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Drinking around Children

Old 11-18-2010, 03:49 PM
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Drinking around Children

This might sound dumb to some of you - but I did not grow up in a family nor around little children.

My opinion of drinking around children was however, the times I was around someone who was drunk, I was uncomfortable. So drinking around children is something I had decided I would not do.

I recently left my ABF for good. One of our issues that we couldn't agree on was about his friends, a married couple who had a two-year-old and one on the way. They wanted to continue to get drunk - I mean plastered entire bottle drinking drunk - every weekend. The pregnant wife wasn't getting drunk but she was drinking wine everyday, claiming her doctor said it's okay. (of course there's lots of conflicting articles out there about that.) I had said that I didn't want to be around all of that, nor did I want to be drinking around their little girl and the one on the way when it arrived.

My ex insisted that he didn't care and was going to continue. Obviously the married couple thinks it's okay.

How does everyone else feel about that? Maybe some people don't think that's a big deal. But I felt like this could be contributing to their little's girl future - maybe she would be an alcoholic or marry one when she grew up, and I didn't want to be a part of that.
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Old 11-18-2010, 04:04 PM
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You are right, they are wrong, end of story...

...and good job moving on from the situation. I envy your resolve.

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Old 11-18-2010, 04:17 PM
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This makes me angry. This wind drinking pregnant needs to be stopped.
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Old 11-18-2010, 04:53 PM
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This makes me angry. This wind drinking pregnant needs to be stopped.
Well...today she had the baby. He sent me a quick email to tell me. 8 lbs 10oz. He didn't say the baby had defects or anything so I assume it was okay. I worry though that emotionally the baby is born to be messed up though. I don't think they even think about things like that. That's not as important as partying and making sure Number One has fun.

On a sidenote - I sent a short "Good to hear and Thanks" note. And I've reblocked his email. I did want to know when the baby was born and all was well. But I realized after getting this email to let me know that THEY were okay...no one ever seems to ask if I was okay or what is going on with me. And so I decided that on top of not needing his drama should he start up...I need not know anything anymore and to end any updates.

Good luck to them all and happy holidays, lol.
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Old 11-18-2010, 05:07 PM
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When I was a young kid my parents had one drink a night. I never saw them drunk. To me alcohol was not a mystery or a taboo. I never really thought about it.

However, getting drunk is a completely different matter. I do think that it's absolutely wrong, irresponsible and unsafe for parents to get drunk in front of their kids.

I know that it makes me very uncomfortable and anxious to see anyone drunk. I can only imagine the anxiety of a child watching drunken behavior from the people who are supposed to be responsible for their care! There's a very real chance that those kids will also start drinking early on thinking, "Hey, my folks do it!"

I've all but stopped drinking in the last 5 months (maybe 1 drink per month) since my W has been drinking heavily. One of us has to be the parent!
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Old 11-18-2010, 05:18 PM
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But I felt like this could be contributing to their little's girl future - maybe she would be an alcoholic or marry one when she grew up, and I didn't want to be a part of that.
Oh yes, we marry what we know and grow up with. I did.
Have you read the board here about ACOA's?
It's an eye opener and it is affecting both children right now.

Beth
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Old 11-18-2010, 05:30 PM
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Have you read the board here about ACOA's?
I have read up on ACOA's some. I really do believe a lot of it and see my ex in a lot of it. (His dad was a huge alcoholic)

My flaw is that even when I KNOW that something is true...being surrounded by a bunch of people with distorted and unhealthy thought processes...I'm too self-doubting. I really hate that about myself.
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Old 11-18-2010, 05:33 PM
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I'm half Scottish and half El Salvador. On my Latin side of the family drinking was all too common. It wasn't irregular to go to a family party, even if it was a 2 year olds birthday party, and find a lot of booze. I mean at least 3 kegs of beer and at least 10 bottles of liquor. At the end of the night all 3 kegs would be floating and all bottles empty except for maybe 2. Growing up I thought this was normal, didn't think anything was wrong with it. On my otherwise of the family booze would not be present at all at parties. I figured something was wrong with my Scottish side of the family. I had this distorted idea of what normal drinking was and became an alcoholic. What I'm basically getting at is that married couple your talking about, they're setting the tone for their kids of what they are going to perceive as normal drinking, distorted like mine.
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