mermaidgirl

Hey Gang...when I leave a thread here, as I type I imagine you all in my living room (just a visual I thought you'd all like)...

I am struggling, folks. Yup. My recent posts were about all the married guys that have been hitting on me MORE recently, now that word is out that I am going through this divorce. For the record-it has happened forever. Because of all of your posts; some of them just plain painful-I have had no option but to hold a mirror up to myself. I have cut off the relationships (wasn't sleeping with them) from the married guys. It has left me frustrated-and wondering about a lot of things...but, I digress, because this is not what this thread is really about.

My STBXRAH is refusing to settle...and I now believe he has manipulated his attorney into not talking with my attorney. He has going after windmills where he thinks I am hiding money. Nothing could be further from the truth. The agony of continuing to submitting my financials-over and over again-only for his side to come back and say-nope, something is missing, is getting the best of me. The agony that I put him thru school-thinking "we" were doing this together, still crushes me. I cried the whole way home...not understanding...angry with God. Wondering when will it end; and how. I know-I cannot control all of that-I am well aware of it, before you codies hop on my back about it. I have offered the olive branch [I]even after he metaphorically spit in my face[I].

Bottom line is I will probably have to pay big...and that doesn't bother me so much as this man will not even say what he [I]wants[I]. It seems like it is still a game to him. I imagine him with sticks and mice on the ends and he just plays with them until they finally give up or give in. This situation is so twisted-we don't even know what he wants...

Sorry this thread doesn't seems to be going anywhere...I guess my bottom line is I want to move on in my life; and it has almost been a year and we gove gotten NOWHERE. We are still more than a year away from a contested court date (in fact we don't even have a date yet)...no settlement in mediation...I just feel lost and I feel like God is just waiting for me to figure something out on my own for some reason and I wish I knew what it was.

DYankee

Dear Mermaidgirl: I feel for you, having to go through this. Imagine, courts allowing this kind of behavior! But they do. Keep in mind, though, that this is just the legal system finalizing the decision you've already made. It's over. I'll tell you a little secret: despite having to struggle to raise my four children with no child support, I STILL would gladly pay him $100 a week to be rid of him. Haven't changed my mind, and it's been almost 45 years, mostly happy ones. Please try not to agonize so much; it's not good for YOU.

Hugs

suki44883

His attorney HAS to talk to your attorney. You should not have contact with his attorney. Everything they want to see should come from your attorney and vise versa. That's the whole point of having attorneys representing us. It's not your job to negotiate, it's your attorney's job.