Sally

Hello there friends

I went to my second Alanon meeting, I was late and questioned whether to go in, but I did.
We were working on the 10th step, I found this interesting because I looked at the 10th step as kind of self defeating.....where we went over our mistakes and dwelled on them in order not to do them again....or so that we would be better be able to support our A's shortcomings.
What I learned is that step 10 is sort of a self cleansing, where we unload.....our burdens often, each day.....maybe inorder to find peace and tranquility within ourselfs....it's self care and dealing issues immediatly rather than letting them build up.
Through these meetings I am finding an awsume connection with my higher power. I have been praying the last few years but I feel a stronger connection and faith coming over me....with this the fear seems to be deminishing.
I was thinking as I got home and gathered the dishes and laundry thrown about the house..I thought to myself how did things get so messed up...I looked at the clutter and thought , it kind of represents my life right now. And how overwhelming the mess looked. I thought also about our higher power only giving us as much as we can handle...and I thougt yes if this were an overwhelming pile of stones....that just looked imposible to move I might feel defeated and think the load too much for me....so how do we tackle a huge mountain of rocks.......One rock at a time. It came to me when we have an overwhelming huge problem, break it down one step at a time......

does that make any sense to anyone ? It certainly sounded much better in my mind...

regards Sally

JT

(((Sally)))

I makes amazing sense because revovery is an amazing thing. It is fluid...ever changing...and continuously moving forward if we do some simple things.

Hugs,
JT

Daffodil

Wow, your second meeting and already you're seeing how it can work for you....
I am so very happy for you Sally.Thanks for sharing an awwhaw with us...

Consider yourself hugged.
Sending happy thoughts.

Sally

Often when I was in my co-dependent group the first time around I was so emerged in the pain of my marriage, I couldn't think straight, and nothing made sense to me...Let go.....everyone told me, and I just didn;t understand what they meant. I was so frustrated and angry, I thought I knew exactly what the problem was it was all caused by his drinking and I couldn't believe the lack of resources out there for my A. I just wanted someone to take over and fix him or atleast tell me how. NOthing seemed to make sense at all. I remember being so angry and frustrated because My peers in the group were so calm in their remarks and it seemed they knew somekind of information or shortcut or even the answer to my agony....And I just wanted someone to clue me in.....tell me what you learned....help me...Mostly because my mind was so clouded I couldn't think straigt.
I like to share what I've learned at the Alanon just incase, their is someone else out there who just wants to know.....the conclusion I came to .....or the way it helped me.
I do believe that their are no accidental meetings, people come into your life for a reason...and I believe this experence for me has an higher purpose.....I need to go through what I am going through to travel forward in my journey....for what ever reason....I am being schooled for something much bigger than me....So I look at it as a privlidge, rather than a burden....my higher power must have great faith in me......He must know something about me that I don't.
When I think of it that way, I feel awsume, full of faith....hopeful..and that Iam not alone.....

I'am starting to like me again.....

regards

Gabe

Thanks for the reminder that we can only whittle away at our messes one chunk at a time. When I feel overwhelmed, it is because I am thinking about the future and not living in the present. When I slow down and live "just for today", things work much better. Thanks for your share about Step 10. It did me a world of good to read what you wrote.
Peace,
Gabe

Sally

Thanks for your reply

I too get scared when I think of the future, You're right when you think of only today it does make a difference. It takes a load off,
I find it very hard to do that though....you've given me something big to work on also.......
So far I have a overload of information that seems to be making sence to me,. Just listening to the women at alanon makes an incredible difference for me.....I'am sure you've all heard this many times But I wish I had started going long ago..I could of saved myself so much agony.
But ......we can not change the past....we can only live in the presence.......see I'am learning....

regards

Ann

Great post, Sally. And it just keeps getting better and better.

I don't know where I would be today without my meetings and program. I just know that I am grateful to have found what I was looking for - peace and serenity.

Hugs
Ann