Another stupid, predictable battle
I Love Who I Am
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
Another stupid, predictable battle
At Thanksgiving he was drunk and driving with the kids. I told him he had to be sober and come to my house to see them, which he has been doing for a few weeks, so I foolishly let him take them to get a tree and set it up at his house.
I called. He'd been drinking. I told him to bring them home or I was coming to get them.
We fought, but he brought them home and wouldn't let me take him home, he tried saying I'm a stoner and drive with them while I'm high. He tried telling me to go get in the house and take care of the children I was neglecting. None of it worked. He can't bait me with ridiculousness anymore.
He drove my car back to his house.
I'm going to bed. I locked the doors and shut off my phone, after texting him that they won't be coming over tomorrow, like he wants them to, that he will have to come here to see them and he will have to be sober.
I'll have to find therapy for the kids again. I had to stop taking them months ago because I have no money. The county won't give you help unless your homeless and crazy.
I'm not even mad, not like at Thanksgiving. I'm just weary. The kids are fine, they're in their beds reading. I dont' know what kind of scene he made, I didn't ask. We can talk about it in the morning, I'm not going to raise it with them tonight, I just loved them and put them to bed.
When I was in the car and he was saying that crazy ****, trying to blame shift, I just said, "You cant' drink around the kids. You can't drink and drive." I asked why he wouldn't let me drive him home, why he needed the car and he said, "Because we are in a battle and I'm going to win."
I said, Ok you win, and got out.
I told me to call the police. I don't freaking care. The kids are here, I'm sick of drama.
I'm obviously an idiot for letting him take them, even once, even to get a tree. It doesn't matter how sane he looks, he's going to drink around them.
I'm ok with going to court. No judge will give him custody, he has multiple drinking convictions. I don't have any money right now, but will obviously have to come up with something.
Maybe I can trade advertising for services with one of the attorneys I know and work with. hmm...
I'm in such a weird place. The kids are here with me, so they're fine. I am not worried about him, he'll be all apologetic tomorrow, or not. Doesn't matter. He can't take them again, can't bully me into getting distracted by his crap and wont' be able to trick me again.
I called. He'd been drinking. I told him to bring them home or I was coming to get them.
We fought, but he brought them home and wouldn't let me take him home, he tried saying I'm a stoner and drive with them while I'm high. He tried telling me to go get in the house and take care of the children I was neglecting. None of it worked. He can't bait me with ridiculousness anymore.
He drove my car back to his house.
I'm going to bed. I locked the doors and shut off my phone, after texting him that they won't be coming over tomorrow, like he wants them to, that he will have to come here to see them and he will have to be sober.
I'll have to find therapy for the kids again. I had to stop taking them months ago because I have no money. The county won't give you help unless your homeless and crazy.
I'm not even mad, not like at Thanksgiving. I'm just weary. The kids are fine, they're in their beds reading. I dont' know what kind of scene he made, I didn't ask. We can talk about it in the morning, I'm not going to raise it with them tonight, I just loved them and put them to bed.
When I was in the car and he was saying that crazy ****, trying to blame shift, I just said, "You cant' drink around the kids. You can't drink and drive." I asked why he wouldn't let me drive him home, why he needed the car and he said, "Because we are in a battle and I'm going to win."
I said, Ok you win, and got out.
I told me to call the police. I don't freaking care. The kids are here, I'm sick of drama.
I'm obviously an idiot for letting him take them, even once, even to get a tree. It doesn't matter how sane he looks, he's going to drink around them.
I'm ok with going to court. No judge will give him custody, he has multiple drinking convictions. I don't have any money right now, but will obviously have to come up with something.
Maybe I can trade advertising for services with one of the attorneys I know and work with. hmm...
I'm in such a weird place. The kids are here with me, so they're fine. I am not worried about him, he'll be all apologetic tomorrow, or not. Doesn't matter. He can't take them again, can't bully me into getting distracted by his crap and wont' be able to trick me again.
Last edited by transformyself; 12-11-2010 at 08:26 PM. Reason: had to take a funny picture out because the automatic editor didn't delete a bad word
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
I understand where you are coming from but I don't understand your narrative.
