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Deciding on the parenting schedule

Old 11-07-2010, 09:19 AM
  # 41 (permalink)  
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Decisions

On Friday via emails I attempted to confirm the parenting schedule with my exAH who after 3 emails stated "enough with the emails, I will call you on Sunday and we will have a 3 way call with our son". His attempt to put off the decision making. So I called him and said, no we will decide this now. AH was on his way to a fishing trip. I told him it is our decision with our son's input but the ultimate decision is ours. So we decided on ideas and after talking to our son for his input, came up with a plan. I know what all of you said in my thread
that the addiction will escalate, that it is wrong to put my son in a position where his father may drink and drive with him, etc. I am not able at this point to prevent his father from seeing him. I am going to see a lawyer to get counsel on this too. I see my counselor on Tuesday too. My son misses his father so much. I have talked to my son about what to do if his father is unable to drive him somewhere and he agrees. Not sure if he ever will, but I will pray that he does. Besides what I have posted about my exAH, I feel he is responsible when he needs to be. This will be hard, not being the primary caregiver of my son, but I have raised him well to take care of himself I think. He knows I will always be here for him, sober and ready to care for him and that is my promise. This is so hard, but I will make it.
I talked with EXAH's mom the other day, she wondered about Thanksgiving and went on to say she thinks we (EXAH and I) can be together on special occasions like she and her husband did after their divorce, amicably "for the children". My exAH never liked this arrangement but never told the parents and it was always awkward. It was as if she was expecting me to act certain ways and I was fuming, and told her I could not be around her son because he is not good for my soul and don't expect that to happen any time soon. I told her I didn't expect to keep her grandson away from her either. I also shared with her my fear for my son being with his father. She didn't say she agreed or disagreed. We ended the conversation on a good note. I take all of your input seriously, but followed my heart and I don't have that "feeling" that tells me it is not good, so I am going with it. Love you all!
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Learn2Live (11-07-2010)
Old 11-07-2010, 09:35 AM
  # 42 (permalink)  
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Good job Jack! I'm sure it was difficult but it sounds like you were able to come to agreement. That's great! And please let me thank you for being the kind of person who is not trying to keep the "other side" of the family from seeing your boy. That is the biggest fear sometimes in these kinds of situations, and it is very painful when there is divorce and the custodial parent refuses to allow the other side of the family to see the kids.
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