If nothing else today, be grateful for the positives, wherever you find them...
 

And they will grow!


Happy Thanksgiving. I am Grateful for everyone here!

Thank you everyone for sharing your stories. I can't believe how alone I felt for years. Hearing your stories od sadness, pain, anxiety, fear, struggle, joy, hope, recovery, truimph, second chances, and self-empowerment have been great sources of strength & support. Thank you, SRF.

And to the A's & those of us family & friends who care so deeply about them, thank you all for the courage to change.

And to those who still can't get to that place to make a change onto the path of recovery (both A's & the friends & family who love them) I will hold you all dear in my heart and work on myself to have patience, kindness & compassion for your struggle. Thank you for your gifts.

I was thinking last night, as I watched my A make an apple pie and a blueberry cheesecake(with chocolate shell), that I can get so myopic in my view of things. I can look for any crack in the veneer...I will be looking at the negatives with a magnifying glass, unable to see the more positive stuff.
He made the pies, apron and all, then he went to a meeting. When he came home, he asked me to sit down with him and help him compile a list. The list was titled, "Things I do"
His list was as follows:
Be a sober person
Be a happy sober person
Wake up at a decent hour
Spend more time with our son
Do sports stuff
Communicate clearly

We laughed, and I made a list.
It was like a dream I thought. I used to imagine us being like this, thinking it was never possible.
This morning our son woke up tooooo early, came in the room, and A just laid there, then got up and went to another room. I was so mad! How could he assume that it would just be me who wakes up, gets him breakfast, sees to him??
I laid back down and stewed. Then I went in and said, " I do not want there to be an assumption that I will just do the things that you dont want to do. I am not a nanny."

he rolled over, smiled at me, and said,
"I am getting there. I am closer than ever. I think you are focusing on the negatives..."

I could not help but smile. He was right. I conceded, but then told him, nonetheless, it is an issue. I know he is working toward things.

I want to remember to focus on those things that I want to expand. It is a good day for that.

Love to everyone.

:tyouThank you for this thread, Buffalo. As I watch my 4-year-old sleeping beside me, so peacefully, I can't help but to be grateful that we are no longer part of a home rampaged by addiction & insanity.

Thanks for sharing that story, Buffalo. Happy Thanksgiving.

yorkie I am also grateful when I get to sleep 10 hours straight and I wake up to a sunny morning... very very quiet. Oh wait. I hear a bird chirping....

No more: insults, lies, constant interruptions throughout the night, etc etc.
Very very thankful now if only my cats were already here..

Thanks for this thread, Buffalo. Hope things with your AH continue to improve and he stays on the path of sobriety. Best wishes to him and your family. I do believe that having two sober,happy, loving parents is the best possible situation for the kids, if this is at all possible. Hope thats what your son gets and you get a happy, sober, supportive, loving spouse. Your AH does sound like he is making the effort.

I have also realised for myself, that it is better for the kids to have one sober, happy parent rather than a miserable codie and an AF. I am grateful for the peaceful and clean home that I currently have for my kids and I. I am also grateful for my new job and my family that supports me.

Wishing everyone a wonderful thanksgiving.