fineday69

Going to court tomorrow to see if STBEXAH is going to plead out the domestic charge or we're going to trial. AH is the youngest of nine and his parents died 20 yrs ago. Thought that the youngest sister and I still had a decent relationship, but found out today she's blaming me. Ok, I have dealt with this S##t for three years. Where has everyone else been? Not anywhere around when it mattered. I'm the bad guy for having him arrested twice for domestic assault. Once for pushing me and the second time for slapping his 13yr. old in the face. Yeah, like I wanted this to happen??? If her husband had done this it would be a totally different story.No one besides me has been to Alanon (even though I asked her to go), read a book on addiction, looked at this website, or went to visit him and go to the family sessions while in rehab. UUGH! But I'm the bad guy, basically because I won't enable him anymore. I'm letting go, and hoping that this is bottom. This is while she's trying to find him another rehab to go to, even though he's been to a few and spent six months in the Salvation Army (and still drank on weekend passes). She doesn't want to learn about the disease. She says it's too much to deal with, HELLO! Thanks for reading my rant, just frustrated.

Ann

There is no excuse for hitting anyone and your charges are justified. It's the right thing to do, whether anyone else agrees with you or not.

It's time people stood up for charging abusers.

Good for you for stopping the cycle now.

Hugs

dollydo

You can't change the world...you can only change you!

Physical abuse is a deal breaker. You did the right thing, too bad that the others are in denial, it is their problem not yours!

Rant away, we are here for you!

keepinon

It is frustrating..the sooner you can stop expecting support from this obviously codependant family, the quicker you will feel better.Get your support from people who "get it"..alanon peeps, us here, etc.They are not gonna getit, as they have told you they are unwilling.

Live

My XH slapped my lightly on the face and I called 911.
Frankly, it terrified me as it was completely out of character for him (I still believe he had a concussion from an auto accident.)
Nevertheless...no body hits me or my kids!
He divorced me over that.
He says he just couldn't "keep going to jail."

Notice the denial of responsibility and the total blame shifting.
It is complete BS no matter who says it.
You showed your young one a powerfully great example! YAY for you!

and..hey, where I am in life now..that divorce has turned out to be a great favor in my life!!!

Other people can rationalize all they want. I don't have to agree and if I don't want to I don't have to listen to it. Neither do you.

Bravo!

Phoenixthebird

Dear Fineday69, you have every RIGHT to feel frustrated and upset! You did RIGHT by not allowing yourself and your son to be used as punching bags! Your AH and his family are in denial.

I've had a similar situation. I survived a massive stroke in DEC, my organs were failing, suffered from vascular dementia, and almost died. The hospital had given my dry drunk husband a book about strokes. He didn't read the book. His eyesight was to bad, yet he's a computer network administrator, and at night he comes home to write paradies on a website.

********************************************* ******************

You are stronger than you think, remember to stand tall.

Every challenge in your life helps you to grow.

Every problem you encounter strengthens your mind and your soul.

Every trouble you overcome increases your understanding of life.

When all your troubles weigh heavily on your shoulders, remember that beneath the burden you can stand tall, because you are never given more than you can handle......

and you are stronger than you think.

~ Lisa Wroble ~