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I just do not understand this disease

Old 12-02-2010, 02:54 PM
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I just do not understand this disease

As some of you may know I've had issues with my email blockage. I was able to create a rule on my email account that now trashes any email from a person with my ex's first name. That should eliminate my problems. At 3:47 today I received this message:

I know I am blocked but for therapy gonna talk. I so miss u. Wish u/I could be what we had both hoped. Time will tell. Where are u in 3 yrs? Me? God, I love u!
Do not worry! I did not write back!!

I just do not understand this disease. This man was so hateful to me and so detached when I finally left. And he was so progressed, he just wasn't interested in ANYTHING anymore. And he was hateful and detached for MANY months before I finally left. My heart was broken at least over a year ago and I moved on. But with his behavior, you would think that he would have been glad to finally be rid of me.

The other piece - I wouldn't put up with him drinking at lunch which either he is doing that or leaving work early and getting started. I'm pretty certain he's been drinking when he wrote this at 3:47. Towards the end of our relationship, I noticed he seemed to be trying to get out of work a lot earlier...by 4 to start drinking. It really scares me how low he's going to go and I know all I can do is stay away. We are in the same industry and I used to work at his company so when/if something happens I will probably hear about it.
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Old 12-02-2010, 03:23 PM
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Goldengirl, it's almost sounding like your exabf is starting to stalk you! Can you change your email to another server?

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Old 12-02-2010, 04:31 PM
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He has stalked me before. At my job. I went to HR at his job and he was almost fired. I don't want it to sound too dramatic, I do not believe he would do anything psycho...his is just emotional stalking and BS.

Maybe I should set him up with someone, lol.

As for closing the email account, I hate to do that since I've had that account for 10 years but I wondered about doing that earlier today.
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Old 12-02-2010, 05:24 PM
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I have to be careful that I'm not sending mixed signals when I set boundaries.

If memory serves me correctly, didn't you just attend an AA meeting with him recently?
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Old 12-02-2010, 05:30 PM
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I did yesterday morning. I decided that I could not do anything else - he is on his own.

I'm sorry but I don't think I am hanging on to his email. I cannot control what another person does. I cannot NOT have feelings when they do things like that. I don't think there is anything wrong with that.
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Old 12-02-2010, 05:31 PM
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And I don't want someone who abuses me. I am in no way attracted to this man anymore. Have you ever even been in an abusive relationship? It does horrible wonders to your self-esteem. I am proud of myself for leaving and doing so with dignity and I'm not going to let you bring me down.
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Old 12-02-2010, 05:45 PM
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Originally Posted by NYCDoglvr View Post
When we want someone who abuses us it's called masochism.
It seems attention needs to be called to this message entirely too much lately:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ease-read.html

As a survivor of domestic abuse, I know how painful it is, and will never judge someone in that situation.
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