed half the day. But then I realized that I slept! It may be weird timing (I was up until about 4 a.m.), but I feel truly rested for the first time in weeks. Thank you for all of the great suggestions. I suspect I will continue to struggle with good sleep, but being refreshed reminds me of how important it is to get good sleep.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Waterford MI
Posts: 4,202
Sasha,
I think the next thing to try, since you slept a whole 9hours! *****!
is to back it up a little bit.
maybe try 330 am, for a week, then 300am and back to a normal time for you.
if your sleep was unbroken, that is fabulous!
i am happy for you.
I think the next thing to try, since you slept a whole 9hours! *****!
is to back it up a little bit.
maybe try 330 am, for a week, then 300am and back to a normal time for you.
if your sleep was unbroken, that is fabulous!
i am happy for you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2010
Posts: 115
Thanks, Wicked! Unfortunately, most of the world wakes up in the morning, so I will have to get up for work. Wacky sleep schedules really only work on the weekends. But I am self-employed, so my schedule varies. Anyway, baby steps. At this point, I will take sleep whenever it comes!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,516
When I was still living with my A, my sleep patterns were completely screwy. I would suffer from insomnia, and then in the last few months before I left, I would sleep 12-13 hours a night. And wake up exhausted.
I've been out of his house for almost 5 months now. I still don't sleep well (like tonight, I've been up since 2, it's now 4, and I just took some homeopatic sleep aid that usually works) but it's getting a lot better. For me, it's anxiety -- and I see a pattern in that every time I have to interact with him in any way, I can count on a night of insomnia.
The good thing is it gets better and better. I'm wicked sensitive to any kind of sleep aids -- I get a hangover that lasts at least the entire day following taking anything -- so I've relied on Hylands Calms Forte and magnesium (which acts as a muscle relaxant. I want to warn you about the magnesium, though -- it's a muscle relaxant that relaxes ALL muscles. So if you take the maximum recommended dosage, you don't want to, say, go for a daylong hike the next day. You want easy access to a bathroom.
)
The other thing that my mom (who's a chronic insomniac) keeps telling me is that it's OK to be awake. Just stay in bed (which is the opposite of what advisory columns tell you), control your thoughts (shoo away the stressful ones), create relaxing beautiful pictures in your mind (go to your happy place!
) and don't stress about being awake. You'll still get rest, even if you're not sleeping.
Hugs to you! I'm off to lounge in bed again...
I've been out of his house for almost 5 months now. I still don't sleep well (like tonight, I've been up since 2, it's now 4, and I just took some homeopatic sleep aid that usually works) but it's getting a lot better. For me, it's anxiety -- and I see a pattern in that every time I have to interact with him in any way, I can count on a night of insomnia.
The good thing is it gets better and better. I'm wicked sensitive to any kind of sleep aids -- I get a hangover that lasts at least the entire day following taking anything -- so I've relied on Hylands Calms Forte and magnesium (which acts as a muscle relaxant. I want to warn you about the magnesium, though -- it's a muscle relaxant that relaxes ALL muscles. So if you take the maximum recommended dosage, you don't want to, say, go for a daylong hike the next day. You want easy access to a bathroom.
)The other thing that my mom (who's a chronic insomniac) keeps telling me is that it's OK to be awake. Just stay in bed (which is the opposite of what advisory columns tell you), control your thoughts (shoo away the stressful ones), create relaxing beautiful pictures in your mind (go to your happy place!
) and don't stress about being awake. You'll still get rest, even if you're not sleeping. Hugs to you! I'm off to lounge in bed again...
Forum Leader
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
When I was first learning about recovery and making changes in my life, I experienced insomnia as well. I quickly learned to treat it as a gift - and I would tell myself that my HP wanted to talk with me so I'd better pay attention! I found myself with quiet time in the middle of the night when my exH was asleep, which meant I could read in peace. I would grab my copy of "Courage to Change" or "Paths to Recovery" from the hiding place under the couch cushions and I would read for a bit... and then I would allow myself to be still in the silence and just listen.
(I never had silence or quiet or peace in my house during the day, and my exH did NOT know I was attending Al Anon or that I was getting any help. It wouldn't have been a good thing if he knew. Not then, at least.)
I gained knowledge, strength, and a solid resolve to take actions and make choices that were in my own best interests. And soon I was able to sleep like a baby all thru the night again. I found some of my best answers there, in the dark, in the quiet. I believe to this day that it was my HP's time with me, when I needed it the most.
(I never had silence or quiet or peace in my house during the day, and my exH did NOT know I was attending Al Anon or that I was getting any help. It wouldn't have been a good thing if he knew. Not then, at least.)
I gained knowledge, strength, and a solid resolve to take actions and make choices that were in my own best interests. And soon I was able to sleep like a baby all thru the night again. I found some of my best answers there, in the dark, in the quiet. I believe to this day that it was my HP's time with me, when I needed it the most.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
And I need to remind everyone that we don't give out medical advice on SR. We'll be fine here as long as we keep the focus of our ESH on how we dealt with insomnia from a personal and practical angle and not from the medical aspects.
10. Medical Advice: No Posts giving medical advice, medication advice, or psychiatric advice. Do not use the forum to give or ask for professional medical or psychiatric advice. If you are a medical professional, please remember the forums and chat are for peer support only and not to be used for distributing professional medical advice and/or using the forum to represent your professional services. Medical and Psychiatric advice includes giving a diagnosis, treatment plan, medication advice and dosage suggestions, over the counter and natural home remedies that should be approved by medical professionals. Detox can be dangerous and life threatening at times. Please consult with your physician.
10. Medical Advice: No Posts giving medical advice, medication advice, or psychiatric advice. Do not use the forum to give or ask for professional medical or psychiatric advice. If you are a medical professional, please remember the forums and chat are for peer support only and not to be used for distributing professional medical advice and/or using the forum to represent your professional services. Medical and Psychiatric advice includes giving a diagnosis, treatment plan, medication advice and dosage suggestions, over the counter and natural home remedies that should be approved by medical professionals. Detox can be dangerous and life threatening at times. Please consult with your physician.
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