1SweetGirl

Hi everyone-

I just recently ended a four year relationship with my now XABF. I left him almost 3 months ago. I am a social drinker. Having one or two drinks during social gathering.

My question is this- Before I ended things with him, I would find myself getting that "sick" feeling in my gut, everytime I saw him drink. Now I find myself doing that when I go out to dinner with friends or family. If I see a stranger drinking alchohol or a friend drinking, I get that feeling in my stomach. It's a "viseral" reaction per my therapist. I am literally sickened at the sight of alcohol. I've thrown out what alcohol I had in my house recently.

Does this happen to anyone else or is it just me?

nodaybut2day

Yep, I still get freaked out if I have to go into a liquor store (a friend once needed to drop by to get a bottle of wine). I simply stay away from the triggering situation and know that eventually, it'll pass. There are just too many emotional associations for my brain to ignore.

Thumper

Not with social drinking but I do when I see someone that has drank to much. It is almost like a fear - not fear of physical harm - just a feeling of anxiety that I am watching a bad thing.

You know - just now, as I was typing this, I was trying to really imagine the feeling. My face is even showing anxiety right now. Guess what - it is a desperate feeling that I either need to get away or save something. That I need to do something. Hmm. That says a lot. I am going to be more aware of that now. I should probably figure out that started. you are right. It is a visceral reaction that fires up before we even put thought into it.

sirpher

While I don't get that reaction when others drink alcohol, I do get that "visceral" reaction when I see my STBXAW drink. A weird piece of this for me is that she uses the same container for alcohol and for ice tea, so that even when she is not drinking alcohol, I get the same "visceral" reaction.

SteppingUp

Hi SweetGirl,

It's not just you! I get very anxious whenever I'm around drunk people. They're unpredictable in a bad way!

I guess living with a few binge drinkers in college and having a very sick mother who was on prescription opiates caused that!

I'll have a beer now and again but I don't think I'll ever get used to being around intoxicated people.

keepinon

I think it's pretty normal and may deintensify (is that a word? )with time. My outlook on drinking has changed the more I learn about addiction. Things that were perfectly ok with me , now are not.We are super-sensitized after the stuff we've been thru and learned.

Phoenixthebird

1SweetGirl, It's NOT the alcohol that I HATE......it's the BEHAVIOR!

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Jadmack25

Feel same way when I hone in on someone getting into drunk zone. If it is possible I just get the heck out of there.

Not going back into that "taking care of" mode again with anyone who even resembles an A, only looking at MY needs now. I don't need another bout with A problems.

crystal226

I notice something similar with smell. I call it my "beer nose." I can tell if anyone has had even the slightest bit of alcohol. Wherever I go I smell it...at the store, with friends and family and it seems to put me into a sort of "fight or flight" mode. It is hard to feel positive even about "social" drinking when you have seen alcohol's negative effects. I hope someday I will be able to appreciate what normal drinking is because to me right now no amount of drinking feels ok or normal.

HoopNinja

For me it depends who I am with. If I am with good friends and they have a drink or two I seem fine with it. If I am around people I do not know I have that same visceral reaction. If anyone has more than 2 drinks it intensifies and I need to get out of where I am.

Scary thing is--my kids get the same thing. If my oldest son sees anyone with alcohol in their hand he freaks out. It has been hard trying to explain to him that not everyone who has a drink is an alcoholic--but of course he associates the booze with the behavior. For him it is anyone with any amount of alcohol. He will point it out to me instantly and want to leave. Thing is--my friends know this and never ever drink around my kids. They know it scares them.

I remember going out to eat with my real estate agent after I bought my house and she ordered a drink. I ordered limeade and my son thought it had alcohol in it. It took the restaurant manager coming over and talking to him (we were standing in the entryway of the restaurant while he was crying and angry-he wanted to leave and I was assuring him there was nothing in my limeade) to convince him there was nothing but limeade in my glass. She got down to his level and started to talk to him about knowing how he felt because she had an uncle who drank and it is hard to believe someone when they are not drinking. Then it dawned on me-she thought I was an alcoholic and my son was mad at me because I was drinking. Yeesh! How do you explain to a total stranger that you are not the alcoholic but the responsible parent but your child is terrified you may turn into the other alcoholic??!!

lillamy

I think it's simply the same thing as when you've survived a car accident, you'll be freaked out by getting in the car afterwards for a while. I have the same reaction. I used to be a social drinker, but after leaving XAH, I don't keep alcohol in the house and I have no desire to drink or be around people who do.