Yesterday, All My Troubles Seemed So Far Away
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
Yesterday, All My Troubles Seemed So Far Away
It was a holiday yesterday so I decided to call my mom and invite her to breakfast at a local restaurant that serves breakfast all day. That way, we could both sleep in and enjoy a leisurely morning. The trip to the restaurant is about a 45-minute drive for me, so I brought along a travel mug filled with coffee and pumpkin creamer--my version of a Starbuck's pumpkin latte--and popped in a CD that my daughter had bought me as an impromptu surprise a few weeks ago to listen to along the way--Susan Boyle's first CD. I probably wouldn't have chosen it for myself, but it contains so many lovely songs that I played it the entire way to and from the restaurant.
So, there I was cruising along, warm and comfortable in my car on a chilly fall day, enjoying my home-made pumpkin latte, listening to lovely music, and enjoying what's left of the fall scenery. I live in a rural area where there is still plenty of open space between houses, where business are few and far between, where I can get spectacular views of the Blue Ridge Mountains and charming pastoral views of horses, cows, sheep, donkeys, and the like, plus the occasional silo painted to resemble a giant ear of corn and the occasional barn painted in a vibrant shade of green with an amusing dancing cow and pig painted on its side.
I felt so at peace and realized that I've felt this way for a long time now, and the tears began to flow. They were happy tears that came with the realization that life is good and that I'm at peace now and that life doesn't have to be so hard if I take steps to nurture myself and protect my serenity.
Looking back, I can't believe that I deliberately chose to remain in a relationship with an addict who brought pain, chaos, and sadness into my life, but I did. I can't believe that I failed to love and protect myself and chose to live a life where I subsisted on crumbs, but I did. I can't believe that I had convinced myself that all my other options were either poor, equally unacceptable, or too hard to carry out, but I did.
The truth is that once I took action and let go of a relationship that was causing me pain, everything fell easily into place, and none of my fears that I wouldn't be able to move on, take care of myself financially, or be happy alone came to fruition. I am happy. I am thriving. I am enjoying the simple things again, and life is good.
Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. That's because they are. I hope that you, too, will choose serenity and joy over chaos and pain and join me over here, on the other side.
Special thanks go to my friend, Live, who gave me gentle reminders to get out there and enjoy the beauty of the fall season.
So, there I was cruising along, warm and comfortable in my car on a chilly fall day, enjoying my home-made pumpkin latte, listening to lovely music, and enjoying what's left of the fall scenery. I live in a rural area where there is still plenty of open space between houses, where business are few and far between, where I can get spectacular views of the Blue Ridge Mountains and charming pastoral views of horses, cows, sheep, donkeys, and the like, plus the occasional silo painted to resemble a giant ear of corn and the occasional barn painted in a vibrant shade of green with an amusing dancing cow and pig painted on its side.
I felt so at peace and realized that I've felt this way for a long time now, and the tears began to flow. They were happy tears that came with the realization that life is good and that I'm at peace now and that life doesn't have to be so hard if I take steps to nurture myself and protect my serenity.
Looking back, I can't believe that I deliberately chose to remain in a relationship with an addict who brought pain, chaos, and sadness into my life, but I did. I can't believe that I failed to love and protect myself and chose to live a life where I subsisted on crumbs, but I did. I can't believe that I had convinced myself that all my other options were either poor, equally unacceptable, or too hard to carry out, but I did.
The truth is that once I took action and let go of a relationship that was causing me pain, everything fell easily into place, and none of my fears that I wouldn't be able to move on, take care of myself financially, or be happy alone came to fruition. I am happy. I am thriving. I am enjoying the simple things again, and life is good.
Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. That's because they are. I hope that you, too, will choose serenity and joy over chaos and pain and join me over here, on the other side.
Special thanks go to my friend, Live, who gave me gentle reminders to get out there and enjoy the beauty of the fall season.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,888
Beautiful post! Beautiful reminder to enjoy the peace of an addict-free life!
"Get busy living or get busy dying." --Shawshank Redemption
One of my favorite movies and one of my favorite quotes. I'm so glad I am out in the world now living it the best I can for me instead of hiding inside dying for someone else's addiction.
Hope you had a wonderful meal with your mom.
Alice
"Get busy living or get busy dying." --Shawshank Redemption
One of my favorite movies and one of my favorite quotes. I'm so glad I am out in the world now living it the best I can for me instead of hiding inside dying for someone else's addiction.
Hope you had a wonderful meal with your mom.
Alice
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
Thanks, everyone. I hope you're enjoying the fall season, too. Shawshenk Redemption is one of my favorite movies, too. Alice. That quote really spoke to me, too.
Breakfast was delish. I had french toast drizzled with a warm cinnamon sauce and topped with butter, scrambled eggs with caramelized onions and cheese, bacon, biscuits with blackberry jam, and coffee. I also took home two pieces of chocolate cococola cake for an evening treat for me and my daughter. Put it in the fridge because it sat in the sun in my car and the icing was beginning to melt. And, boy, let me tell you, it is even better chilled. It was like having a big brownie topped with fudge. There's still one piece in the fridge calling my name. May have to run downstairs and grab a bite.
