Thumper

My nephew is staying with me this weekend. He is 17yo and has been in trouble off and on the last few years. He has used drugs and alcohol, did a short stint in a behavioral unit (I'm not 100% clear on all the details), has a terrible group of friends, and is currently on probation for shop lifting musinex. Apparently musinex is taken in high doses as a recreation drug. Who knew. I officially forbid my children from getting any older.

He is helpful without being asked, polite, easy to get along with, sincerely a good heart. He is a sensitive person and always has been. Blah blah blah. And he totally does not get it. He is gracefully doing his probation but he is just marking his time until he is 18yo and off probation. If I would have let him break his probation here and leave the house, he'd have been off getting high with some kid from here he knows from facebook. He desperately wants to move in with me. He thinks moving is going to be like a do over and everything inside him is going to change -without making any changes in his behavior or choices. He feels invincible as only a 17yo can. Thank god I can see that he does not get it (I can actually see it a mile away) because so help me, 18 months ago I might not have.

He can't move in here. I told him so. He is now looking all depressed curled up on the corner of my couch like a rejected puppy. I have to admit that it is very difficult for me (I have a physical sensation of being tugged on the feeling is so strong) but I am not second guessing myself - thank you SR. I have more work to do but today, I can see my recovery in action.

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest. I'm so sad and hurt for the struggles that lay ahead for him if he doesn't have some kind of awakening.

wicked

Wow, Thumper, I know how those 17 year old invincible teenagers can sulk too.
You are doing great.

Beth

embraced2000

i've raised 4 children who were all seventeen at one time.

the fact the teenagers turn into adult is a proven fact that mankind, truly is great. otherwise, we would get rid of them.

if not for the maternal instinct and the fact that when i looked at them i still could see their little faces peeping around the door and saying "mama???, i just poopied!", i wonder at times if i would have just ate them at birth like an old barn cat.

anyway, at 17 my children were all moody, joyous, wise, stupid, kind, rude,.......all within seconds of each other.

they all turned out to be brillant, successful, and stable persons......but not without some speedbumps.

you are doing great. just love him. he has parents to raise him, right?

Thumper

My friends have both toddlers and teenagers. They joke that the toddlers aren't on the curb because they are cute and the teenagers are to big to bury in the back yard, lol.

Yes he does have parents. Both of them and neither have any addictions or anything like that. He is currently living with his grandma, who babies him but he behaves there so it is OK.

Your right - things change fast. He has decided he'll live and is outside skating around on a sidewalk of new ice.

wicked

embraced2000,
oh yeah, i hear ya! my just turned 18 year old gets mad, and I say something to really make her mad, like, you are so cute when you smile, i love your dimples,
just like when you were a BABY! bwahahahahahaha!

thumper,


you two gave me a big laugh. that might make my teens nervous if i said anything about burying, my pastime is watching true crime solving on tv or reading about it.
(when not working addiction issues)
lets say its a hobby. teehee

Beth

Live

I adore the humor too! and yeah, they all might think I am crazy enough to be headed in that direction too, Wicked as I also read alot of true crime and other sicko stuff.

My favorite for the teens was to tell them: You can tell me no but then I will wait until you really really want something and then I can tell you no too.
They would give me those evil looks and you could see them thinking..would she really do that? yeah, probably, that witch!

LOL

Freedom1990

I know what that physical sensation of being tugged on is like.

I have concerns for my 15-year-old granddaughter now that she has been living with AD for over a year now. I have to get myself back in the moment, and just hand her over to God.

Have faith that God will be watching over your nephew too!

Phoenixthebird

YA! Thumper for standing up for your boundaries.

I have a sister suffering from untreated mental illness that has expressed her feelings with moving in with me. I finally just had to tell her that my AH and I are not getting along right now! Heaven have mercy! That is the last thing I need right now to have two irrational people around me.

Typical Teenagers
Happy, sad, sleepy, mean, Feelings often change, a common act of a typical teen, I find it rather strange.
Talking to a friend, or sending them a text, they talk for hours on end, what’ll they think of next.
They’ll leave their room a mess and give cleaning it a miss, but yes I must confess to also doing this.
They think their folks are ancient, and utterly unfair, the result is to ignore them, before they start to swear.
Their music cracks the ceiling, and makes their parents fume, emotions always reeling, and more time in their room.
Being a teen may seem pretty bad, but from experience I can tell, it’s much worse for the mum and dad, for them its living hell!
© Eddie Gee

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keepinon

Having just had a 17 year old who wasn't "getting" thier addiction I can only commend you for not going there..it can be a REAl looooong road to recovery at that young age.Congrats on being a good example of what a healthy person is for him!