Starlynn

Haven't contacted my ABF since Thursday. He texted a few times Friday as he was headed back in town and when he arrived. Earlier in the week he had asked to do something Saturday but became angry when I didn't want to do what he wanted. (Seems like anymore there is a "fight" so we don't see each other which I feel is the perfect out for him to sit at home and drink.) Haven't heard from him today and do not intend to contact him.

It's hard but I am busy with preparing my lessons for the week and doing things around the house. He has another court date Tuesday (his house is in foreclosure) and is probably very close to losing his house. I know it's a hard time for him but I feel I have done all I can. I am scared and worried that something awful may happen as a result of his drinking but I have to take care of myself.

fourmaggie

yes you do...take care of yourself..you are not responsible for him or his actions...

acdirito

Dear Starlynn, you wrote "I am scared and worried that something awful may happen as a result of his drinking but I have to take care of myself." One of my scariest moments was when I came out of vascular dementia which resulted from a massive stroke, and was told it was at least ten days later than I could remember. We, as codependents, need to remember we are not responsible for carrying all the weight of the world upon our shoulders. The lesson we must learn is simply that our control is limited to our own behavior, our own attitudes.

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I have held many things in my hands, and I have lost them all. But whatever I have placed in God's hands, that I still possess

Hollyanne

Starlynn,
You have made my day. Good for you. The more distance time-wise you put between you, the clearer it will become. Are you going to Al Anon?
He has already had consequences of drinking. Loosing his GF and house.
You are not his mental punchbag.

coffeedrinker

just wanna support you, starlynn

you are absolutely right about needing to take care of yourself, and do the work that has been entrusted to you (you are a teacher?)

this sounds like boundaries to me

spinwc

His alcohol problems/issues are just that: HIS.

You didnt cause it, you cant cure it and you cant control it.

Take this time and lift all of that off of your shoulders. you will be suprised how much better you feel when you let go. Its the hardest thing i ever did, but once I did....WOW. LIfe is too short to be that unhappy because of someone elses issues!

Lola1024

You are doing great Starlynn - stay on your side of the street. Let him own his issues. :ghug3

missb89

Good on you. I know how hard it is to give them that inch and then they take a mile, the same long twisted mile that you just can't afford to walk down again. Sending hugs your way!

Starlynn

Thanks everyone for the kind words. I received 2 nonsense text messages Sunday night from him but other than that I haven't heard from him nor have I contacted him. I feel lonely and wonder what is going on with him but know I have to do this.

wicked

doing great starlynn.
really really good.

TatliGuzelim

Starlynn - Nice goin' a text at a time - take a bow! :day6