What has Al Anon given you?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,292
What has Al Anon given you?
Al Anon has been my guiding force this last year. I was scared and reluctant to get to Al Anon when I first realized I needed it, but I finally had enough pain that I walked into a meeting.
Al Anon has given me the strength to face my fears and my truths.
Had it not been for Al Anon and the courage they gave me, I would probably be running wild after my painful break up and my job loss (was there 10 yrs and lost it 4 weeks after my break-up)
In the past, I would have just ran out, had sex with a few guys, partied, drank (and I never even drink) and put all the blame on the ex to get over the pain but today, with the spiritual guidance I've been given, I look after me.
I get to the gym 4 x a week, made new friends, go out to healthy places with friends, volunteer at a cat shelter and now I also work 2 x a week with a ND (natural doctor) trying to learn the business and seeing patients.
These are NOT things I would have done in the past.
The program and the steps have given me strength to not judge. gossip, be unkind and I show more compassion. I'm not quite at my authentic self, but am on my way.
Healing is hard, facing truths are hard, but it's much harder living a lie.
I hope anyone out there reading this who fears recovery in Al Anon sees that it's not about God (religon) or some cult, it's "therapy" to teach you how to love yourself.
What has al anon given you?
Al Anon has given me the strength to face my fears and my truths.
Had it not been for Al Anon and the courage they gave me, I would probably be running wild after my painful break up and my job loss (was there 10 yrs and lost it 4 weeks after my break-up)
In the past, I would have just ran out, had sex with a few guys, partied, drank (and I never even drink) and put all the blame on the ex to get over the pain but today, with the spiritual guidance I've been given, I look after me.
I get to the gym 4 x a week, made new friends, go out to healthy places with friends, volunteer at a cat shelter and now I also work 2 x a week with a ND (natural doctor) trying to learn the business and seeing patients.
These are NOT things I would have done in the past.
The program and the steps have given me strength to not judge. gossip, be unkind and I show more compassion. I'm not quite at my authentic self, but am on my way.
Healing is hard, facing truths are hard, but it's much harder living a lie.
I hope anyone out there reading this who fears recovery in Al Anon sees that it's not about God (religon) or some cult, it's "therapy" to teach you how to love yourself.
What has al anon given you?
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
It was my lifeline--my one thread to sanity--when I had moved across the country with a man I had just married, who had almost died of liver disease, who went back to drinking, lost his job, and lay around the house in various states of drunkenness while I worked at a low-paying job and was looking for another. I was desperate and hopeless and in a state of near panic.
It kept me from losing my mind, it kept me strong as I moved out of the home we shared only six months afte we married, it kept me putting one foot in front of the other as I made plans to move back across the country to resume my former job and life.
Unfortunately, I got right into another unhealthy relationship (with a non-addict) that I stayed in WAY too long, and my own drinking took off and became alcoholic. Still, the lessons I learned eventually crept back into my consciousness, and after I kicked that guy out I eventually found my way into AA, which is my spiritual home, now.
I am eternally grateful to Al-Anon, though.
It kept me from losing my mind, it kept me strong as I moved out of the home we shared only six months afte we married, it kept me putting one foot in front of the other as I made plans to move back across the country to resume my former job and life.
Unfortunately, I got right into another unhealthy relationship (with a non-addict) that I stayed in WAY too long, and my own drinking took off and became alcoholic. Still, the lessons I learned eventually crept back into my consciousness, and after I kicked that guy out I eventually found my way into AA, which is my spiritual home, now.
I am eternally grateful to Al-Anon, though.
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
I had already worked the 12 Steps in AA and thought I was 'living' them. Then at 3 years sober my AA sponsor told me that it was time to start attending Al-Anon NOW. I thought she was crazy, but being the good little codie, lol I followed the 'suggestion.
Al-Anon gave me a whole new perspective on the 12 steps and really showed me how to LIVE the steps.
My life, my peace and serenity, my awareness of myself and others, would not be what it is today without Al-Anon!
Love and hugs,
Al-Anon gave me a whole new perspective on the 12 steps and really showed me how to LIVE the steps.
My life, my peace and serenity, my awareness of myself and others, would not be what it is today without Al-Anon!
Love and hugs,
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Originally Posted by laurie6781 
Al-Anon gave me a whole new perspective on the 12 steps and really showed me how to LIVE the steps.
My life, my peace and serenity, my awareness of myself and others, would not be what it is today without Al-Anon!
