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Brother issues - can anyone relate???

Old 11-12-2010, 03:18 PM
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bhn
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Question Brother issues - can anyone relate???

Where to start? My brother (age 62) has been a multiple drug abuser/alcoholic for most of the past 40 years - I'm the "good brother" in a dysfunctional family of 4 (alcoholic Mom). My Dad always said I was born all grown up, but I have to come to realize that I may have suffered emotionally and the chickens have finally come home to roost. I'm also a brain tumor survivor. The brain surgery left me partially paralyzed and thus disabled. I still work part-time and have a real good life. And I'm straight as an arrow - the polar opposite of my brother.

Two things of note:

He's 3 years older, every bit as smart as me, but has always struggled to hold a job (enormously talented artist) and is now on his 4th marriage. My parents were always there to "bail him out" (cash, co-signers, whatever). They are now both gone.

I never asked for anything, worked continuously and focused on my education and career as a pharmacist (irony much?)

I can't stand to be around him anymore and recently told him as much. I know he's my only brother but I just get more upset with his idiotic ranting and raving about everything from global warming to "Free-Trade with Mexico" conspiracy theories. He also wrote a short book based on a reality-show he conjured up "The Suicide Show" where people who are terminal can capitalize on their demises!

The straw that broke the proverbial camel's back? How's this diatribe?

"Sure, I've broken promises over the years, but I've never been a self-righteous *****, thank God. So you can take yourself through the rest of your life's journey, I'm sure, believing that your brother is dead to you. I'll do the same. However, if I ever get a call, I'll be there for you."

Like he'd ever be capable of "being there" for me. I suppose it's lucky for me that he's 2000 miles away.....

Brother of SPN3
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Old 11-12-2010, 04:27 PM
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Welcome to the SR family!

My siblings and I live in different states. We try to get together once a year. That's enough.

We may have been born of the same parents, but we have all grown in different directions.

Please make yourself at home here by reading and posting as much as needed. We understand what it is like listening to a loved ones addicted quacking.
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Old 11-12-2010, 04:33 PM
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Yuck. Sorry. He sounds like a few guys I know. But no, I can't relate to having a brother like THAT, only "friends" like that. Though I DO have a brother who is schizophrenic. And a brother who is addicted to drugs. And a dad who is alcoholic. So I can relate in that I know what it is like to have a family I want to be different than what they are, and having to give up that hope and/or expectation. and thank you for posting bhn.
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