It sounds like he drove the kids home drunk, but I know you better than that.
Telling him in regards to his statement about it being a battle...okay, you win. is so AWESOME
I don't think I could do that. Wish I could..but those things never come to mind at the time.
It's a crying shame he can't do one holiday thing with the kids without making a mess of it. One day, a tree, ....reminds me of the hopeless nature of untreated addiction.
My X always had an uncanny ability to drink, ruin and start huge battles at the most important times. Every holiday, every special occassion. But would say ahead of time how much they meant to him. Insane.
and with so little regard for the kids and other innocent bystanders.
It sounds like he drove the kids home drunk, but I know you better than that.
Telling him in regards to his statement about it being a battle...okay, you win. is so AWESOME
I don't think I could do that. Wish I could..but those things never come to mind at the time.
It's a crying shame he can't do one holiday thing with the kids without making a mess of it. One day, a tree, ....reminds me of the hopeless nature of untreated addiction.
My X always had an uncanny ability to drink, ruin and start huge battles at the most important times. Every holiday, every special occassion. But would say ahead of time how much they meant to him. Insane.
and with so little regard for the kids and other innocent bystanders.
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Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
Transform.....always when I talk of my X here I am referring to that AABF that I was so entirely smitten with and with whom life became equally insane.
The XH of a few short years ago....he liked to drink more than I would really hope but I always figured I was just so highly sensitized to any drinking that I couldn't be sane about it. That is probably still true. Normal people can and do enjoy beer. It just triggers me.
But I spoke to him this week...his place burnt down and it was his birthday and I wanted to let him know that I thought of him. We can talk now sometimes. I asked him what he was going to do for his birthday. The man is 66 years old and he told me with great good cheer that he was going to get drunk. It hit me as so sad. He has been hanging at the bars regularly since we split. Guess that is what he wanted all along. I had thought about sacrificing to send him a little cash since he had such a devastating loss..but, uh-uh, not when he keeps a bar tab.
It just disgusts me.
The XH of a few short years ago....he liked to drink more than I would really hope but I always figured I was just so highly sensitized to any drinking that I couldn't be sane about it. That is probably still true. Normal people can and do enjoy beer. It just triggers me.
But I spoke to him this week...his place burnt down and it was his birthday and I wanted to let him know that I thought of him. We can talk now sometimes. I asked him what he was going to do for his birthday. The man is 66 years old and he told me with great good cheer that he was going to get drunk. It hit me as so sad. He has been hanging at the bars regularly since we split. Guess that is what he wanted all along. I had thought about sacrificing to send him a little cash since he had such a devastating loss..but, uh-uh, not when he keeps a bar tab.
It just disgusts me.
I Love Who I Am
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
Oh no Live, he drove them home. He lives 8 blocks away, it's all residential, but still. He had my car. I was going to take a taxi to come get them, but he drove over here quick like. *******. Then he took the car again. Now I know why.
I checked my phone and he was just saying more stupid crap, including he'll be here at 9am to pick them up. Now I know why he refused to give me the car. So he can drive over here in the morning to try to get them.
I really want to avoid confrontation in the morning, but he has my car and I can't leave. I guess I'll take a taxi and take the kids to breakfast...then I'll have to go up to his work and take the car after noon when he goes in.
God I hate this ****. I honestly, truly want no more drama. But it's putting me in a funny place. Different. I"m not reacting in any way. Just watching his insanity. Trying to figure the best way to protect me and the kids.
To be honest, he's been great for the last, what? three or four weeks? Sober, funny, helpful, kind. Absolutely fine. But boy, if I mess with his drinking, there is hell to pay.
He's ******* crazy. They all are.
I checked my phone and he was just saying more stupid crap, including he'll be here at 9am to pick them up. Now I know why he refused to give me the car. So he can drive over here in the morning to try to get them.
I really want to avoid confrontation in the morning, but he has my car and I can't leave. I guess I'll take a taxi and take the kids to breakfast...then I'll have to go up to his work and take the car after noon when he goes in.
God I hate this ****. I honestly, truly want no more drama. But it's putting me in a funny place. Different. I"m not reacting in any way. Just watching his insanity. Trying to figure the best way to protect me and the kids.
