YOU need help

Old 11-07-2010, 06:24 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 132
Yep....been there, heard that. I did need help. I was letting alcohol destroy my life and I dont even drink!

Funny thing is after I got my help and I seem to be on the road to healing, he is probably still drunk every night, still having his money/legal/work/health issues. Hmmmm....
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Old 11-07-2010, 06:28 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 375
The first two years of my 4.5 year relationship with a raging alcoholic, I worked my @ss off on the relationship always fixing things, working on things and bending over backwards to please him or his friends. I accomodated him and all he wanted. And during that point we had some intense fights in which I was told, "You need to look at yourself and figure out what you are doing wrong. You are always wrong." I was mad...more bullying and more expectations after bending into a pretzel. But - Ironically he was right. I shouldn't have been doing all that pleasing, bending over backwards and fixing things. I quit doing nice things or accomodating. And then 2.5 years later, I finally moved on, lol. Thanks for the advice buddy.
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Old 11-07-2010, 06:41 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Location: Bristol TN/VA
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"I DO need help and YOU are not it!"


wish I had thought of this one back then!
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Old 11-08-2010, 07:09 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 375
I just remembered a some more...this makes me mad. lol.

"You need to relax. I've thought about signing you up at a spa." -yet everytime I sat on the couch he would yell and actually sat on my head.
"You don't let people in. You need to let people in." -he was the one always keeping at a distance and keeping in control.

I like this thread. This thread is fun. lol.
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Old 11-08-2010, 07:25 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 650
My brother more or less stopped talking to me over a debate we had online about something more or less irrelevant to both of us. I had people backing up my side, but he seemed to be alone in his opinion-- so he isn't talking to me anymore. Deleted me off Facebook and everything!

I believe it was less because of our debate and more because I refuse to be supportive of his 'marijuana maintenance program' to stay off cocaine. He thinks he has it all figured out, but he is still high all the time, so I see it as cutting the risks but living the same lifestyle. He doesn't want people around who are anything less than falling at his feet (as he can somehow always manage to get at least one friend to be his little lackey and back him up on everything.) Sorry, but I refuse to put up with it! We are both addicts. I am getting clean while he is still in denial because he stopped doing coke and therefore is not an addict.... though if he really wasn't an addict, he wouldn't need something to replace it! I know and accept my addiction.
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Old 11-08-2010, 12:13 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Sunny Fla
Posts: 112
The sad thing is that I kind of believed him when he told me that something is wrong with me and that I needed help. I am so thankful to alanon, naranon, and all of the people that I have met on forums like this one. You have helped me realize that, yes, in fact I do need help. Just not the kind of help that my AH was refering to.

And boy was he disappointed the first time I came back with, "Yes, you are right. I know I need help." (You should have seen the look of self satisfaction on his face!)
"I need help so I can figure out why I have been listening to your bullsh*t for so long." (The look of self satisfaction disappeared, as I did a happy dance in my head.)
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