Off Balance, but won't dance
Skipper
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: South Texas, USA
Posts: 827
Off Balance, but won't dance
I will not dance the Codie dance today. No sirree.
I am waiting for the serenity to rain down upon my very nicely done hair.
Gulp...I may need some help from SR. HP knows I need a meeting.
My child and I are leaving town for 2 weeks to see my family for the holidays. I'm looking forward to it, even though I'm probably jumping from the frying pan into the fire. I have 2 ABs and one Queen Codie Mom. We are blessed with some decent, sane people in the family, though, and I plan to gravitate toward them for most of the time we're there. I also plan to attend Al-anon meetings there, which will be easier since I'll have free child care while there.
Last night, ABF came over to spend a Family Date Night evening with us. We ordered Wings and pizza and watched "Christmas Vacation".
I set myself up for misery. I had some expectations. Ooops. The night was terrible. On top of that, ABF had sneaked in a bottle. He wouldn't sit near me because he knew I'd smell it.
He was going to come over today so I could finish packing and just see him one on one while child in school. I hadn't heard from him, so I called his mom, who put him on the phone. He was already cursing because his computer wasn't working. I very calmly told him I was sorry to hear that, and we hung up.
I'm disappointed I won't be seeing him before we leave, but honestly I'm relieved at the same time. He's so focused on his misery, he couldn't even see any positive in spending a little time with me. I know, intellectually, that it's not me. I know I'm very cool to hang out with.
It still feels rotten.
Right now.
Thanks for letting me get this out.
I am waiting for the serenity to rain down upon my very nicely done hair.
Gulp...I may need some help from SR. HP knows I need a meeting.
My child and I are leaving town for 2 weeks to see my family for the holidays. I'm looking forward to it, even though I'm probably jumping from the frying pan into the fire. I have 2 ABs and one Queen Codie Mom. We are blessed with some decent, sane people in the family, though, and I plan to gravitate toward them for most of the time we're there. I also plan to attend Al-anon meetings there, which will be easier since I'll have free child care while there.
Last night, ABF came over to spend a Family Date Night evening with us. We ordered Wings and pizza and watched "Christmas Vacation".
I set myself up for misery. I had some expectations. Ooops. The night was terrible. On top of that, ABF had sneaked in a bottle. He wouldn't sit near me because he knew I'd smell it.
He was going to come over today so I could finish packing and just see him one on one while child in school. I hadn't heard from him, so I called his mom, who put him on the phone. He was already cursing because his computer wasn't working. I very calmly told him I was sorry to hear that, and we hung up.
I'm disappointed I won't be seeing him before we leave, but honestly I'm relieved at the same time. He's so focused on his misery, he couldn't even see any positive in spending a little time with me. I know, intellectually, that it's not me. I know I'm very cool to hang out with.
It still feels rotten.
Right now.
Thanks for letting me get this out.
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to skippernlilg For This Useful Post: | ady gil (12-16-2010),
coyote21 (12-16-2010),
Live (12-17-2010),
naive (12-17-2010),
OpenYourEyes (12-16-2010),
Redheadsusie (12-16-2010),
RollTide (12-16-2010),
wicked (12-16-2010)
|
I've never had the opportunity to attend an out of town Al-Anon meeting, we get frequent visitors, and I've always said I'd love to when the chance arises.
I wonder if anyone has an extended family without at least a hand full of drunks? The longer I'm in recovery, the more pervasive alcoholism seems to be. Oh well, can't un-ring that bell.
Enjoy the holidays, and maybe try to see todays lack of contact as a gift from you know who.
Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote
I wonder if anyone has an extended family without at least a hand full of drunks? The longer I'm in recovery, the more pervasive alcoholism seems to be. Oh well, can't un-ring that bell.
Enjoy the holidays, and maybe try to see todays lack of contact as a gift from you know who.
Thanks and God bless us all,
Coyote
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to coyote21 For This Useful Post: |
Skipper
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: South Texas, USA
Posts: 827
Thank you, Coyote,
I think it was God trying to tell me to Take it Easy. One Day at a Time. It's just a day, and really, what a glorious, beautiful day it is outside my window. I have Tollhouse cookies baking and the Christmas lights on today.
I checked my messages, and ABF left a message on my FB inbox: >>>>I'm sorry. I'm just frustrated with everything. I've never felt this depressed and hopeless.<<<<<<
My first instinct is to say I'm sorry, too. But, why? I want to tell him I love him. And I do. But...really...why....?
Going for a long trip is always hard for me. Highway driving feels weird after I lost my SIL and young nephew in a car accident a few years ago. I want to tell everyone how much I love them before every trip...but this time. I think I should stay silent for now.
I'll 'wag more, bark less' as your tagline says.
I think it was God trying to tell me to Take it Easy. One Day at a Time. It's just a day, and really, what a glorious, beautiful day it is outside my window. I have Tollhouse cookies baking and the Christmas lights on today.
I checked my messages, and ABF left a message on my FB inbox: >>>>I'm sorry. I'm just frustrated with everything. I've never felt this depressed and hopeless.<<<<<<
My first instinct is to say I'm sorry, too. But, why? I want to tell him I love him. And I do. But...really...why....?
Going for a long trip is always hard for me. Highway driving feels weird after I lost my SIL and young nephew in a car accident a few years ago. I want to tell everyone how much I love them before every trip...but this time. I think I should stay silent for now.
I'll 'wag more, bark less' as your tagline says.
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to skippernlilg For This Useful Post: |
Skipper
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: South Texas, USA
Posts: 827
Thanks, Rayn, for the compliments!! I will always accept a compliment.
In my real life, I honestly don't know many normies. I do hang out with the few I know as often as possible. As far as vacationing, child and I will soon enough, when our finances allow it. I'm a single mom who goes to school full time and works all the time. Our trip back home is inexpensive, and a long time coming. We haven't been back home for a holiday in six years.
I think Child and I will vacation during Spring Break and then again during Summer Break sometime.
Thank you for reminding me to do that. I will make sure we make time for a 'real' vacation on our next school break. And then again.
You're the BEST.
In my real life, I honestly don't know many normies. I do hang out with the few I know as often as possible. As far as vacationing, child and I will soon enough, when our finances allow it. I'm a single mom who goes to school full time and works all the time. Our trip back home is inexpensive, and a long time coming. We haven't been back home for a holiday in six years.
I think Child and I will vacation during Spring Break and then again during Summer Break sometime.
Thank you for reminding me to do that. I will make sure we make time for a 'real' vacation on our next school break. And then again.
You're the BEST.
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Bolina For This Useful Post: | Live (12-17-2010),
skippernlilg (12-16-2010)
|
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)