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So conflicted.

Old 11-05-2010, 04:38 PM
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FGB
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Unhappy So conflicted.

Have been lurking here for quite awhile. Learning good things. My 26 yo son is a chronic alcoholic, haven't been able to reach him for 3 days (he lives in the same apt. building as I do) and was worried. Called the police finally to do a wellness check, I was sure he was dead. Police came, found him passed out in a pile of beer cans and vodka bottles. He blew .33. he had a warrant so they took him to jail. I called the jail and told them he'd have a bad detox. I know what I did was right, but I can't get my head and my heart on the same page. I feel so bad, even though I know it was the right thing to do.

I used to work as a correctional dep. in this jail. I know everything that is going to happen to him. I appreciate my friends who work there, I did not ask for any special treatment for him, that would be wrong to do to my friends and to my son. I'm just soo sad. I will be filing papers monday to have him committed as being a danger to himself. How do I stop the heartache and the guilt that it was my fault. I KNOW it isn't, but it just hurts so much. Thanks for reading and any responses.
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Old 11-05-2010, 04:52 PM
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get it, give it, grow in it
 
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Flip your thinking...you are saving his life and giving him an opportunity to change course.
Can you line-up a facility to receive him when he's released ?
Maybe he'll be ready for treatment. Get all the info you can as maybe now he
can be nudged into inpatient rehab.
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Old 11-05-2010, 05:00 PM
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I agree. Your phone call may have saved his life.

Welcome to the SR family!

Please make yourself at home by reading and posting as much as needed. We are here to support you.

There are sticky (permanent) posts at the top of this forum. Those contain some of our stories and loads of wisdom.
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Old 11-05-2010, 05:18 PM
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I'm no angel!
 
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I think that you did the right thing. This may be his bottom.

Sending you hugs,
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Old 11-05-2010, 05:28 PM
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This is one of those times:

God,
Grant me the Serenity, to:
Accept the things I cannot change, the
Courage to change the things I can, and the
Wisdom to know the difference.
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Old 11-05-2010, 06:02 PM
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You did the right thing informing the jail of the detox he would face. The first time that my STBEXAH went to jail, he detoxed so badly that he seizured, was hallucinating and harming himself. He was taken to a nearby hospital, then had to be airlifterd to a different hospital. Don't second guess yourself, you did what you felt was the right.
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Old 11-05-2010, 06:09 PM
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Thanks everyone for your kind responses. I know I did the right thing, but I still feel horrible for doing it. It's so hard to get your heart and head together. I know I'll get through this, he may hate me, and he may not, but at least I know he'll be alive for the next 3 days.
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Old 11-05-2010, 06:43 PM
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FGB
Welcome to SR.......I'm so glad you found us but sorry for the circumstances that brought you here.

You saved your sons life. Rest easy tonight knowing that he is safe and alive.

gentle hugs
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Old 11-05-2010, 06:44 PM
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Hugs and prayers!
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Old 11-05-2010, 06:47 PM
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I'm just a puddle, all I can do is cry, and try to tell myself it will all work out.
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Old 11-05-2010, 07:44 PM
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Being Silent so I can Hear
 
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Big hugs to you FGB. Hang in there.
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Old 11-05-2010, 08:40 PM
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Hang in there.Have you been to Alanon mtgs /they have really helped me deal with my daughter. HAve you read any books about alcoholism? these are good places to start
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