Today is the beginning of the end
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 77
Today is the beginning of the end
Well the depression has lifted for the time being. I am filing divorce papers today. He went and took all the money from savings and checking leaving me nothing. I have a little stashed so I can file paperwork today. I am so relieved for finally seeing him for what he really is now and being able to move on with my life. May peaceful and happy days be in mine and my children's future...
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,059
He went and took all the money from savings and checking leaving me nothing
are there any other steps you need to take quickly to protect yourself? anything else of yours he has access to? paypal account? 401K? line of credit? credit cards? home equity account?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,059
sapphire...i just want to make sure that you saw this post from hoopninja in your last thread.
I hope this is encouraging. . .
sapphire this is something I know a bit about (the community property and inheritance thing) because I checked into it with a very adept and expensive lawyer a year before I filed for divorce.
This is how it works in my state which is a 50/50 state.
Inherited money is not community property UNLESS it is comingled with marital accounts--at that point it is no longer inherited money but belongs to you jointly. I wanted to know this because it was possible during the divorce that I may have gotten an inheritance and wanted to know what to do. The lawyer told me if I got the inheritance to put it in a separate account far away from any joint accounts. Any interest earned from the account that held the inheritance was community property (ONLY the interest). She told me to have the bank where the inherited money was sitting write a bank check to me which I would then put into our joint account (community property).
I don't know where you live or what the laws are in your state. Where I live--he co-mingled his inheritance and as soon as that happened it became community property held jointly and you get half. Tough noogies if he does not like it (and I have to say-considering the bath I took in my divorce I would be happy to see the law working in a positive way to support the person (and children) who suffer due to the alcohol abuse.
If you are unsure have your lawyer show you the statute that discusses inheritance and when it becomes community property. He may not be telling his atty. the full story. He is probably blowing smoke.
Google your state, divorce, inheritance and you should get the info you need if you want to save the legal fees.
Also, due to the co-mingling if you have a temp. hearing chances are that you will get to stay in the house with the kids (depending on the temporary custody and placement order). I highly doubt the court would put you and the kids on the street and let him stay in the house. You do not need to rent the house--you own half of it. If it is paid off and he wants to keep it, he will have to pay you that amount. If he cannot the court may order that the house be sold and you split the proceeds. Yes, it is his family home--but guess what, you are now his family so don't forget that and you own half of it. Don't sell yourself short and don't let him pull the guilt card. You need a place to stay with the kids. Don't start giving stuff away. Sometimes if you are in the situation you are in and the law is pretty straightforward let the lawyers settle it.
Does your state have free mediation for custody/placement and financial issues? My state you got one hour free for custody/placement so it was in your best interest to resolve things. You got 4 hours of free financial mediation.
Hope all went well with the waiver, locating counseling and your contact with domestic violence. Hope you are doing better today.
__________________
sapphire this is something I know a bit about (the community property and inheritance thing) because I checked into it with a very adept and expensive lawyer a year before I filed for divorce.
This is how it works in my state which is a 50/50 state.
Inherited money is not community property UNLESS it is comingled with marital accounts--at that point it is no longer inherited money but belongs to you jointly. I wanted to know this because it was possible during the divorce that I may have gotten an inheritance and wanted to know what to do. The lawyer told me if I got the inheritance to put it in a separate account far away from any joint accounts. Any interest earned from the account that held the inheritance was community property (ONLY the interest). She told me to have the bank where the inherited money was sitting write a bank check to me which I would then put into our joint account (community property).
I don't know where you live or what the laws are in your state. Where I live--he co-mingled his inheritance and as soon as that happened it became community property held jointly and you get half. Tough noogies if he does not like it (and I have to say-considering the bath I took in my divorce I would be happy to see the law working in a positive way to support the person (and children) who suffer due to the alcohol abuse.
If you are unsure have your lawyer show you the statute that discusses inheritance and when it becomes community property. He may not be telling his atty. the full story. He is probably blowing smoke.
Google your state, divorce, inheritance and you should get the info you need if you want to save the legal fees.