To be honest, he's been great for the last, what? three or four weeks? Sober, funny, helpful, kind. Absolutely fine. But boy, if I mess with his drinking, there is hell to pay.
He's ******* crazy. They all are.
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Alaska
Posts: 2,913
Hugs, Transform. XAH also drove with DS in his car at least once. He dropped him off and was obviously drunk. He admitted to having had 'a couple' but said he was OK to drive. Right. He left. As I dialed the number for the police and cancelled, dialed and cancelled, he called to say he got 'home' all right. Oh, how I wish I'd called... It was about the same distance as your A, 8 blocks, that doesn't give much time to call them and then catch him in the act. Would they still cite him if they get to his house and he's no longer driving? ......
You did amazing during all of this. Good job not reacting to his blame-shifting and goading!
Wishing you peace and continued strength.
You did amazing during all of this. Good job not reacting to his blame-shifting and goading!
Wishing you peace and continued strength.
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,059
you sound calm, cool and collected.
is his house close enough to walk to? 8 blocks sounds like it is. i'm just wondering if the boys could simply walk themselves home if they see he's been drinking. or cycle?
obviously, you will want to block him driving with the children. it sounds as though you're going to have to go to court, transform. he doesn't sound reasonable.
i hope you did get out of the house this morning and had a nice breakfast with the boys.
naive
is his house close enough to walk to? 8 blocks sounds like it is. i'm just wondering if the boys could simply walk themselves home if they see he's been drinking. or cycle?
obviously, you will want to block him driving with the children. it sounds as though you're going to have to go to court, transform. he doesn't sound reasonable.
i hope you did get out of the house this morning and had a nice breakfast with the boys.
naive
I Love Who I Am
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
Good morning my dear friends.
No Naive, no breakfast out of the house this morning. It's freezing and we're in our jammies. I was up at 6am, thinking. Praying, trying to sort out the best possible course of action.
I've learned so much here from the folks who share their stories.
As I usually try to do, when I'm faced with a situation that's unacceptable, I try to look at myself and my choices as honestly as I can. Sort out which of my choices have brought me to this place, so I don't repeat them.
I"m also working on not reacting to him at all. Earlier he texted me "Deb is not up. I will come and get them at 10" Deb is his room mate (my sisters ex-long story) who he lives with. They share her house. My sister left her the same time I left AH and they moved in together to share resources and because she's been Auntie to the kids their whole lives. It's a good situation really.
today is her birthday and she wanted to have breakfast with the kids. This is why he kept the car, so I couldn't prevent them from coming to his house this morning.
This text he sent creates such a rage in me. My first reacition is to text him back and fight with him, but I"m stopping myself. It's hard, but I deleted the text and am focusing on long term solutions.
And what that does, immediately, is create more time for myself. Less stress. I can see now how, if I refuse to engage with him in these bullshirt arguments, which are really only destractions from the reality of the situation, the more time I have to think. The better I can stay calm.
Right now this is all that matters to me. We have a history of him attacking me, I react and create a scene, then I'm the problem.
Not today Zerg. My kids don't need to see that. I don't want to be that person. Out of control, yet spinning in anger. it prevents me from accomplishing what's best for me and the kids.
He says all kinds of crap to me-I beleve the worst in him, I'm against him, him bla bla bla.
My favorte one is, "you and I are officially over." Gee. He must not have gotten the memo. The one that says, "After 15 years, Transform is no longer affected by your (empty) threats of abandonment. She will no longer be crying, weeping, and begging for you to understand how much she loves you and wants to work things out. She instead, will be watching you in amazement and wondering how to hire an attorney."
He wants to fight. He wants the drama and the ******** because it helps create a diversion and allows him to continue drinking.
Great. I'm going to make the kids suit up and shovel the drive with me.
No Naive, no breakfast out of the house this morning. It's freezing and we're in our jammies. I was up at 6am, thinking. Praying, trying to sort out the best possible course of action.
I've learned so much here from the folks who share their stories.
As I usually try to do, when I'm faced with a situation that's unacceptable, I try to look at myself and my choices as honestly as I can. Sort out which of my choices have brought me to this place, so I don't repeat them.
