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How long do you send the Holiday card/present?

Old 12-09-2010, 11:44 AM
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How long do you send the Holiday card/present?

Addressing holiday cards today and feeling pretty empty - I'm pretty confident my AB won't be sending one back. I don't think he and his wife will send my kids a present either (even tho I sent one to his).

It just feels empty.
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Old 12-09-2010, 11:46 AM
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As I said on your other thread...

Many time, our good deeds aren't reciprocated, but that doesn't necessarily mean we should stop. If you feel resentment that they don't reciprocate, then perhaps you should stop. But, if it makes you feel good to send a gift to their children, then by all means continue. After all, it's not the kids' fault.
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Old 12-09-2010, 12:30 PM
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One of my friends told me that after her divorce, she would call XAH on their children's birthdays and say, "Just want to thank you for the most beautiful things we created in our marriage, and remind you that whatever else we did wrong, we will always have our boys. And I will always be grateful to you for that." He never responded. And it always hurt her terribly.

But she keeps making the calls, because she wants to.

I think you do what you do because you want to do it. Like Suki said -- not expecting a response. Hugs to you.
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Old 12-09-2010, 01:14 PM
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Well, as our divorce was going through the courts I made my soon to be aexh a cd of salsa music for Christmas or his birthday, I don't remember. Then I decided I liked the music so much that I would just keep it for myself (which sounds selfish as I reread this, but let's face it: a lump of coal would have been a more appropriate gift anyway). That was the end of presents between us.

Now, I'll help my daughter get or make small presents for her dad and his gf. Sometimes I get similar gifts in return from my daughter courtesy of their household, sometimes not. It's ok either way.
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Old 12-09-2010, 02:15 PM
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To me, Christmas is more about the giving. If someone can't or won't reciprocate, that's not really any of your doing. You do what you want to do now. Feel that power!
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Old 12-09-2010, 03:01 PM
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My younger brother is a selfish jerk. Thinks the world owes him something. I'm not involved enough in his life to know whether he is an alcoholic or not. It doesn't matter.

I send his kids Christmas presents every year. He never sends anything to mine. I don't care. I want my niece and nephew to know I think about and care about them, regardless of their father.

L
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Old 12-09-2010, 07:37 PM
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As luck would have it, a package arrived on our doorstep tonight (we celebrate Hanukkah and it ended last night) - gifts for my kids from their Aunt, Uncle and cousin. I'm sure my AB's wife bought the gifts. I'm happy for my kids and they were happy to have received gifts.
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