The Emotional connection--or lack thereof--with an alcoholic spouse
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 10,212
Rachele, welcome to SR. All the posts on this thread, except for yours, are from 2010. Most, if not all, of those who posted in the original thread are not around here 7 years later. There is definitely wisdom to be gained from reading old threads, but if you're looking for answers to questions (You ask "do you have a better solution?") or for live, current feedback, you'd do better to start a thread of your own to tell us a little bit about yourself and your own situation.
In the meantime, since you're apparently reading around the forum, make sure to read the "stickies" at the top of the page--there's a ton of education and inspiration there, so if you can work your way through it, you'll have gotten a real "boot camp" experience regarding alcoholism, codependence and other topics you could probably use some help with.
Again, welcome, and I look forward to seeing your intro thread soon.
In the meantime, since you're apparently reading around the forum, make sure to read the "stickies" at the top of the page--there's a ton of education and inspiration there, so if you can work your way through it, you'll have gotten a real "boot camp" experience regarding alcoholism, codependence and other topics you could probably use some help with.
Again, welcome, and I look forward to seeing your intro thread soon.
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"O you must wear your rue with difference".
Join Date: Aug 2017
Posts: 1,146
Oh my god. My STBXAH is like this too. Exactly like this. I was so lonely from lack of emotional connection, I stopped wanting sex.
Originally Posted by sapphire69 
For my stbxah, he cannot handle emotion, that is why he drinks (my own perception after 10 years). When he wanted to emotionally connect with me his answer was sex. For the longest time that worked for me. Then I figured out that for me, in order to have sex, I needed the other emotional stuff first or the feelings just weren't there. Losing the emotional connection and realizing that he was undependable when I needed him was what got me taking care of me.
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Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 6,247
I wouldn't read too much into two words in a phrase. It's about how YOU feel and what you want in life. Alanon never says you should stay in a miserable marriage. Do you have a sponsor? That can have a huge effect in your recovery.
| The Following User Says Thank You to NYCDoglvr For This Useful Post: | Mango blast (10-31-2017)
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