I"m also working on not reacting to him at all. Earlier he texted me "Deb is not up. I will come and get them at 10" Deb is his room mate (my sisters ex-long story) who he lives with. They share her house. My sister left her the same time I left AH and they moved in together to share resources and because she's been Auntie to the kids their whole lives. It's a good situation really.
today is her birthday and she wanted to have breakfast with the kids. This is why he kept the car, so I couldn't prevent them from coming to his house this morning.
This text he sent creates such a rage in me. My first reacition is to text him back and fight with him, but I"m stopping myself. It's hard, but I deleted the text and am focusing on long term solutions.
And what that does, immediately, is create more time for myself. Less stress. I can see now how, if I refuse to engage with him in these bullshirt arguments, which are really only destractions from the reality of the situation, the more time I have to think. The better I can stay calm.
Right now this is all that matters to me. We have a history of him attacking me, I react and create a scene, then I'm the problem.
Not today Zerg. My kids don't need to see that. I don't want to be that person. Out of control, yet spinning in anger. it prevents me from accomplishing what's best for me and the kids.
He says all kinds of crap to me-I beleve the worst in him, I'm against him, him bla bla bla.
My favorte one is, "you and I are officially over." Gee. He must not have gotten the memo. The one that says, "After 15 years, Transform is no longer affected by your (empty) threats of abandonment. She will no longer be crying, weeping, and begging for you to understand how much she loves you and wants to work things out. She instead, will be watching you in amazement and wondering how to hire an attorney."
He wants to fight. He wants the drama and the ******** because it helps create a diversion and allows him to continue drinking.
Great. I'm going to make the kids suit up and shovel the drive with me.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,059
just wondering if he is within the limit to drive. my guess, after big blow out with you last night, would be that he'd hit the bottle.
i'm sorry you have to worry about this, transform, but there is a chance he's not legal to drive at 10am this morning.
i'm sorry you have to worry about this, transform, but there is a chance he's not legal to drive at 10am this morning.
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: southport merseyside
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Originally Posted by transformyself 
Good morning my dear friends.
No Naive, no breakfast out of the house this morning. It's freezing and we're in our jammies. I was up at 6am, thinking. Praying, trying to sort out the best possible course of action.
I've learned so much here from the folks who share their stories.
As I usually try to do, when I'm faced with a situation that's unacceptable, I try to look at myself and my choices as honestly as I can. Sort out which of my choices have brought me to this place, so I don't repeat them.
I"m also working on not reacting to him at all. Earlier he texted me "Deb is not up. I will come and get them at 10" Deb is his room mate (my sisters ex-long story) who he lives with. They share her house. My sister left her the same time I left AH and they moved in together to share resources and because she's been Auntie to the kids their whole lives. It's a good situation really.
today is her birthday and she wanted to have breakfast with the kids. This is why he kept the car, so I couldn't prevent them from coming to his house this morning.
This text he sent creates such a rage in me. My first reacition is to text him back and fight with him, but I"m stopping myself. It's hard, but I deleted the text and am focusing on long term solutions.
And what that does, immediately, is create more time for myself. Less stress. I can see now how, if I refuse to engage with him in these bullshirt arguments, which are really only destractions from the reality of the situation, the more time I have to think. The better I can stay calm.
Right now this is all that matters to me. We have a history of him attacking me, I react and create a scene, then I'm the problem.
Not today Zerg. My kids don't need to see that. I don't want to be that person. Out of control, yet spinning in anger. it prevents me from accomplishing what's best for me and the kids.
He says all kinds of crap to me-I beleve the worst in him, I'm against him, him bla bla bla.
My favorte one is, "you and I are officially over." Gee. He must not have gotten the memo. The one that says, "After 15 years, Transform is no longer affected by your (empty) threats of abandonment. She will no longer be crying, weeping, and begging for you to understand how much she loves you and wants to work things out. She instead, will be watching you in amazement and wondering how to hire an attorney."
He wants to fight. He wants the drama and the ******** because it helps create a diversion and allows him to continue drinking.
Great. I'm going to make the kids suit up and shovel the drive with me.
