Blogs


Notices

counselling

Old 10-28-2010, 01:40 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
kia
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: southport merseyside
Posts: 536
counselling

well finally saw the doc today and hes referred me for counselling was prob a done deal when i couldnt control the tears in front of a stranger which was so out of character for me was like me watching someone else thinking what the heck are u doing it was very surreal.So now i gotta just wait i have to have an assessment first then they deciede if i need to have counselling i would yes i do as my feeling are all over the place atm ok one min weepy the next then angry then a mixture of it all only thing i keep hanging onto is my meetings that feels like my only sanity atm.

Im also still in mid getting my things back mode after listening to some more dramas going on yesterday but well now even that felt odd though cos could feel myself disconnecting from it like he was trying to get a reaction and there just was none all i said was well ermm i dont know what u would like me to say i got all the im sorrys and i get that prob deep down he prob is and i get that he thinks in his booze brain that i could take up where she left off with all her stds and i ermm no way could i so for now the only thing thats happening is im going to fetch my things back before someone ends up setting fire to em or something.

Im trying to sort out getting to more meetings too think one a week aint enough its just one is in really rough area shootings etc and the other day time one well the train goes there but have no idea from station but i shall find out where it is and i plan trying to get to an AA one too as then maybe i can let some of this anger go that maybe i will accept this is not something hes doing personally to hurt me that he cant control it cos right now im struggling with that.

We do have an open meeting coming up and one of the speakers is gonna be from AA so that will be interesting i think.

I feel ok atm though better than i did this morning maybe cos someone listened and tomorrow im going back to pilates cos my back has really taken alot of battering lately cos the muscle strength i had isnt there anymore so will have to work hard to bring it back with my bone probs its important but lately ive just let myself go really have so back to looking after number one me xxxx
kia is offline  
The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to kia For This Useful Post:
chicory (10-28-2010), cymbal (10-28-2010), HealingWillCome (10-29-2010), HoopNinja (10-29-2010), Live (10-28-2010), TakingCharge999 (10-28-2010), theuncertainty (10-28-2010)
Old 10-28-2010, 02:01 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Curled up in a good book...
 
bookwyrm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 1,542
I'm so glad you've been referred to counselling. It really helped me, though reaching out for help in the first place was really hard at the time. You're actually sounding a little stronger in your post. Hang in there Kia. Keep looking after you.
:ghug3
bookwyrm is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to bookwyrm For This Useful Post:
chicory (10-28-2010), cymbal (10-28-2010), kia (10-28-2010), Live (10-28-2010)
Old 10-28-2010, 02:37 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
A jug fills drop by drop
 
TakingCharge999's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,783
PILATES RULES!! I am so glad you are taking actions to feel better!! keep the good work up!!
TakingCharge999 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to TakingCharge999 For This Useful Post:
chicory (10-28-2010), kia (10-28-2010)
Old 10-28-2010, 05:28 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
I'm no angel!
 
dollydo's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
I too am glad that you are being referred to councelling, I believe that it will help you.
dollydo is offline  
Old 10-28-2010, 05:42 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 220
Sounds like you are taking very positive steps forward... I'm glad for you.
KerBearz is offline  
Old 10-29-2010, 01:37 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
kia
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: southport merseyside
Posts: 536
sometimes i think i sound more positive than i feel though was chatting with a friend last nite and took offence at something they said and got in a right mood angry and very upset so went off rather suddenly cos i think i kinda expected them to be something there not its prob why i do need the counselling.

Is it a bad thing though to be the person i am i mean do i have to change me and be some sort of hard person and someone im not cos i got told that wishing someone sweet dreams was corny and sleep well was like im ordering them to have them and i saw red cos i cant change who i am and wont do i like who i am and am not gonna do that so on that rant ill leave it there
kia is offline  
Old 10-29-2010, 09:07 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,262
Blog Entries: 5
I love to hear someone whisper "sweet dreams" into my ear at bedtime. It makes me feel wonderful and loved.
Live is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Live For This Useful Post:
kia (10-29-2010)
Old 10-29-2010, 09:36 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
kia
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: southport merseyside
Posts: 536
Originally Posted by Live View Post
I love to hear someone whisper "sweet dreams" into my ear at bedtime. It makes me feel wonderful and loved.
thats just the problem the A used to do that not every nite but most nites when he came to bed and suppose now i expect it and it kinda hurt they didnt do but well ill get over it but it was a plus thing with him i suppose there had to be one there on the list and yes your right it does make u feel loved
kia is offline  
Old 10-29-2010, 09:47 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,262
Blog Entries: 5
Kia,

He is like a broken gum ball machine.

