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Old 10-30-2003, 04:36 AM
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keep on truckin'

Hello friends,
Life is quiet lately following my MIL's death. Hubby is in deep shock and grief. I have felt moved to stall my forward motion on the separation from hubby. I don't think this is due to fear of separation on my part, or to caretaking - staying to help him. I feel the need to evaluate again my life, my values, and my part in the situation. I have started a good fourth step inventory. I have written many pages and answered many questions but I am not finished yet. I will be working on it for as long as it takes, until I feel empty. I feel good about this as I have avioded this step for so long. I have my own greif about her death - I had another dream about her last night.

I had a blow up with my daughter about college applications and realized I have control issues with her as well as hubby. I am exploring these issues with my counselor - that perhaps they come from my difficult and dangerous childhood and my desire to protect the ones I love from danger.

I am doing ok, one day at a time. Thanks for listening.
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Old 10-30-2003, 04:55 AM
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JT
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Rose,

So the forward motion involving separation is on hold and you are continuing forward motion in another area. That is good.

Does hubby get that he was almost on the curb?? Any change or thoughts from him??

Hugs,
JT
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Old 10-30-2003, 06:27 AM
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Hubby does understand that he was on the curb. I guess he is not sure where he is now. I have been treating him with kindness and support and that hasn't happened consistently for a long time. I pray that God will help him to turn the corner, but who knows. It is hard to say if there is any change, he is quiet and grieving. He is drinking but somewhat moderately. He seems to have a bit more energy for walking the dog and other house chores. Meanwhile I try to stay focused on me. thanks
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