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Daybreak 10-29-2010 07:38 AM

Pass the plate
 
Quick question: Is taking up a collection at Al-Anon meetings a common practice? I can't remember it from the two Al-Anon meetings I had been to in California and the one on the east coast before that.

The meeting I can get to best does have to pay rent for use of the room in the church. I am glad to contribute, but have not worked since August so even that dollar is hard to part with now. But the basket is passed from person to person and. . .hmmmm. . . .I guess if I were where I need to be, I'd pass it up and pass it on.

But really, do most meetings take up a collection?

Freedom1990 10-29-2010 08:04 AM

Alanon groups have bills/supplies to pay for. I've never heard of one that didn't pass the basket.

It was years before I could even chip in a dollar at my home AA group.

It's not a requirement to chip in dear, nor should you feel badly if you can't. :hug:

Daybreak 10-29-2010 08:33 AM

Okay. I still would like to see the basket placed strategically, but not passed from person to person. Anybody want to buy a copy of Courage to Change for half price? ($7.50) :frown: Man, that was a waste of money.

PurpleWilder 10-29-2010 01:18 PM

I had quite a few meetings where I couldn't come up with a dollar either. Nobody ever gave me a hard time. Give when you can and don't fret about it.

You know, if you give back your copy of CTC and let them sell it to someone again, you could contribute in that way. Or bring treats if you can - or clean up before/after a meeting - or organize the pamphlets - or something. Some people have money to give, some have time, some have skills. Just do what you can!

Daybreak 10-29-2010 01:21 PM

Those are good ideas. Thank you very much.

keepinon 10-29-2010 03:33 PM

7th tradition states that we are self supporting and do not take outside contributions.At my home group we always ask that you do not contribute as a newcomer until you feel you are a member of alanon..we are generally (overly)nice people(codies after all) and want anyone who would benefit to come to the meetings.give what you can ,when you can.

cymbal 10-30-2010 09:23 AM

Umm, for me it was one of my first lessons in humility.

Its okay to be poor. I give when I have it.

I totally feel for you though.

I have to disagree that the CTC is a waste. Have you looked at the topical index in the back? Its so helpful for me sometimes.

LexieCat 10-30-2010 10:22 AM

Every AA or Al-Anon meeting I've ever been to passes the basket. It is a given that you don't put money in if you can't. As pointed out above, there are other ways to contribute to the group.

Daybreak 10-30-2010 11:02 AM

I think I've been reasonably receptive; however, I state without self-doubt or humility that not all Al-Anon meetings are created equal. When I said I felt uncomfortable being put on the spot for a dollar, it was because the atmosphere of the meeting was such that I felt that way. Courage to Change helps lots of people, it does nothing for me -- hence, it was a waste of money for ME. I like the idea of donating it back because it WILL help someone else. Furthermore, if recovery from co-dependence requires becoming an Al-Anon-a-holic, I choose to remain co-dependent. In no way do I mean this as rejection of Al-Anon, I am very grateful for it.

RollTide 10-30-2010 11:18 AM

In my small group we have a basket in the middle of the table and it's never mentioned. I don't pay attention to who puts in and who doesn't.

LucyA 10-30-2010 11:22 AM

The meeting I've been to a few times has an old coffee jar, painted so you can't see what goes in and a slot in the lid. It's always pointed out to newcomers, but newcomers are told it's just for tea and coffee and nothing is expected at all, ever.
And it's always just left on the drinks tray.


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