I enjoyed the time I spent with my mom. I don't often get a chance to see her by myself, as I come from a very large family.
Breakfast was delish. I had french toast drizzled with a warm cinnamon sauce and topped with butter, scrambled eggs with caramelized onions and cheese, bacon, biscuits with blackberry jam, and coffee. I also took home two pieces of chocolate cococola cake for an evening treat for me and my daughter. Put it in the fridge because it sat in the sun in my car and the icing was beginning to melt. And, boy, let me tell you, it is even better chilled. It was like having a big brownie topped with fudge. There's still one piece in the fridge calling my name. May have to run downstairs and grab a bite.
I enjoyed the time I spent with my mom. I don't often get a chance to see her by myself, as I come from a very large family.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: By a River
Posts: 83
Former Doormat - Beautiful words...again. I posted for the first time tonight in this forum, and spoke of posters who had made such a difference in my life, and I just wanted to let you know that you were one of the "big" ones. I remember when your BF passed, and how you handled it with such grace and dignity. Throughout the years you were the one who was able to truly get "through to me" on how to detach (it was something I had GREAT difficulty with). I just wanted to let you know that you have always been a huge inspiration to me, and to THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart.
Last edited by MissChievous; 11-12-2010 at 04:29 PM. Reason: To acknowledge that I am referring to Former Doormat
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
I love french toast. I love listening to great music in the car. I love you still got your mom with you. I love your thread 
I also want to personally thank you as you have helped me so much in my journey and I will always be in debt.
PS While walking today I heard loud "gothic death metal" or whatever playing from a shop. I realized I hadn't heard a SINGLE song like that for the 2 years that I have been away from XABF. But somehow, then, I was willing to listen to it 24x7 in HIS car, or at HIS place.Ask me when we ever listened to say Ravi Shankar, Cafe del Mar, Gotan project or something I enjoy??
NEVER!
Very very telling!! UGH!! I felt great knowing I am someone different now, and it was a strange feeling, feeling disgusted at the same time!!
I am just starting to feel how "this side" is like and I am so grateful I could cry also. I can see clearly now, that hell was on the other side, in my past. I am hopeful everyone over there will cross the bridge over here....
I also want to personally thank you as you have helped me so much in my journey and I will always be in debt.
PS While walking today I heard loud "gothic death metal" or whatever playing from a shop. I realized I hadn't heard a SINGLE song like that for the 2 years that I have been away from XABF. But somehow, then, I was willing to listen to it 24x7 in HIS car, or at HIS place.Ask me when we ever listened to say Ravi Shankar, Cafe del Mar, Gotan project or something I enjoy??
NEVER!Very very telling!! UGH!! I felt great knowing I am someone different now, and it was a strange feeling, feeling disgusted at the same time!!
I am just starting to feel how "this side" is like and I am so grateful I could cry also. I can see clearly now, that hell was on the other side, in my past. I am hopeful everyone over there will cross the bridge over here....
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
beautiful, fd, simply beautiful. you are who i want to be when i grow up
i'm so filled with gratitude for have knowing you and following your journey.
your support and words have seen me through some very difficult times when i thought i could never draw another breath.
hurray for your day and your sudden knowlege that you have been in recovery for quite sometime.
i have found recovery like a surgical scar........the wound heals, but the scar remains......and my own setbacks keep me picking at the scar.
sad, but true.
thanks for the post, fd. you have made my day.
i'm so filled with gratitude for have knowing you and following your journey.
your support and words have seen me through some very difficult times when i thought i could never draw another breath.
hurray for your day and your sudden knowlege that you have been in recovery for quite sometime.
i have found recovery like a surgical scar........the wound heals, but the scar remains......and my own setbacks keep me picking at the scar.
sad, but true.
thanks for the post, fd. you have made my day.
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
How sweet it is, life!
That is the one thing I miss most here in Florida, the beautiful fall leaves, the changing of the guard to yet another season of life!
Thanks so much for the reminder, life is good!
That is the one thing I miss most here in Florida, the beautiful fall leaves, the changing of the guard to yet another season of life!
Thanks so much for the reminder, life is good!
Curled up in a good book...
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 1,542
Originally Posted by dollydo 
How sweet it is, life!
That is the one thing I miss most here in Florida, the beautiful fall leaves, the changing of the guard to yet another season of life!
Thanks so much for the reminder, life is good!
That is the one thing I miss most here in Florida, the beautiful fall leaves, the changing of the guard to yet another season of life!
Thanks so much for the reminder, life is good!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
oh, wow (((((((FD))))))))))
Thank you and I got all teared up!
AND I didn't know you were in the Blueridge area!?! We are the most blessed, aren't we??!!!
This weekend was so nice, just unbelievable.
Then, of course, I want to pore over your menu! LOL
I had thought about going to the Steele Creek Park to grill some burgers yesterday while it is still so gorgeous. It is like stealing another beautiful weekend from the forecasters!
but I was really tired and needed to get some rest more.