No Naive, no breakfast out of the house this morning. It's freezing and we're in our jammies. I was up at 6am, thinking. Praying, trying to sort out the best possible course of action.
I've learned so much here from the folks who share their stories.
As I usually try to do, when I'm faced with a situation that's unacceptable, I try to look at myself and my choices as honestly as I can. Sort out which of my choices have brought me to this place, so I don't repeat them.
I"m also working on not reacting to him at all. Earlier he texted me "Deb is not up. I will come and get them at 10" Deb is his room mate (my sisters ex-long story) who he lives with. They share her house. My sister left her the same time I left AH and they moved in together to share resources and because she's been Auntie to the kids their whole lives. It's a good situation really.
today is her birthday and she wanted to have breakfast with the kids. This is why he kept the car, so I couldn't prevent them from coming to his house this morning.
This text he sent creates such a rage in me. My first reacition is to text him back and fight with him, but I"m stopping myself. It's hard, but I deleted the text and am focusing on long term solutions.
And what that does, immediately, is create more time for myself. Less stress. I can see now how, if I refuse to engage with him in these bullshirt arguments, which are really only destractions from the reality of the situation, the more time I have to think. The better I can stay calm.
Right now this is all that matters to me. We have a history of him attacking me, I react and create a scene, then I'm the problem.
Not today Zerg. My kids don't need to see that. I don't want to be that person. Out of control, yet spinning in anger. it prevents me from accomplishing what's best for me and the kids.
He says all kinds of crap to me-I beleve the worst in him, I'm against him, him bla bla bla.
My favorte one is, "you and I are officially over." Gee. He must not have gotten the memo. The one that says, "After 15 years, Transform is no longer affected by your (empty) threats of abandonment. She will no longer be crying, weeping, and begging for you to understand how much she loves you and wants to work things out. She instead, will be watching you in amazement and wondering how to hire an attorney."
He wants to fight. He wants the drama and the ******** because it helps create a diversion and allows him to continue drinking.
Great. I'm going to make the kids suit up and shovel the drive with me.
I Love Who I Am
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
You guessed this one? Naive most likely.
He didn't even show. Left the kids waiting.
I'm so glad i took them outside in the first snowstorm of the season. We had fun, but they were asking where AH was. I just said, I don't know, he said he'd be here.
I am, today, very committed to the following things.
Keeping a consistent, positive "I've got it covered," attitude with my kids.
Taking my time to make deliberate, honest decisions. Being sure, 100% sure, that my choice is what I believe to be the just and honorable thing to do.
Take action.
Release attachment to outcome.
I'm so glad i took them outside in the first snowstorm of the season. We had fun, but they were asking where AH was. I just said, I don't know, he said he'd be here.
I am, today, very committed to the following things.
Keeping a consistent, positive "I've got it covered," attitude with my kids.
Taking my time to make deliberate, honest decisions. Being sure, 100% sure, that my choice is what I believe to be the just and honorable thing to do.
Take action.
Release attachment to outcome.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: California, USA
Posts: 293
lillamy:
Feel free to call the cops on him.
Sitting at home getting drunk is one thing.
Driving drunk, there's no excuse for.
Keep those children close. Hugs.
When my AH was in rehab, during couple's counseling, I was being really challenged on my role as a codie and being "controlling." I was very annoyed (but now looking back I am very grateful). I was frustrated (at that time) that some of the sessions were becoming about me, not my AH! I was thinking, "I am not the alcoholic here!" I remember asking the counselor if my husband wanted to spend time with my daughter while he was under the influence(one drop or one case of alcohol) why shouldn't I intervene and not let him drive with her? I had a responsibility to insure her safety (even if that was my being "controlling" yet again!) The counselor did not hesitate, looked at me and said, "If that happens, call the police!" When lillamy, you posted the aforementioned passage, I thought, "Whoa!"
I think you are handling things well, considering. One of my "boundaries" ( I haven't had to "enforce" it since my RAH has not relapsed & hope I will never have to) is "no more spending time with our daughter if he is under the influence and certainly not driving." One of my options is calling the police.
