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Irritation with my therapist-advice/opinion

Old 12-15-2010, 08:54 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Therapists are sort of like dresses, sometimes you outgrow them, or they make your butt look big. Maybe you need to find someone new? Hopefully this akward exchange between you and he won't affect the client/patient relationship.

He could have handled the situation better. Also, therapists do get tired of clients. Sad but true. I know of therapists that are thinking of grocery lists and weekend plans while listening to clients. They can burn out. Hopefully he isn't burning out but something to be aware of.
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Old 12-16-2010, 03:59 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Phoenixthebird View Post
Now that I have allowed enough time for me to reflect on my exchange yesterday between my therapist and me, I believe he did this on purpose. I have used him as my therapist off-and-again for the last twenty years. Over this period of time we have gotten to know each other pretty good. When I describe him as one of my friends I'm referring to the definition of friend by the Merriam-Webster Dictionary; one attached to another by affection or esteem. I didn't call him my "querido".

Over this period of time he has gotten to know that I consider him rather "money hungry", and he has gotten to know I don't like to "waste money". He knows that he can get me off my "pity potty" and get me motivated in order for me to "save money".

The question was not whether or not I owed him the money, but how he approached the subject with me. His front desk could have told me that I needed to pay the amount due for my prior missed appointment. His front office is operated by his son, and his daughter, also, suffering from schizo-effective disorder. My daughter, also, suffered from schizo-effective disorder.

Well, if that was his deliberate plan, it worked! He managed to get me off my "pity potty", got me motivated, and I actually had a productive day!

When I chose to go into therapy with him this time, I knew what I was getting. He's a straight-shooter, without any sugar and honey added to his advice. I think he feels like he has done enough talking......now it's my time to put his advice into action!

Love and Peace,
Phoenix
I think you're reading into it from the way you want to see it.

I also think it's really a bad choice to have a friend for a therapist. If he/she is your friend why can't you just talk about stuff at home over a cup of coffee? THat's talking to a friend.

Talking to a professional therapist is not buddy buddy relationship. It's based on expression and impartial observation thereby any advise given is not in anyone's interest but your own.

As another poster said he could be tired of listening to you and because you're friends you think that couldn't be possible in a million years.

Then it becomes like "let me try and analyze what he did and/or why".

HOw is that therapy if it adds to your emotional turmoil?
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Old 12-16-2010, 08:30 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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from thumper:If you want to continue with this counselor how about going to the next session and simply state "I felt very invalidated when you addressed payment matters at the end of my appt. after I shared xyz. In the future, please address these matters at the beginning of my appt." See what he says.


I agree with this idea. This moves things forward in a mature way. And since you seem to be hurt and angry by what happened maybe also add a question that will help you clarify whether you should be taking it to heart so much like "Is there a reason you chose to bring up the payment in that way, in that moment? Is my anger way out of line?"

He is a therapist after all - so discussing difficult emotions, getting things out in the open is normal. I actually think all the issues you are bringing up about him should be discussed with him. The patient/therapist relationship in long-term therapy is a thing, and does need clarification from time to time for the therapy to be effective.

Peace & good luck-
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Old 12-16-2010, 08:50 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Phoenix,

I'm sorry you felt wronged here. I was also wondering if this was some kind of weird therapeutic exercise for you to experience another person's actions and then observe your reaction?

The only way of knowing would be to express that you felt a little 'off' about his approach and then ask his intent. Or to rise above the entire thing, realize he's been paid appropriately, and then report that you are getting really good at not assuming people's intentions or managing others at your next session.
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Old 12-16-2010, 08:52 AM
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Well, if that was his deliberate plan, it worked! He managed to get me off my "pity potty", got me motivated, and I actually had a productive day!
Yes, he could know you well enought to know,
"ha, this will shake phoenix up and get her motivated!"
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Old 12-16-2010, 09:11 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by wicked View Post
Yes, he could know you well enought to know,
"ha, this will shake phoenix up and get her motivated!"
lmao
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