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AH gave his beer to his bestfriend...

Old 11-23-2010, 09:57 AM
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AH gave his beer to his bestfriend...

AH and I are doing very well. He hasn't had a drink in almost two weeks and I know that he has remained dry in the past for three months. I had a dream that he bought wine for "me" for Thanksgiving dinner.

It is awful of me to want to have a good time this holiday season by having a nice glass of red wine w/ my dinner? I feel as though I can't because AH is trying. He has his first AA meeting tomorrow night. I also have Alanon.

I have been eating due to the stress I am under and it doesn't help my program for wanting to lose 20lbs. I have forgiven myself for this weekend binge as I am only human. Working out 5x a week, two children under 3 yrs and an AH is a lot for anyone to deal with. I am not looking for sympathy I am just being honest.

I obviously feel better than last week as our routine is back and the holidays are upon us. I am feeling close to my AH and our children. Very sentimental time of year. Also our son will turn three on Dec 3 and we are planning a big party for him. Nothing else our little one talks about these days but his birthday. AH and I are currently focused on this. I pray it lasts.
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Old 11-23-2010, 11:23 AM
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i think thats great that he's gone that long. embrace the time!! my AH went 5 days and then back to routine..... i cried myself to sleep last night. its a vicious circle.

and dont' worry about your weight at this point. i too fill my despair with food. i eat when i know i don't need to. but my doctor told me not to try and "fix" everything all at once. focus on the most important thing first (which for me is to quit smoking) then worry about the rest later.

And Happy 3rd Birthday to your son.....my baby just turned 25
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wicked (11-23-2010)
Old 11-23-2010, 11:39 AM
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I eat at night after everyone is in bed a lot and just in general when I'm not even hungry. Then I gain weight.

The counselor commented that some people eat like that to fill a spiritual hole and that if I work to fix that, the eating behavior would be much easier to adjust.

We didn't pursue that because at the time weight was falling off me because at the peak of my crazy anxiety of leaving my xah I couldn't eat at all but in the normal life stress, I eat like that.

So I moved and things settled down and now I've gained 40lbs. Ugh.

I'm glad things are falling into place for you. I shared that story just to remind you to not focus on the eating/weight so much, not focus on your dh so much, as focus on your continued recovery. The rest will be easier to address the further along you get with that.
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