Live,
I didn't get a chance to respond to your other thread but I too have this thing about "alcohol" (and now "marijuana.") I know there are "recreational" or "social" users (alcohol or mj). However, because I grew up with alcohol being "bad." (My dad couldn't drink socially. If he drank, he'd binge. He has been sober 25 years and has had long periods of sobriety throughout my childhood). So, I don't have a healthy outlook on alcohol. If you don't have to drink, why drink? I'm working on that view. Not everyone who drinks is an A or will become an A (but for me all I know are A's and those who may not necessarily be A's but are borderline dependent on/abusers of alcohol). I know people can enjoy a glass or two of wine at dinner or get quite tipsy on occasion without being an alcoholic. For me, alcohol has always been so "evil!" (Funny --not really-- I was drawn to my AH like a powerful magnetic force & married him. . . )
Feel free to call the cops on him.
Sitting at home getting drunk is one thing.
Driving drunk, there's no excuse for.
Keep those children close. Hugs.
When my AH was in rehab, during couple's counseling, I was being really challenged on my role as a codie and being "controlling." I was very annoyed (but now looking back I am very grateful). I was frustrated (at that time) that some of the sessions were becoming about me, not my AH! I was thinking, "I am not the alcoholic here!" I remember asking the counselor if my husband wanted to spend time with my daughter while he was under the influence(one drop or one case of alcohol) why shouldn't I intervene and not let him drive with her? I had a responsibility to insure her safety (even if that was my being "controlling" yet again!) The counselor did not hesitate, looked at me and said, "If that happens, call the police!" When lillamy, you posted the aforementioned passage, I thought, "Whoa!"
I think you are handling things well, considering. One of my "boundaries" ( I haven't had to "enforce" it since my RAH has not relapsed & hope I will never have to) is "no more spending time with our daughter if he is under the influence and certainly not driving." One of my options is calling the police.
Live,
I didn't get a chance to respond to your other thread but I too have this thing about "alcohol" (and now "marijuana.") I know there are "recreational" or "social" users (alcohol or mj). However, because I grew up with alcohol being "bad." (My dad couldn't drink socially. If he drank, he'd binge. He has been sober 25 years and has had long periods of sobriety throughout my childhood). So, I don't have a healthy outlook on alcohol. If you don't have to drink, why drink? I'm working on that view. Not everyone who drinks is an A or will become an A (but for me all I know are A's and those who may not necessarily be A's but are borderline dependent on/abusers of alcohol). I know people can enjoy a glass or two of wine at dinner or get quite tipsy on occasion without being an alcoholic. For me, alcohol has always been so "evil!" (Funny --not really-- I was drawn to my AH like a powerful magnetic force & married him. . . )
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Join Date: Apr 2009
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I called. He'd been drinking. I told him to bring them home or I was coming to get them.
He was drinking and you told him to bring them home???!!! In your car??? He was bad enough for you to demand that he bring them home because you didn't want him around them but he was ok to drive them home???? Seems to me that your behavior was just as deplorable as his.
He was drinking and you told him to bring them home???!!! In your car??? He was bad enough for you to demand that he bring them home because you didn't want him around them but he was ok to drive them home???? Seems to me that your behavior was just as deplorable as his.
I Love Who I Am
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
I Love Who I Am
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
I gave him a ride to work, he was quite snarky with me, but I acted dumb like I didn't hear him.
he texted me later saying, "sorry for being a jerk, I'm really upset."
Seriously, the greatest gift this program offers me is the ability to NOT obsess and stay angry about things I have no control over. Not get hooked. with this skill, I can solve ALL of my problems and be stable for my kids.
he texted me later saying, "sorry for being a jerk, I'm really upset."
Seriously, the greatest gift this program offers me is the ability to NOT obsess and stay angry about things I have no control over. Not get hooked. with this skill, I can solve ALL of my problems and be stable for my kids.
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,059
lately, i've been celebrating small victories. if i have a small success in a direction i'm working towards, i take note of it and commend myself.
so, well done transformie on not reacting to him in the car ride to work.
and congratulations on going on in the first snow rather than stewing over his no-show.
so, well done transformie on not reacting to him in the car ride to work.
and congratulations on going on in the first snow rather than stewing over his no-show.
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