My life, my peace and serenity, my awareness of myself and others, would not be what it is today without Al-Anon!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: PA
Posts: 985
When I first went to alanon I didn't think I needed it. I thought i knew enough and only went while husband was at AA. But to my surprise I learned to look at myself with compassion and understanding. I realized that I had taken on the blame in ways I did not see and learned to take stuff off my plate. I realized that I wasn't the only one who had dreams that didn't get there. I learned to take better care of myself and altho I was quite indep I learned how to ask for help.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: southport merseyside
Posts: 536
al anon is helping by just been there a silent non judging force that i can talk to and they know were im at and i feel im getting some of me back slowly but surely im coming out of the fog one tiny small step at a time and quite a few back but still moving forward ina few short weeks they feel like family now xx
xx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,292
All great replies
I think a version of the 12 steps should be taught in school. The system focuses so much on teaching subjects we won't take into every day life.
If we can teach kids to be calm and have self love (since MOST families are dysfunctional), our world we be a better place.
I think a version of the 12 steps should be taught in school. The system focuses so much on teaching subjects we won't take into every day life.
If we can teach kids to be calm and have self love (since MOST families are dysfunctional), our world we be a better place.
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: central coast, ca
Posts: 1,652
Alanon has given me a place to go where I don't feel like a terrible mother for having an addicted child, has given me more structure to my life, caused me to look at myself and my role in things, has helped my marriage (I'm a little bit nicer and less bossy) and given me a new way of looking at things.
To thine own self be true.
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
Al-Anon saved my life.
And it taught me that no, life and the world are NOT what I thought they were, but that I could pull myself up by my bootstraps and face this fact courageously.
Al-Anon taught me a new language through which to understand this world and the people in it.
Al-Anon taught me that there IS peace and there IS serenity in life, no matter what else is going on, and that you have only to make up your mind that you truly want it.
I am so glad that you found the courage to go SummerPeach. And I am glad we can share this between us. (((hugs))) You're doing great.
And it taught me that no, life and the world are NOT what I thought they were, but that I could pull myself up by my bootstraps and face this fact courageously.
Al-Anon taught me a new language through which to understand this world and the people in it.
Al-Anon taught me that there IS peace and there IS serenity in life, no matter what else is going on, and that you have only to make up your mind that you truly want it.
I am so glad that you found the courage to go SummerPeach. And I am glad we can share this between us. (((hugs))) You're doing great.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Wild West, USA
Posts: 407
At the time I started going, what Alanon gave me that I valued most was a SAFE place. I knew nobody and yet I could say anything. I could feel the weight lifting off of my shoulders when I walked through the door. I had read the 12 steps years earlier, and incorporated parts of them into my personal life philosophy to my benefit, but interacting with people at meetings was a whole new level for me.
Now, Alanon gives me the knowledge that I'm not alone and I'm not abnormal or defective for reacting very badly to my aexh. At the same time I judge myself less, I take responsibility for those reactions more, as contradictory as that seems.
Also, I have been able to talk about my true HP at Alanon without fear of rejection or ridicule, which has been a great relief. I have been aware of what I now can call my HP since my teens, but I have never talked openly about it until recently. It was freeing.
Now, Alanon gives me the knowledge that I'm not alone and I'm not abnormal or defective for reacting very badly to my aexh. At the same time I judge myself less, I take responsibility for those reactions more, as contradictory as that seems.
Also, I have been able to talk about my true HP at Alanon without fear of rejection or ridicule, which has been a great relief. I have been aware of what I now can call my HP since my teens, but I have never talked openly about it until recently. It was freeing.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,292
Ahhh, yes the hugs. I like the hugs. Every time I walk into my meeting, the ladies get up to hug me.
The "I's" and the "me"......<---- yes, learning that also.
L2L, thanks, I am doing much better than I thought. My inner diva has risen ;-)
Buffalo:you hit the nail on the head there when you talk about feeling safe. I do feel safe there. I talked about things no one in my life gets.
Al Anon also helped me get over much of my anxiety of speaking and reading in front of others. That used to TERRIFY me, now I do it with more ease.
The "I's" and the "me"......<---- yes, learning that also.
L2L, thanks, I am doing much better than I thought. My inner diva has risen ;-)
Buffalo:you hit the nail on the head there when you talk about feeling safe. I do feel safe there. I talked about things no one in my life gets.
Al Anon also helped me get over much of my anxiety of speaking and reading in front of others. That used to TERRIFY me, now I do it with more ease.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 131
Wow, where to start?
I'm new to Al Anon yet I'm already feeling uplifted by all the support and compassion at the meetings.
It has taught me to detach and not take things personally.
It has taught me that there is hope that I can be that whole, happy person I once was.
It has taught me to stand up for myself.
It has taught me that I no longer need to be afraid.
It has shown me how much more I have to learn. But that's ok. It's all about progress. It will get better.
I'm new to Al Anon yet I'm already feeling uplifted by all the support and compassion at the meetings.
It has taught me to detach and not take things personally.
It has taught me that there is hope that I can be that whole, happy person I once was.
It has taught me to stand up for myself.
It has taught me that I no longer need to be afraid.
It has shown me how much more I have to learn. But that's ok. It's all about progress. It will get better.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
