a difficult weekend

Old 11-21-2010, 05:22 AM
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a difficult weekend

I spent yesterday helping at our church for our school Gingerbread shop, making crafts for the kids at our school to buy for their families. It was nice to be with friends, but the reality of being separated from my AH is starting to hit me hard. I guess it is just being around people who have good loving relationships. Then I went to mass at 5 with my dad and his girlfriend for the first time in a month or so and that was more stressful than I thought. I almost fainted at one point during the service after I stood up. Last February, I fainted at home after getting up in the middle of the night, went to the bathroom and got up. After a trip to the ER, they just said I had a syncope event, must have been dehydrated and had a virus. A week later it happened again just before I was to give my witness at a Christ Renews His Parish retreat weekend, where I basically tell my life story and how it relates to my Higher Power. I ended up going home after I gave the speech. Could this fainting be stress related? I have had all of the tests on my heart which is in great shape. Just found it interesting. I guess I am just having a bad weekend, after a good week. I was very fatigued last night after my son and I came home from church/dinner out with my dad and just went to bed. This morning I am weepy and sad, had some bad dreams too. I think I will start a journal to get all of this out of my system.
Yesterday morning was interesting too. After the night before when my son was with friends and ended up at a second friends house to spend the night, I talked with my AH about it and he said he didn't know my son went to a girl's house. When I asked my son about it, he said he called dad. When my son text dad after I asked him, dad called him and then wanted to talk to me saying he knew about my son going to the girl's house. Same old distorting my words to make them his own. I began doubting it if I even heard him say he didn't know during our conversation on the phone that morning. So I have decided that all discussion between us will be through email so there is no argument about who said what.

This is so hard.................
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Old 11-21-2010, 05:47 AM
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I am sorry that you are having some physical anomaly. Just keep checking in with the MD. Stress is capable of all kinds of symptoms but let the MD tell you that one.

Are you eating and sleeping? At the beginning of my separation I pretty much ate very little and slept very little. It made it hard to get through the work day for me. Gradually in time, I got my appetite back and the sleep is still a struggle (but better).

I stuggled with the idea initially of how to communicate with my AH after the separation too for the reason you stated. We don't have kids together but we had bills in common (which are finally separated) and we work at the same place (our offices are next to each other). For the most part, I drew a line that we only talk at work when necessary and only about work related things. He has not stuck to that rule. I found that email was best. Recently we tried talking on the phone and it was just a nightmare. I not only get the head spinning thing, but I realized that every phone call has either been to hurt me or tell me I am wrong. Who wants to hear that one.

With the holidays I was out yesterday and ended up running back home. It is still an effort for me to alone but there are always people here to talk to on the forum or our chat room. People always make me laugh in there.
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Old 11-21-2010, 05:50 AM
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Please drink more water.
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Old 11-21-2010, 05:51 AM
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It is hard. I have a lot of friends also who have good marriages. But I just have to keep reminding myself that I am better off without him. Just because your married, doesn't mean your happy. And being divorced is not the end of the world. But the longing for what could have, should have been, is what gets to me at times.
On the other hand, a friend came up to me the other day, and told me that she just found out that T and I were not together anymore, and that I looked happier. She looked me right in the eye,and told me that she was sorry that we had to come to that point,though.
Please take care of you. Look into the being dehydrated theory, drink your water, take your vitamins, like B12, for stress, and if you still keep fainting, keep pursuing it with the doctor. Don't let them blow you off. It could be stress, but then again, it could be something else. The Lord's Blessings on you ,H
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Old 11-21-2010, 05:53 AM
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Lots of stress in your personal life, and, this is in general a busy time of year.

When I am stressed my minears (vertigo) kicks in, actually stress is my only trigger for this nasty disease.

Try and get some down time, take a long bath, read, take a walk, be kind to yourself.
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