This site is a gift
 

Hi Everyone,

I wanted to just say how thankful I am to be able to come here, read, post, & press the "thank you" button.

I am not a complete newbie to codie recovery, but I realize just how much work I have to do! I wanted to say that I actually "appreciate" some of the tough (or "tough love") postings. I am not sure 15 or 20 years ago I could've understood or appreciated it though. We are all in different places in our journey. I have always felt like I was "too sensitive," absorbing other people's pain & yes trying to help & fix! :cries3: When I get "tough," & even express how I am really feeling (direct, tough, & even mean) then I have felt that I get all this push back & criticism (again, shows how "too sensitive" I am!) :c021: Deep down inside I just want to be acknowledged & validated, I think. In a not-so odd way, I realize how I am very much like the alcoholic/addict in so many ways. I just play out my inner struggles differently.

I am so glad I have SRF to come to. This place is a gift. I came here after my RAH went into recovery & I had long thought about & tinkered with my own co-dependency recovery. I read the posts from those who are in so much pain, lost in darkness, not knowing where to begin & feel the connection. It's nice to finally realize that I was not crazy. All the angst, tension, anger, sadness, hopelessness were real (& part of the insane situation I was in). I also read the posts from those who are well into their recovery,(many who have left their ex-addicts/alcoholics & started new lives) & I hope I can one day get to that kind of calm, content & serenity one day. I feel a lot of hope & gratitude, even as I deal with, cope with, struggle with life in general.

I am learning to listen to my intuition a bit more in a more honest way, thanks to all of you.:thanks:tyou

I have no doubt you will get to that kind of calm, content, and serenity one day too! :)

I was the queen of codependency for far too long, and thank God I have recovery and peace of mind today.

I'm glad you posted, and don't hesitate to share if you have the inclination! :hug:

yorkiegirl,
I had pondered about starting a similar thread, but mine would have been about how my AH doesn't like the tables turned on him. For the longest time my AH has been addicted to the internet, one site or another. He is currently obsessed with writing paradies and posting them on a website. This occupied his thoughts and no one in the family could even hold an intelligent conversation with him. If someone tried to talk to him while he was reading and posting on this website, we would have to constantly repeat ourselves, and then he would only grasp half of the conversation. I used to confront him about this, and he would respond that he was "multi-tasking".

And now it's like I have turned the tables on him once I found SR. I feel like I have gotten "hooked" on SR. However, I believe my being "hooked" on SR is for my
mental health, but it's driving my AH batty! He keeps talking to me as I'm reading and posting here. He even finds things for me to do internet surfing on. I don't believe he knows what I'm doing, he just sees me concentrating on a website. Something I haven't done before. I know that I can't do "multi-tasking" between being on SR and being an active listener.

Willingness comes from the pain, the healing comes from the steps.

Step 1. Surrender
Step 2. Sanity
Step 3. Serenity

There is a difference between “relief” and “recovery”.

Steps 1-3 bring relief
Steps 4-9 bring recovery......
Steps 10-12 maintain it......

Steps 6 & 7:

Step 6 Be willing, Be ready and let God do the work

Step 7 Humbly ask (acknowledge who I am in relation to God)

I become more aware of of my inner self with each step I take.

The steps are meant to be worked with another and with God.