You put your quarter in and it doesn't give you a gumball.
You put another quarter in and it does.
Then you put in a dozen quarters and you get nothing.

Do you keep putting your quarters in just because you got a gumball once?
Live is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Live For This Useful Post:
bookwyrm (10-29-2010), HoopNinja (10-29-2010), kia (10-29-2010), TakingCharge999 (10-29-2010), wicked (10-29-2010)
Old 10-29-2010, 09:51 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Community Greeter
 
Freedom1990's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Originally Posted by Live View Post
Kia,

He is like a broken gum ball machine.

You put your quarter in and it doesn't give you a gumball.
You put another quarter in and it does.
Then you put in a dozen gumballs and you get nothing.

Do you keep putting your quarters in just because you got a gumball once?
Gads, this is a perfect analogy of the insanity we suffer while in active codependency! Thanks, Live!
Freedom1990 is offline  
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Freedom1990 For This Useful Post:
HoopNinja (10-29-2010), Live (10-29-2010), wicked (10-29-2010)
Old 10-29-2010, 09:53 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
kia
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: southport merseyside
Posts: 536
Originally Posted by Live View Post
Kia,

He is like a broken gum ball machine.

You put your quarter in and it doesn't give you a gumball.
You put another quarter in and it does.
Then you put in a dozen gumballs and you get nothing.

Do you keep putting your quarters in just because you got a gumball once?
yep how true and a broken one at that and i dont even like gum xxx
kia is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to kia For This Useful Post:
Live (10-29-2010)
Old 10-29-2010, 09:56 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,262
Blog Entries: 5
That's funny Kia...now you have me laughing!

Freedom....I can't take credit...I read it somewhere about being with unavailable (can't give love) men. but glad you like it.
Live is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Live For This Useful Post:
kia (10-29-2010), wicked (10-29-2010)
Old 10-29-2010, 09:59 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,262
Blog Entries: 5
That's funny Kia...now you have me laughing!

Freedom....I can't take credit...I read it somewhere about being with unavailable (can't give love) men. but glad you like it.

and it has a typo!!!
Live is offline  
Old 10-29-2010, 10:17 AM
  # 14 (permalink)  
kia
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: southport merseyside
Posts: 536
Originally Posted by Live View Post
That's funny Kia...now you have me laughing!

Freedom....I can't take credit...I read it somewhere about being with unavailable (can't give love) men. but glad you like it.
well its true i dont knew i had to get there in the end and make u laugh xxxx
kia is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to kia For This Useful Post:
Live (10-29-2010), wicked (10-29-2010)
Old 10-29-2010, 11:13 AM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,262
Blog Entries: 5
(((((((((((Kia)))))))))))

Honestly, gal, I have just about run out of new ways to say the same old thing.
It is to the point where I am nagging and I don't want to be a nag. It's a bore and it's a violation of both our boundaries.
Live is offline  
Old 10-29-2010, 11:24 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Community Greeter
 
Freedom1990's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Kia, the concept of changing yourself isn't to make yourself hard.

It's to discover the maladaptive thoughts and behaviors that have brought you pain in your life.

I love both of my daughters-one a codependent, the other an addict-but I don't wish to get entangled in their dysfunction.

Does that make me hard? I don't think so. What I've learned is to develop healthy boundaries, change my dysfunctional beliefs, and take care of myself first and foremost.

From all of your posts I've read, it appears that you've never really developed healthy boundaries and stuck with them.

You still maintain contact with the A.

You have no sense of self, and so you are knocked off balance easily.

I've been there and it's miserable and painful.

You are a child of God, and I truly pray you come to see that some day.
Freedom1990 is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Freedom1990 For This Useful Post:
HoopNinja (10-29-2010), kia (10-29-2010), Leise (10-30-2010), Live (10-29-2010), TakingCharge999 (10-29-2010)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:59 AM.