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Feeling Guilty..

Old 11-28-2010, 07:48 PM
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Feeling Guilty..

Maybe its just that time of year ..or maybe its a Jewish thing (yes, I'm Jewish) but I'm feeling guilty that my AB begged me to come back to the beach house w my hubbie and 2 kids. He really begged - said he'd watch the kids (his kid was pinching mine), said he'd do anything, if I could just do this one thing for the kids and for our parents...

Now, we (AB and I) haven't spoken in 3 months.. my parents are in denial about my brother's addictions (alcohol and cocaine) and wanted me to apologize for leaving in a "rude" way...and I'm feeling guilt...guilt that my brother begged and I said no, guilt that my kids are out a nephew (at least for now). Wondering if my kids will get a Hanukkah gift this year from them and knowing that just b/c I sent one doesn't mean my kids will get one back. I know I can't expect anything but it still hurts.

Wondering how to deal with it all...

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Old 11-28-2010, 08:23 PM
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Being Jewish doesn't corner the market on guilt. We Catholics have a lot of that too!

Did I at least make you smile?

Your AB has in effect thrown his own guilt on to your side of the court, and you picked it up.

It's his guilt over his addictions (alcohol and cocaine), his guilt over his life choices, and I highly suggest you throw that guilt right back over on his side of the court where it belongs.

You are standing up for what is right in your life, and I'm proud of you.
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Old 11-28-2010, 09:35 PM
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If the guilt isn't serving a purpose......let it go.

gentle hugs
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Old 11-28-2010, 10:04 PM
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I understand completely.

And it's all a matter of perspective.

You have permission not to subject your children to brutality.

You have permission to walk away from pain.

You have permission to feel good.

You have permission to focus on your own family's health and happiness.

You have permission to allow pleasure and eliminate pain.

You have permission to breathe.

You have permission to separate yourself from those who make you feel bad.


How do I know?
What is my authority?

because you're breathing.

that's proof enough that something greater than us all
thinks you're worth it.


There's like ... three guilt threads up today.
i'm wondering if it's a by product of leftover turkey?



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Old 11-29-2010, 09:46 PM
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Old 11-30-2010, 10:58 AM
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Thanks for all the helpful words everyone... and humor too!
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Old 12-02-2010, 09:17 AM
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I completely understand guilt too but when I need to step away from toxic people I remember the answer to the prayer I sent out about how to do this and the answer came back to me as "don't throw pearls before swine". I think that's somewhere in the Bible but I'm not sure where. But, it tells me that I have much to give, it's not appreciated by those who would eat me up, and why waste my gifts on them. Hope it helps you. Buy your kids an extra gift if it helps. The best gift you're giving them is protection!
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