With My Girlfriend In Rehab...

Old 12-01-2010, 07:32 AM
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With My Girlfriend In Rehab...

Hey everyone,
I think my few friends are sick of hearing me talk so i've turned to online help and support. World, lend me your ears I have a story for you to hear about my girlfriend (Christina <3) and me. But first, i have to go back to the begining. About two and a half years ago I was a very heavy alcoholic. I found myself stealing from kids at school to pay for a nightly trip to the liqour store. After i'd finish a pint or so of whiskey i'd fantisize of killing myself to end the routine. I made a few attempts but I was obviously never successful. This was my life for about a year... untill i met Christina. For once in my life i felt like i was genuinely cared about, and she made me happy. She also lives 8 miles away from my house and public transportaion isn't exactly cheap for someone without a job so i eventualy stopped drinking so I could see her. Our relationship was very fast paced and in aboout a month of dating I practicaly lived at her house, if I wasnt at school I was with her. Things were never better... not all good things last and 9 months later she relapsed to her drug addiction while i was away on vacation and got into a good deal of trouble with the police. When I got back we spent two weeks together and the jaws of life couldnt separate us untill the rehab van rolled up in front of her apartment to take her away... Shes been gone for three months and i feel like the grim reaper is following me around waiting for me to jump off a building. I have hardly any friends cause they all either left for college or havnt forgave me for a years disapearence with my love. In no way possible will i harm myself knowing shes still out there and i feel as if i owe her my life. I love this girl more than myself and especialy everything else and all i do now is lay in bed waiting for her to come back home (3 more months) Any similar experiences? or feedback?
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Old 12-01-2010, 07:39 AM
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Hi and welcome...........can I ask how you stopped drinking? On your own or with a program like AA?
Have you ever considered going to Al Anon.
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Old 12-01-2010, 07:54 AM
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I think i was only mentally drinking so much because i felt like no one cared about what i did but after me and my girlfriend started dating i knew she cared and she was there for me durring the withdrawl. Like she put cold towles on my forehead when i was shaking in a cold sweat. So I quit on my own but she helpped more than I thought anyone ever could
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Old 12-01-2010, 08:43 AM
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You have to give up drinking for YOU not for her - just like she has to give up her addiction for HER and not you. Sad thing but true. My ABF, while I love him to bits - has to focus on himself not me as we can only go forward if it is a non toxic relationship. Focus on you while she is away - try new things - achieve goals you never thought possible - and - if you are still drinking - get help. Live for YOU and the rest, they say will come right.
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Old 12-01-2010, 01:54 PM
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It sounds like to me you are an individual that is susceptible to addictions. It sounds like you substituted your addiction to alcohol for your girlfriend!

An individual that is susceptible to addictions may switch from one addiction to the other or even sustain multiple addictions at different times. The addictions may include drug abuse or addiction to alcohol, pornography and certain activities, such as gambling, video games, etc. Such personalities switch to other enjoyable activities, the moment they are deprived of enjoyment in their previous addiction. An individual is considered to be at the risk of developing such addictions when he/she exudes aggression, anxiety, depression or lack of self-control and does not know how to manage his/her emotions. The people suffering from addictive personalities are very sensitive to stress. They find
it highly intimidating to tolerate frustrating situations, even if it is for a very short duration. Such people often lack self-esteem, show impulsive behavior and usually have a sense of heightened level of stress. Mood swings is another visible symptom of addictive personalities. Addictive individuals feel highly insecure, when it comes to relationships. They may often find it difficult to make commitments in relationships or trust their beloved. They constantly seek approval of others. As a result, misunderstandings might creep in, which in turn, would ruin their relationships. People suffering from addictive personality disorder usually undergo depression and anxiety

The main reason behind such behavior is that they are fearful of being caught. The feeling of isolation often haunts people facing the problem of addiction. To substitute the lack of personal relationships, they turn towards drugs, smoking, alcohol consumption, or the like, thinking that such harmful substances are "quick-fix" solutions for their life's problems.

Counseling is the best remedy for individuals susceptible to addictions. Psychotherapy is another way to treat addictive personality disorder. The therapy is aimed at addressing the emotional underpinning of the individual, because the majority of the addictions stem from the person’s inability to handle stressful situations, anger and other strong emotions. You have started on your road to recovery by posting here on SR!

A journey of a 1,000 miles begins with the first step.

Only God can turn a mess into a message.

We aren't bad people trying to get good. We're sick people trying to get well.

The disease is progressive. So is recovery.

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Old 12-01-2010, 02:08 PM
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My boyfriend will be in recovery for many many months (9). You miss her. That is natural. I miss him but like others are saying, use this time to focus on yourself and your sobriety. Do you go to AA meetings? If you are healthy when she is out, it will be the best thing for both of you. You will be working on yourself while she is working on herself. If you stay down and depressed in her absence, that isn't supporting her right? Won't she want you to be healthy? If you stay down and depressed you may start drinking heavily again and if she is sober, she won't be able to hang out with you because it will risk her recovery. That is why you need to take care of YOU. You benefit, she benefits and it will all be ok.

IF you are really despondent, talk to someone.. lots of places offer free counseling. Definately seek out AA for yourself, you won't feel as isolated in her absence. They've been where you have been.
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Old 12-01-2010, 08:19 PM
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Time goes by fast. I started my rehab journey back in 2008. I can't believe it's been 2 years already. I'm still clean and I'm happy. I hope that when she gets back the two of you can continue to be happy and be supportive of each other's recovery. Babyblue had some great advice, just work on you, take care of you so that you can be the best you.
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