SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

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seakro 12-06-2010 03:41 AM

funny isnt it?
i had previously posted on questioning whether this woman i know is an alcoholic or not... mainly because of the lack of emotional distance...

the emotions she express in order are anger, (when i question our relationship and love),excitement for drink or having a drink, and then any other emotion (caring,kindness, etc)

i travel alot with work and we are separated by the coasts... when im away i yearn for a kind note or picture from her...recently she asked me to pick up something from isreal which I did... a nice pendant. ive asked to if she wouldnt mind sending me a picture or it, id like to see it on her.... the responce then was something snippy like i dont change necklaces everday...

anyway here i am analyizing again and another example popped up, that i was thinking about this morning... she is celebrating the Jewish holidays and she sends me a picture of several bottles of booze her brother gave her... the comment was "my brother loves me!".... now it just makes me wonder again, what her priorities in life are. sadly i believe there is a lot of meaning to something this simple when i cant get a simple nice note,pic or mms because of my love for her

you can get really wrapped up in alcohloics,their intelligence, defensive reasoning skills and all that! Cant ya?comments?

Learn2Live 12-06-2010 04:24 AM

Yes. And the more selfish things they do, the more it hurts, and the tighter I used to hang on. I am learning and practicing letting go.

Cyranoak 12-06-2010 10:36 AM

Please, please, please...
Find an Al-Anon meeting and go to it. The fact that a person can treat you this way, any person, yet you will "yearn for a kind note or picture from her," is mind-boggling to me.

I have a gift for you once given to me by another:

Find a meeting in Florida

Also, you may consider working with a therapist to find out what attracts you to women who are emotionallly and/or geographically unavailable.

Lastly, I'm in the tribe too, and you know it's very rare to encounter alcoholism in our community. There's a problem here. A big problem.

Take care, and take what you want and leave the rest.


TakingCharge999 12-06-2010 02:05 PM

Hi seakro. That is a huge red flag...
You can't control her
You can't cure her
You didn't cause her problem
The only way I am starting to feel better after knowing someone similar was reading the Stickies at the top of the page (Classic Reading), reading Melody Beatty- codependent no more, and therapy.
I hope you take steps to feel better. Regardles of what she does, she is not the answer to anything.

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