Also, due to the co-mingling if you have a temp. hearing chances are that you will get to stay in the house with the kids (depending on the temporary custody and placement order). I highly doubt the court would put you and the kids on the street and let him stay in the house. You do not need to rent the house--you own half of it. If it is paid off and he wants to keep it, he will have to pay you that amount. If he cannot the court may order that the house be sold and you split the proceeds. Yes, it is his family home--but guess what, you are now his family so don't forget that and you own half of it. Don't sell yourself short and don't let him pull the guilt card. You need a place to stay with the kids. Don't start giving stuff away. Sometimes if you are in the situation you are in and the law is pretty straightforward let the lawyers settle it.
Does your state have free mediation for custody/placement and financial issues? My state you got one hour free for custody/placement so it was in your best interest to resolve things. You got 4 hours of free financial mediation.
Hope all went well with the waiver, locating counseling and your contact with domestic violence. Hope you are doing better today.
__________________
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 693
The guys is a total dirt bag and the court does not condone the "take the money and run" tactics he is using. Do you have previous bank statements--if not get them now. Show the paper trail of him taking all your marital assets. You will need it. Talk to your lawyer now to let him/her know what has happened so the court can rule soon that he cannot dispose of that money!!
He is trying to keep you from having any money and what he is doing is a big No No with the court. In my state you have to show bank account activity prior to the divorce to make sure this kind of cr*p did not take place.
So, go online and download all your bank statements. If possible go to the bank and talk to a bank manager and get a statement about him removing all the money from your accounts. If it was a joint account they should talk to you. He of course can go in and take money--but he is doing it for illicit reasons. Don't let him. Take care of yourself.
Divorce in Arizona (AZ) - Lawyers.com
Dividing the Property
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Part of a divorce is the court's order for dividing the spouses' property and debts. Arizona is a community property state, meaning property acquired during marriage is treated as by owned by you and your spouse. It's the court's job to try to divide community or marital property equitably, unless one spouse shows "excessive or abnormal expenditures" by the other spouse. An equitable distribution is a fair, but not necessarily equal, distribution.
Marital misconduct isn't a factor. However, the court can look at excessive or abnormal use of community property, including actions of fraud, concealment or destruction.
Property owned before marriage can remain the "separate property" of that spouse, who keeps it. Gifts or inheritance received during the marriage are also a spouse's separate property. A court can put a lien on this source to secure child or spousal support payments.
Property that is considered "separate property:
- Assets you had before marriage, if you kept it separate from community property -
-Income produced by a separate property investment if it wasn't "commingled" or mixed with marital property
- Inheritance from your family during your marriage is generally treated as separate property if it was willed exclusively to you and it wasn't commingled
You and your spouse may have a written agreement, which is called a "separation agreement," addressing matters should you and your spouse divorce. The separation agreement is a contract listing and describing the spouses' decisions about ownership of real estate, dividing property, financial support and, if children are involved, even issues of custody and parenting time. In a divorce case, the court must accept the separation agreement (except for matters about custody, parenting time and support of children) unless it is unfair.
He is trying to keep you from having any money and what he is doing is a big No No with the court. In my state you have to show bank account activity prior to the divorce to make sure this kind of cr*p did not take place.
So, go online and download all your bank statements. If possible go to the bank and talk to a bank manager and get a statement about him removing all the money from your accounts. If it was a joint account they should talk to you. He of course can go in and take money--but he is doing it for illicit reasons. Don't let him. Take care of yourself.
Divorce in Arizona (AZ) - Lawyers.com
Dividing the Property
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Part of a divorce is the court's order for dividing the spouses' property and debts. Arizona is a community property state, meaning property acquired during marriage is treated as by owned by you and your spouse. It's the court's job to try to divide community or marital property equitably, unless one spouse shows "excessive or abnormal expenditures" by the other spouse. An equitable distribution is a fair, but not necessarily equal, distribution.
Marital misconduct isn't a factor. However, the court can look at excessive or abnormal use of community property, including actions of fraud, concealment or destruction.