Maybe today?
You know, I think about that from time to time, who was I back then, I can scarcely believe I allowed myself to become unmercifully trapped and involved in that very toxic relationship.
and glory, I just have to see a silo painted like an ear of corn! how delightful!!!!!
well, my mind is made up and thank you...I will go feed those ducks some leftover pumpernickle today and spread a blanket out and lie about just enjoying this incredible beauty and reading my library books.
unless I find out about some free mountain music today!
I listened to the Carolina Chocolate Drops yesterday! I got to see them at the Rhythm & Roots festival and they just enthralled me.
Have you read Dr Ralph Stanley's memoir????
((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))
Thank you and I got all teared up!
AND I didn't know you were in the Blueridge area!?! We are the most blessed, aren't we??!!!
This weekend was so nice, just unbelievable.
Then, of course, I want to pore over your menu! LOL
I had thought about going to the Steele Creek Park to grill some burgers yesterday while it is still so gorgeous. It is like stealing another beautiful weekend from the forecasters!
but I was really tired and needed to get some rest more.
Maybe today?
You know, I think about that from time to time, who was I back then, I can scarcely believe I allowed myself to become unmercifully trapped and involved in that very toxic relationship.
and glory, I just have to see a silo painted like an ear of corn! how delightful!!!!!
well, my mind is made up and thank you...I will go feed those ducks some leftover pumpernickle today and spread a blanket out and lie about just enjoying this incredible beauty and reading my library books.
unless I find out about some free mountain music today!
I listened to the Carolina Chocolate Drops yesterday! I got to see them at the Rhythm & Roots festival and they just enthralled me.
Have you read Dr Ralph Stanley's memoir????
((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
oh boy, the excitement is so infectious!
Perhaps we will go on a drive to see Houlston Dam?
and, now, I want some pumpkin too. but I think what I really want is some traditional pumpkin pie but I want to make my own crusts. I haven't done that in a very long time. (I even bought some lard!)
I bought the neatest Paula Deene pastry/cutting board that is simply inviting.
It has etched into it all sizes of circular crusts and measurements & etc plus it is just plain stunning to look at!
I haven't taken anything out of the freezer yet for dinner today..ate the burgers yesterday (david did them at home).
hmmm....I do think he has some new york strip steaks that could be grilled out at a public beauty spot?!?
I have been able to open the windows in the afternoons still!
oh, I hope it makes you laugh how excited you've got me!!!!
Have you done the Biltmore at Christmas-time??
That has been on my list for over a decade!!!!!!!!!!!
Although it goes against my grain the way so many jump the gun...his aunt was listening to Christmas music Friday and I protested that we hadn't even had Thanksgiving yet!!
and I can still open my windows!
I do remember in Florida when a man dressed as Santa passed by on the waterway on a skiddoo. hahahahahaha
and in Argentina where below the equator the seasons are reversed so that Christmas comes at the height of summer yet they put up plastic snowflakes as decorations!
oh,, YAY...I hear he is up...I thought I was going to have to go in and bounce on the bed like an eager child to wake him!
more hugs to all here (((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))
Perhaps we will go on a drive to see Houlston Dam?
and, now, I want some pumpkin too. but I think what I really want is some traditional pumpkin pie but I want to make my own crusts. I haven't done that in a very long time. (I even bought some lard!)
I bought the neatest Paula Deene pastry/cutting board that is simply inviting.
It has etched into it all sizes of circular crusts and measurements & etc plus it is just plain stunning to look at!
I haven't taken anything out of the freezer yet for dinner today..ate the burgers yesterday (david did them at home).
hmmm....I do think he has some new york strip steaks that could be grilled out at a public beauty spot?!?
I have been able to open the windows in the afternoons still!
oh, I hope it makes you laugh how excited you've got me!!!!
Have you done the Biltmore at Christmas-time??
That has been on my list for over a decade!!!!!!!!!!!
Although it goes against my grain the way so many jump the gun...his aunt was listening to Christmas music Friday and I protested that we hadn't even had Thanksgiving yet!!
and I can still open my windows!
I do remember in Florida when a man dressed as Santa passed by on the waterway on a skiddoo. hahahahahaha
and in Argentina where below the equator the seasons are reversed so that Christmas comes at the height of summer yet they put up plastic snowflakes as decorations!
oh,, YAY...I hear he is up...I thought I was going to have to go in and bounce on the bed like an eager child to wake him!
more hugs to all here (((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
i'm inspired! today, i finish decorating my room, which i have put off for way too long since moving in with auntie.
so far, i have placed sun catchers all over my bedroom window instead of using a blind or curtain......it's lovely! they are all very unique sun catchers and sparkle like a stained glass window.
hey, maybe i'll look into that....i'd love to learn working with stained glass and making masterpieces!
so far, i have placed sun catchers all over my bedroom window instead of using a blind or curtain......it's lovely! they are all very unique sun catchers and sparkle like a stained glass window.
hey, maybe i'll look into that....i'd love to learn working with stained glass and making masterpieces!
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