Property owned before marriage can remain the "separate property" of that spouse, who keeps it. Gifts or inheritance received during the marriage are also a spouse's separate property. A court can put a lien on this source to secure child or spousal support payments.
Property that is considered "separate property:
- Assets you had before marriage, if you kept it separate from community property -
-Income produced by a separate property investment if it wasn't "commingled" or mixed with marital property
- Inheritance from your family during your marriage is generally treated as separate property if it was willed exclusively to you and it wasn't commingled
You and your spouse may have a written agreement, which is called a "separation agreement," addressing matters should you and your spouse divorce. The separation agreement is a contract listing and describing the spouses' decisions about ownership of real estate, dividing property, financial support and, if children are involved, even issues of custody and parenting time. In a divorce case, the court must accept the separation agreement (except for matters about custody, parenting time and support of children) unless it is unfair.
Being Silent so I can Hear
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 2,521
He is trying to keep you from having any money and what he is doing is a big No No with the court. In my state you have to show bank account activity prior to the divorce to make sure this kind of cr*p did not take place.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 693
Still Waters--I don't know. May depend on the court but I could have gotten in huge trouble if I started to bleed the accounts (as could xah). We both knew it and did not touch them. At the temp. hearing all assets were frozen and we were specifically asked by the court commissioner if we had removed any large sums of money from joint accounts during the last year. We had not-but had we, the next question would have been why.
Also, unfortunately who the commissioner/judge is makes a difference but most attys. know who will not be helping you and can ask for one substitution.
Also, unfortunately who the commissioner/judge is makes a difference but most attys. know who will not be helping you and can ask for one substitution.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 77
Well I filed all the paperwork including emergency orders for child support and alimony (spousal maintenance). The money and property is going to be a mess. He inherited two houses to which I had to sign waiver of rights to both in order for the exchange, part of the trust documents. Although all money was deposited into joint accounts with money from his income, my student loan excess refunds and every other dollar we accumulated, it still can be traced back to his property. I am not asking for the house but items out of the house which were bought with said money. So if I have a bad judge, or he has a cutthroat lawyer, I could end up with not much. I guess I really don't care about the material possessions, but it would be nice to have something to sit on and watch tv with for the kids.
Last night he tried to discuss with me about what he could do to 'fix' things. Again he pulled at the heart strings "I love you" "I want to make this marriage work" "We made a committment to eachother" blah, blah and I know that now matter how much I tell him how hurt and "done" I am, it wont make a bit of difference. I can't start questioning now!
Last night he tried to discuss with me about what he could do to 'fix' things. Again he pulled at the heart strings "I love you" "I want to make this marriage work" "We made a committment to eachother" blah, blah and I know that now matter how much I tell him how hurt and "done" I am, it wont make a bit of difference. I can't start questioning now!
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 674
Tell him you will work on the marriage when he puts all the money back. Then take your share, and tell him to take a hike!
Sorry, just seems so unfair. Sending positive thoughts your way. You are beginning a new and better life. I left with very very little, and it was freeing, and little by little you rebuild. One day at a time
Sorry, just seems so unfair. Sending positive thoughts your way. You are beginning a new and better life. I left with very very little, and it was freeing, and little by little you rebuild. One day at a time
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 693
Like seeking calm I also left with very little (and he got to take much). But I am happier now than I have been in 12 years. It's just stuff. Your life and being happy is more important. It took a while to get that into my thick skull but it eventually made it in.
I hope temp. order gives you what you need. Regardless of what you signed I would still ask to be able to keep the house so the kids have a place to live until the final order. It will give you time to regroup and get settled to move elsewhere. It will be must less disruptive for the kids.
I hope temp. order gives you what you need. Regardless of what you signed I would still ask to be able to keep the house so the kids have a place to live until the final order. It will give you time to regroup and get settled to move elsewhere. It will be must less disruptive for the kids.
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,059
Regardless of what you signed I would still ask to be able to keep the house so the kids have a place to live until the final order. It will give you time to regroup and get settled to move elsewhere. It will be must less disruptive for the kids.
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